have you found it difficult having kids with a big age gap between them?

[natmeistergeneral]

i have three kids ranging from fourteen to fifteen months and find it really hard trying to juggle the needs of teenagers and toddler- anyoone else in same boat?

me!

DS1 is 13 and the DTs are 22months. I have 5 in total, the other two DDs are 11 and 7.

I find myself compartmentalising their lives. DS1 is hugely independent, which I'm grateful for otherwise I would fall apart I think. I don't know how much of his independence is down to the fact that if he doesn't get on with it it won't get done. However, it works.

It can be hard, but I talk to the older ones and explain how much the wee ones need my attention and time. I also make sure to take my older ones out individually. DS1 and I go out to supper every 6 weeks or so. DD1 and I go shopping, Claire's Accessories and then out to lunch (which includes a chocolate banana milkshake - yummy!). DD2 and I go to the cinema and stuff popcorn.

When I don't have the cash to flash we go for walks or simply to do the grocery shopping together.

The DTs get me all the time and currently don't need one on one time in the same way. Of course by the time that they do I'm hoping that the older ones will be far too busy for me lol.

Don't know if that is of help or hindrance to you, but that's the way it goes in the Mars household.

I am a big sister! Db2 was born when I was 12 1/2 and db1 was nearly 14. We are very close and get on very well together - a lot better than with the brother I am only 15 months younger than (although he and I do get on well too).

Good things:
Unconditional love and cuddles when you're going through teenage angst
Being able to win points with Mum by helping with the baby
Maturity: from age 12 I was a grown up because compared to the baby I was
Now - I still get the excitement of that stage when you're going out into the world and have huge ambitions, and when we had ds1 I knew exactly what to do. He was quite good contraception through my teens & 20s too - I was under no illusions what babies were like

Difficult things:
Holidays - in the few years we were all at home it was very hard to find something that we all liked
Sleep and exams. Or rather lack of sleep and exams - they don't mix

I absolutely adore him and have done since he was born. I cannot imagine a world without him. I don't know if my Mum knows just how strongly I feel about him and how close we are. We tease each other mercilessly when our parents are around. So maybe your children are closer than you think!

that's exactly how my older ones are about the DTs fisil.

He made my Grandparents live long and be young too

Fisil - what an absolutely lovely post. My stepdaughter is 10 years older than my ds and 13 years older than my dd and I hope they can be as fraction as close as you are to your baby brother.

My little sister is only 5 years older than my ds. She is only 3 years older than my nephew.

ds is 19 and away at university, dd1 (16) is in the 6th form and dd2 is nearly 4 and has just started nursery. Like the earlier post, dd1 has announced what an excellent contraceptive a baby sister is! They love her to bits and have far more patience than I have. I've also had far more cuddles from the older ones since the littlest was born. And they take her on the rides at Thorpe Park, so I don't have to!
There are times when ds and dd1 are peed off at dd2 having to come first - but they are old enough to understand why. I do try not to make a big deal out of "blaming" her as I don't want them to resent her.
dd2 sometimes gets later bedtimes than I'd prefer (usually if I'm chauffeuring the older ones) but I think the good things outweigh the bad.

you wouldn't believe the fuss i made, from spending 14 years as an only child, when i found out that my mum was pregnant. I had always hated babies, and had always loved- needed- my space. Those 9 months were some of the most difficult for me and for my family, and i really thought that that was it. There is 14 years between the two of us and no children in between- sure she annoys me when she screams in the middle of night when i have exams the next day, and sometimes i just cant be bothered to pretend to eat her imaginary food items when im trying to meet coursework deadlines, but i wouldn't swap her for anything in the world. It has helped me develop more than anything, and being that much older, i have had such a huge part in her life (okay my parents are a little useless with her, lol) and i take a hell of a lot of responsibility in her life- i think big age gaps are better than smaller ones as it forces the children into a much more mutually depedent relationship, and will take a load off you too!!! They will have a great relationship in the future too, i guarentee! My mum and i have a fantastic relationship now

my older two are also absolutely fab with ds. i agree with fisil about knowing how to keep everyone happy in school hols-a real challenge at times! didnt realise how many of us were out there with similar setup-you must have all started young like me! would be interestd how many of you are in stp families as my ds has different father to others

I'm old enough to entertain myself in the holidays, and my sis is too young to disagree! Bless her! But i can imagine its difficult with her middlies. My mum and her partner have been together for about four years- never knew my dad and it was just me and mum for quite a long time. I find it weird sometimes i guess- like when i say to people she's my siter and they correct me and say HALF sister- it really annoys me. And the fuss his mum and dad make over her when i have barely anything to do with them... i get really over protective! She has an entire family that i have hardly anything to do with, and that is one of the downsides of being in a step family i will admit. And she calls him daddy- i never had that!

I have four children, with 21 years between oldest and youngest. They are 30, 26, 18 and 9yo. Imo there are always hiccups when bringing up children, it's just that the problems when one has 21 yrs between children are a bit different to the problems encountered when one has 21mths between them! My oldest ds found his tiny sister acted as a babe magnet for him with all the girlies flocking around when he was out with her.

not quite as big an age gap, but i find it difficult to juggle the need s of my almost nine year old with those of the younger two, four and almost three.

when my dad was in his twenties, not sure how old exactly, he came home for the weekend after a few months away, and his mom put a baby in his lap saying it was his new brother! and my dad isnt even the eldest. he has an older sister and an older brother!

Mine are 12, 10,9 and 1. I love it but we're lucky because no 4 is very chilled-I think she needs to be! Logistics are the worst - we live right in the country and dh works abroad so I SPEND HOURS IN MY CAR. It's fun - we just get on with it.

If my babies slept and dh wanted another I'd be pg by now, I really would.

its certaintly an advantage havaing that extra bit of help occupying the littly when you are trying to cook dinner etc and im sure she has a far bigger vocab than the others did at her age due to the extra input, mind you unlike you thecattlearealohing im far too knackered to consider another one!