Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

am I cutting nose off to spite my face?

17 replies

chipkid · 30/12/2005 21:54

babysitter let me down badly on boxing day-decided to go out with her family instead of turning up for pre-arranged babysitting for dd when Dh and I had planned to take ds together to first panto. (Arrangement made two months ago) She sent text message on Christmas day. As a result I had to go with ds alone.
I tore her head off and have vowed never to let her into my home again. However this leaves us without a babysitter!
what would you do?

OP posts:
Crystaltips · 30/12/2005 21:56

Advertise .... in the local church - there shoulkd be some sunday school kids who need a bit of cash .....

starlover · 30/12/2005 21:56

i wouldn't use her. that's not on... and especially sending a text to tell you!

find another babysitter

Crystaltips · 30/12/2005 21:57

I know that's where I had a lot of success .... Otherwise offer to sit for a mate and then they can reciprocate

NomDePlume · 30/12/2005 21:59

Would she want to sit for you again after this ?

I'd be peeved but I wouldn't cut her out totally, especially not if she is a good trustworthy sitter who your kids like. TBH, I'd cut her a bit of slack over letting you down at the 11th hour given that it was Christmas, not from a Christmas spirit point of view but from it being Boxing Day and can you blame her for wanting to spend it with her own family or mates instead ? She was wrong to leave it so late to let you know but IMO no real harm was done by it and you did bend her ear about it.

ladymuck · 30/12/2005 21:59

How valuable is an unreliable babysitter to you? Time to find another one I think.

Original poster
chipkid · 30/12/2005 22:07

can you believe that I am a reference for her with an agency as she is hoping to get more babysitting work and is hoping when she finishes her present course to be employed as a nanny?

OP posts:
starlover · 30/12/2005 22:08

well tell her you don't want to be her reference any more.

Original poster
chipkid · 30/12/2005 22:11

can I do this? I have already provided a written reference to the agency before Christmas. If anybody followed up the reference I would have to tell the truth about her-so it is better for her if I am no longer her referee I suppose.

OP posts:
tamba · 30/12/2005 22:13

Yes she let you down but - Shes never hurt your kids, Never done anything wrong whilst looking after them, I dont think its very fair to withdraw from being her referee and stopping her getting jobs in the future.

Socci · 30/12/2005 22:17

Message withdrawn

Original poster
chipkid · 30/12/2005 22:18

I have no intention of making life difficult for her-but if my reference is followed up I am afraid that I will! When I was looking for a nanny, I wouldn't touch anyone who was not considered utterly reliable.

OP posts:
Original poster
chipkid · 30/12/2005 22:20

socci she is in her early twenties.

OP posts:
Socci · 30/12/2005 22:22

Message withdrawn

Crystaltips · 31/12/2005 10:43

she should learn that if she is to be taken seriously, then she should take her responsibilities seriously as well. She's an adults and trust / reliability cuts both ways ...

IMO she needs to learn a harsh lesson - more for her benefit ( souding like my mother )

Freckle · 31/12/2005 10:46

Local nursery workers often like to do additional babysitting and clearly they have already been CRB checked and are used to dealing with children.

nannynick · 31/12/2005 17:34

babysitter let me down badly on boxing day >(Arrangement made two months ago)
She sent text message on Christmas day.

I think this is discraceful behaviour from your babysitter. You had booked the date well in advance. Your babysitter was not ill or seriously injured, or incapable of getting to your home.

As a babysitter myself, I would never cancel a booking just because something else came up.

In the past year, I have only cancelled 2 bookings as my car broke down (late on a Friday) and I was unable to get a hire-car (until Monday am), thus was unable to get to the locations. Parents were given the option of collecting me but due to not living that near, this was not very viable and taxi's would have been v.high cost.

With regards to the reference, I presume this incident is a one-off. Thus your reference is still generally valid. Anyone who contacts you for a verbal reference and asks about reliability, you should be honest and say that you have experienced an incident of late cancellation.

Have you discussed this incident with your babysitter since it happened? Is your babysitter aware of how upset you are about the incident?

Original poster
chipkid · 31/12/2005 22:23

nannynick-i thought it was disgraceful too-whether or not she may have preferred to be with friends and family on boxing day is irrelevant-she could have said no when I asked her to sit. She knew that I was booking tickets on the strength of her agreement to sit.
In answer to your question re reliability-she had never let me down before but there were a couple of incidents all recent which made me wonder. She agreed to babysit for a friend of mine then forgot all about this when my friend rang to confirm the time the day before!
She babysat for me on the friday before boxing day and when I said see you on boxing day she said she had forgotten about it but would still sit for me.
I will have to reveal this to anyone following up my reference.
She knows I am furious with her. She spoilt my son's first trip to the panto.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread