I know I have ranted before about mil, but I am lost for words at this...

[NotHavingXmasInChicagomum]

MIL just phoned to confirm she can feed cats whilst we are away over xmas (which is great and I am really thankful) however she also said that it would be good as she will then be able to get our dinner service and wine galsses etc to use for her guests on xmas day as she doesn't have enough) "oh" i say (as this is news to me). "is that a problem" she replies. "no" i respond "it's just that I would have liked to have been asked". To which she replie "well I didn't think I needed to as it is my son's house and as he's family what is his is effectively mine!" . TBH I am not fuming with her just gobsmacked at such a bizzare attitude.

Really do you suppose she will be checking out her underwear drawer??? I dare you top put crotchless knickers in your drawer, and leather thongs in your dh's...

even worse -- put ladies underwear in dh's drawer

dh doesn't know yet (some off you may know my story, basically for several reasons (MIL being one but a v big one) I have persuaded him to move next year putting some greatly needed space between us.

Could you give some catfood and cat bowl to the neighbour and ask if they would mind feeding it outside your backdoor/in your shed (or something? Also wouldn't give her keys whilst not there, she sounds like she'd have a good old nose round.. bank statements etc

I agree get someone else to feed cats.

Be a bit cunning, don't leave it all dirty and out but just take it out and smear some grot over each plate, let it dry then stack it all up and then you can say "oh yes the dishwasher was playing up and not cleaning properly at some point, must have been that"

Don't think she would bother snopping around tbh as she has been over many times before whilst we've been on holiday so I'm sure if it was going to be done would have already. Half tempted by some of your ideas but feel it may be a bit petty. Plus I have the upper hand in knowing that in a few months we will be to far away for impromptu visits, constant expectations of spending most ofthe weekend in her company etc.

Stash it in the loft! When you get back and she wants to know what happened to it, tell her it was packed away ahead of the move and you forgot to get it out for her. Unless it's something you use often?

I'm so glad my MIL is now my xMIL

Oh wow - you have really pulled a cracker!! There are some truly minging MIL stories on here but yours is one of the witchiest!! I wouldn't let her near my cats, she might be teaching them evil spells.....

I would just be very blunt and say "Whatever impression you may have been under, our things are ours, and you may not help youself. Please ask before making plans involving our belongings in future. I'm so glad we were able to clear up this misunderstanding!"

But then I am a bit of a cow myself!!!!

at the cheek of the woman!

You are right, don't be petty, pack the stuff into a box and leave it ready for her, smile and just focus on the fact that you will soon be far, far away

You don't need to give her a set of keys. Tell her she is free to use the cat flap as much as she like.

If she wants joint ownership of your house then presumably she'll be happy to pay her share of the mortgage, too?

loon-ee!

I have persuaded him betroot, but tbh until we actually sign on the dotted line for a new house will still be a bit apprehensive he will back out at the last minute. (particularly worried what will happen when we finally tell her about it).

Oh Chicago mum your MIL sounds like mine - a total fruit loop.

She didn't speak to dh and I for months because we didn't consult her about having a wooden floor laid. Um, it was in our house. She likes to say at every opportunity that it is her ds's house and not mine ?????

You are not alone!

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chicago mum,
dont resent your MIL, but do make sure that what goes around comes around.
If she wants keys to your house, then ask her for her keys, so that you can copy them at the same time.
Make sure that you think of something of hers to borrow, soon after the dinner service/wine glasses loan.

If she is a genuinely sharing person, she wont mind. But if she is a mad interfering old control freak, then she will eventually learn that every action on her part, provokes a reaction from you, and that might make her think twice about doing it.

Where do all these evil MILs come from? There must be special farms out in remote areas where they breed and train them. I so rarely meet people as nasty as MIL in any other context!!

I would have asked someone else to feed my cats....also....you say your moving to put some distance between you and said mil....beware!!!...I thought we were doing that by moving to Australia...she booked a one way ticket and landed here with visa in hand!!!!...and is now living closer than ever...
I went beserk with her and hubby!!!!just horrible!!!

Bizarre!!

Not quite as dramatic but my mother and stepfather followed me across the country. They now live 20 miles away and are in my face all the time. I can't move for various reasons - life is now pretty much a penance. If MIL moved here too I would have to stick my head in the oven I'm afraid

hmm maybe she wouldnt mind taking his dirty skiddies also
at the sheer cheek of your mil

My dh is on his way to collect my MIL. Its a couple of hours away and she could get the train but would rather DH does a 5 hour round trip. She is going to be here for 5 days. Actually got all excited as they had a little falling out a couple of weeks ago and theought yippee she won't be coming. No such luck..