Need advice, honest advice, about to explode with best friend.

[worriedmate]

Name changed as I know she reads my posts.

My best friend is late 30's and she kicked out her last partner several months ago when she found out that he had been abusing her ds from her previous relationshp, he is now in prison awaiting court. She had 2 kids from a previous relationship and 2 with her ex partner (who's in prison) her kids are all pretty messed up as dads gone and 2 are at counselling because of the abuse. I suggested several months ago when it kicked off that she should just spend a few years getting herself sorted and her head and kids head together. I found out a few days ago that she is seeing someone and has been for a few weeks, he sleeps over and sees kids etc etc.
I am so annoyed as her kids are really going through it and need 100% of mums time, and she is not seeing that they need her, she recons she deserves a life as well, we had a slight falling out, but i came home and over the xmas period it has festered and it seems to annoy me more than ever.

I desperately need some advice as seeing her for lunch tomorrow, and at the moment feel like shaking her and trying to make her see that her kids need her and she has to put them first.

hiya i dont know how u feel but i was in a violent relationship and it was really messing with my dd head we left and i was seeing men and it messed her up more and if it wasnt for my friend telling me straight then i would have carried on as i didnt see that she needed me im so glad she did i really hope u sort things out i think it might be worth u trying to talk to her again and see x

It sounds to me like she feels she needs the attention of other men to help her get over the previous relationships. Although it wasnt abusive, after I left my last relationship, I swore no future men would come into contact with my kid until I knew it was serious. I have been dating someone now for 9 months and he has seen dd once, when he called in to pick up a cd, but dd is oblivious to what he means to me.

I think from your msg, you dont live near her, but if you do, maybe you could offer a babysitting service once a week (and then she could do same for you) so she can see the man outside of the home, and therefore away from the kids?