Following on from the thank you card thread ... big long rant!

[BibiJesus]

Does it p*ss you off when other people don't put as much thought/effort into gifts for your children as you do for theirs? It drives me insane and I know this might sound ungrateful so no abuse please, I just wanted to rant.

We have friends who live a long way away, only see them maybe once or twice a year. They've got a small baby who's almost a year younger than dd.

When he was born we bought him some lovely things and I put a lot of thought into what I bought (age approprate etc), wrapped them up, wrote a welcome note in his card, posted them carefully in a box etc, all of which I enjoyed because I was doing and giving something nice to a friend who had just had her first baby.

For dd's birthday we got a text the week after saying she'd forgoten to post her present (but I think had only realised because of a pic of dd we'd emailed to friends in her party costume). When it arrived stuffed in a jiffy bag, it wasn't wrapped, the sale price tags were left on, there was no card and the "2-piece outfit" was 2 different sizes so can't even be worn as an outfit. For some reason this has been bugging me ever since and I can't let it go. What's wrong with me?! There was very little effort or care involved and I think I'd rather dd got nothing than a half-arsed gift like that.

Sorry if it sounds ungrateful and silly, it's just bugging me still.

Lats Year i was 7 months pregnant and dd1 was 3. I still took time and thought over pressies.
I got my sister a lovely wooden journal and a lovely frame with picture of ddin.

She gave me a big white robe from Asda with the price tag left on !

I haven't even wore it, it just sits in a drawer irritating me.

I agree with the "rather have nothing than something half-arsed". We have a friend who never remembers the childrens birthdays, then weeks later buys something, usually totally innapropriate, and expects it to be fine. It drives me insane, if we're not important enough to remember on time, don't bother thanks!!!

thank goodness someone agrees with me

A half-arsed gift is more annoying than a forgotten one, it's a gift given out of a sense of guilt or duty, who wants that?

Agree agree. My BIL and wife bought DS a £3.99 present in the supermarket and week and a half after his 4th birthday and dropped it round. I was out thank the lord, my mum was babysitting and she took it in. It was a pile of crap karaoke machine and no thought went into it at all, it was a panic buy as they did their weekly shop.

I put hours of thought into their kids' presents, buying wisely (3 for 2 or in the sale as I'm not loaded) so it's not about money it's about buying something with thought involved as to what is suitable for the child.

I did want to stay stuff their kids then but I won't change as much as they won't so their kids are receiving great presents from me and my kids will be receiving crap from them.

Oh, I feel soooo much better for venting THAT!!

I spent years taking time effort and money on buying expensive thoughtful gifts for my family/friends for xmas. However, this year is different after last years crap.

My DB got me a George Foreman health grill for me for xmas last year (no idea why - i like cooking ).

I got a Rosemary Conley health grill from my other brother the previous year.

I gave the George Foreman grill back to my DB as i didnt use the first one, i certainly wouldnt use a second one. He was going to exchange it. He never did and now uses it himself in his new flat with his gf. He never did replace the gift.

My youngest brother got me a juicer two years in a row.

I always spent ages on thoughtful gifts for them all prior to this. THIS year, i though fuck it, im too stressed, too busy and too poor to do this now, and for what? So they have got cheapo (v cheapo gift sets from boots for two of them) and a £5 mug tree and mugs for my DB and his GF for they new flat.

And i am TOTALLY happy with it.

Ive spent the time effort thought and money on my kids this year, and only my kids.

We stopped buying brother/sister presents long ago, when children came onto the scene.

I agree with the sentiments here. I get annoyed when I have to buy 4 presents for one SIL's children, and three for the other, and not a single thank you is received.

I agree too - getting angry just reading this. I've once again put effort and thought into get dh family nice presents even though we will get pile of shite or nothing in return. Last year I got a biro from inlaws, year before a brown acrylic jumper (gave it to charity but would think it must be dusters!). At least they remember us though. SIL doesn't even send us a card though always remember her dd. She's a single parent so don't expect anything from her but a thank you (or even that she got presents) would be nice.

I keep saying won't send anything but I don't want to go to their level - it's about giving not blah blah blah......

oh, I could go on ...should count my blessings, at least I don't have to see them!

Dh often says "well, don't spend so much time on their presents then, if that's the way you feel" but doesn't understand I want to give their children nice, not necessarily expensive, but nice gifts. It's not the child's fault their parents are thoughtless and ungrateful.
grrrrr