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Original poster

Working away

18 replies

gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 12:33

How would you feel about working away for days at a time? Leaving dh and kids? Even if it was lucrative and you would really enjoy the work itself. Could you or do you? I have done it before, but as a one off, not as a semi regular thing.

I have actually said yes in principle, btw. I am just starting to think about it now. And it wouldnt be for ages yet, so I don't know why I am worrying about it......

OP posts:
melrose · 13/12/2005 12:35

I go into Londpon every Monday, I often leave before DS wakes and am rarely home for bedtime so may as well be away. I also stay away overnight about once every 2 months. I do not find it a problem - nice to get an uninterupted night's sleep and a lie in!!

elliott · 13/12/2005 12:36

I've done it on occasion, but not regularly. I find it fine from my point of view(!) and I haven't been away long enough to feel bad about the kids, but I would feel bad about leaving dh to look after them on his own. Not because he can't do it (he does as much as me normally) but because it is hard work and I know I would object at being left alone on a regular basis.

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 13/12/2005 12:38

Theoretically I would do it (I don't work!) if for no other reason than for the uninterrupted night's sleep and the lie-in mentioned by melrose, but I hate my dh doing it and leaving me with sole responsibility for the children. So, if i were you, I would factor in to the equation how your dh feels about being left with the children.

As for the children missing you, how often would you do it? For how many nights at a time? Would weekends be affected? It is difficult to judge without knowing these things, but kids adjust to most things.

Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 13:00

It would be for days at a time. I would have to get help in as my husband could not take the time off to do the school runs etc.

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Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 13:22

humour me.bump.

OP posts:
tortoiseshell · 13/12/2005 13:23

www has been working away from home - she might have some experiences to share.

SilentBite · 13/12/2005 13:24

ggg I used to do this and tbh I didn't enjoy it v much (it's me CD btw)

However sometimes I welcomed the rest! A couple of nights in a Hotel du Vin with a good book does wonders to recharge the batteries!

Logistically it is a pain but if you get live-in help shouldn't be a prob. Also is nice when you come home as family v v pleased to see you.

Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 13:25

When I was in UK in nov, ds (6) was sobbing nightly down the phone. How old is your dd? How old are www's?

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SilentBite · 13/12/2005 13:27

Ah yes well I only did it til dd was about 2 tbh

Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 13:27

hmmmm

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motherinfurrierfestivehat · 13/12/2005 13:28

WWW's younger one is about two, so she does know this terrain well. Not sure if she's around atm. I've got her email.

Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 13:32

did you see, MI, taht someone pinched my red article? The hussy.

Still, if I had pulled my finger out....

OP posts:
motherinfurrierfestivehat · 13/12/2005 13:32

I saw but hesitated to mention it to you.

Must get back to own Red article.

ohFennelyeHerbful · 13/12/2005 13:33

i regularly go away for a few days. but only about once a month. am going to Lisbon for 3 nights tonight, Yippee! can hardly wait to leave dd2's tantrums behind for a few days.

it would really depend how often for me. couldn't do it every week.

blueshoes · 13/12/2005 13:34

snowsnwo, I imagine some factors to consider would be the age of your children, whether they get to see your dh for some part of the day (even if he does not do the school runs), how familiar they are with the help (or whether it becomes a revolving door), how much they need you on a daily basis. Will the extra income allow you to give your children more focused attention for the times when you are at home?

If I were you, I would be really tempted to take up the work. The extra ££ means you can get more security and even pay for special treats. But at the end of the day, I know the job would really for myself because of the time away from the family. I know when dh goes on his occasional business trips he is probably getting more me-time and sleep than at home, even if he is working hard on the job. That's just my opinion. Hope it works out

Original poster
gggimmesnowsnow · 13/12/2005 19:38

Bump for the just got in brigade.

OP posts:
JingEllBells · 13/12/2005 20:37

We-ell... It would depend. On various things, like how many days away? How frequently? How old are your children? How much of disruption to their 'normal' life would it be (would it involve a new childminder, or starting with a childminder when they'd never been with one before)? And so on...!

I work full-time, and have been away overnight on the odd occasion (for conferences, examining at other institutions, and so on), but it's only ever been a couple of nights away (longest was 3, I think) and perhaps somewhere between 2 and 5 times a year. My dds are 3 and 5 and I went back to work each time when they were 6 months old. OTOH, my dh is often away. He's away tonight just for one night, but last week was away from Tuesday till late Sunday night. The dds don't seem to mind. They do sometimes say 'I miss daddy', but they don't get distressed about it. In the same way, dd2 sometimes says 'I missed you today mummy' when I pick her up from the childminder's in the evening, but she is never actually upset (c/m would tell me for sure, as she's very good like that). If dh is away, there is no real disruption to the girls' routine, as they just go to the c/m as usual after school/nursery and I pick them up at 5 as usual. If I am away, dh will take the day off or arrange his work shifts so that he can pick them up from the c/m at the usual time, so again minimal disruption.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be away, say 3 days a week, every week, on a long-term basis. But that's just my decision.

Nightynight · 13/12/2005 21:16

Wouldnt be keen if I didnt have to. Everyone I know who is doing this, is trying to pay for ludicrously expensive mortgages.

Your children will be bottom of the class cos you wont be there to help with their homework!

Yes, you will definitely need a nice young lady to live in and help with ferrying children to school etc........

Children will make you feel incredibly guilty by saying things like "I miss you Mummy (sigh)" and you have to have a cast-iron reason for what you're doing to withstand that.

2 year old will pretend she doesn't recognise you when you finally do get home.

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