If you were unsure about having another baby, but knew it would involve a 'turkey baster'...

[Twiglett]

would you be put off?

Twiglett - maybe the fact that it 'won't/can't happen naturally' is putting extra emphasis on this for you?

yeah .. that and the fact I'm 39 next year

i am taking a guess here, but the fact that your dh put some sperm on ice, suggests to me that you both feel/felt that you wanted more kids. is it a case of when he says yes rather than him never saying yes?

it appears that you both wanted more kids, but its actually taking that clinical step thats the problem.

actually .. when we went to see fertility consultant (before conceiving) she recommended saving sperm due to DH's condition / medication .. so we did it on a just in case basis ..

DH has always said 2 children (he's youngest of 9)

I've always said 4

so I thought 3 would be a good compromise but am torn .. partly due to the lack of 'allow the fates to decide'

actually today I am a crap mum so maybe shouldn't even think about it

Twiglett, I would be very concerned about the strain it would put on my marriage, and wouldn't countenance it unless I was absolutely desperate for another baby.

aha .. this is good

do you mean the strain an extra child would place if DH had to be 'convinced'

or the strain of trying to conceive artificially?

I was thinking specifically about the strain of trying to conceive artificially, but I agree that if you also had to work quite hard to convince DH, that is additional strain.

I always said that personally I wouldn't want to go down the assisted conception route, but then I was lucky. I will also have to stop at two as dh would never, ever agree to another year of no sleep.

I was very broody like you, then not, then broody, then not etc etc.

Now, after dd2 going through a "lets stay up all evening and, hell, why not through the night as well?" phase and the strain it has put on us, no way will I be having another one.

Like you I LOVE little newborns and can't imagine NOT being pregant again....but I overheard dh on the phone to his friend the other day, saying, and I quote "I would rather nail my knob to the table" when asked if he wanted another one.

So unless you both are keen, I wouldn't do it.

xx

In a similar position here. Have one DS (4) who was IVF/ICSI. No 2 would have to be the same. I am now 41. DH would be happy with just one but I want another. Although not as much as I did. I'm not panicky.

I do wonder about going back to the baby stage. And what if it was twins!
But would love DS to have a sibling.

Can't advise really!

Dot, i thought of you last night when i couldn't sleep after reading this thread. Hope your DS's are well

Twig, as you know I've been trying for no 2 for 18 months and we recently tried IUI (turkey baster). It is funny because if someone had said to me 2 years ago that we would have been in this situation I would have dismissed them. I have always been one of those people who couldn't understand OPKs and getting obsessed with fertility and even having treatment but reality is sometime very different. As it is my treatment was cancelled (another story) but it's really not so bad and not a tiny bit as invasive as IVF.

And it is a strain on relationships. It's really really hard and I honestly had not even the tinest understanding of that before we started to go through it ourselves.

the point I was trying to make on teh last bit is you both have to really want to do it because (mentally at least) the whole TTC marlarky is pretty depressing and draining.

am slightly nervous at the thought of someone thinking of me 'in the middle of the night'

I do agree with KR about the strain on relationship when you go through any sort of assisted conception. It is the "all or nothing" part of it that we found exceptionally hard to deal with.

You psyche yourself up so much to even get started on it, and then at every turn there is a possibility, and in all honesty in some cases, likelihood, that it will fail. It is incredibly difficult to cope with. Of course you do cope, because you want the end result so much.

In fact, the physical side of it seemed pretty straightforward in comparison to the emotional.