Should we encourage our children to aim for their dreams......

[HRHQueenOfQuelNoel]

even if you think it's out of their grasp because of expense??

Or should we tell them they can't afford it, and encourage them to find something 'more affordable'?

Or in otherwords - do we let our current financial standing affect our children's ambitions?

how do you mean?
ballet lessons or a university education?

anything - really - things that they'd love to do (and probably be good at) but we don't think we/they could afford. Whether it's sporty, academic, arty, or just work place related.

Shall come back to this later - DS2 just woken up.

Are you talking about things like violin lessons etc that you would need to find money for now?

Or wanting to be a doctor/architect when they grow up necessitating years of training?

If the former - difficult in your situation, though there are ways round it. Dd2 we have recently discovered is a good ballerina, so we have been scraping money together for lessons etc - fortunately my mum helps out.

But we have said to both our girls that if they want to go to Uni when they are older then they will have to fund their own way through it. They understand and accept this.

spooky mazzy!!!

I would like to think that my children will be brought up top think that anything they want to achieve is well within their grasp...with hard work and determination.
I'm not sure if we could afford Polo/Formula1 or Sailing (we are a bit landloked here as well!) but would try anything to enable them...

no no no - not talking about my situation - just in general.

I think Polo (you have to have the lifestyle to be 'in the team' IMO) is the only thing I'd try and discourage my children from - simply because I don't want them turning into snobs in 20yrs time LOL

I would love dd to think that she could try anything and there wasn't a 'glass ceiling'etc. When we get older we get pessimistic/realistic - while she is young I would like her to think she could try and reach the moon - so to speak. I would like to support her in anyway I could but not be pushy IYKWIM. I imagine it depends on personal experience. I was never allowed to do piano/ballet lessons etc - because of money but also because my mum couldn't be arsed! So I want to encourage dd but for her own sake - not to live my dreams through her - this must be hard - dd is only 14 months - so I may report back in a few years.

I'd love to turn up at a Polo match though....bet it's brilliant to people watch!

unlikely someone not in that world already would want to be a Polo player tbh

but if they did you could encourage them to go riding at a local stables

but you don't like polo as you think it is too posh, not because of money?

dont really understand this thread

I was always taught that I could achieve whatever I wanted and, although we were not that well off as kids, I didn't consider the financial side when thinking about what I wanted to do. It was a struggle but it paid off. Ex-dp always thinks of the obstacles first and rarely does anything he really would like to. Very fustrating.

I'd encourage encourage, plenty of time for reality when they are older.

sailing with a local club needn't be at all expensive, crew for someone costs nothing, all you need is bouyancy and youth membership is very low and most clubs have some optmists or toppers for general use

I would always strive to let my kids go as far as they can in life (whatever that is in, and to whatever level)

I was in school with a kid who wanted to be a cartoonist. Every one mocked him, and told him that he had to have a 'real' job.

He was an artistic director at Disney, and is now head of animation for Sony. So much for a 'real' job, eh?