friendships at almost 5

[mousie]

my dd is almost five. She starts full days school in april - half days now. She is tricksy in some ways - by no means a perfect child. However all the other mums at school are very zealous in arranging playdates and networking and generally ensuring their girls have so called "friends". My dd doesnt' seem that bothered - and the playdates I have engineered are by no means that succesful (I have a younger son and their is quite a lot of sibling love/ hate going on much of the time anyway). I try and do playdates with just daughter and a friend and they work better - but are costly (getting babysitter in for son) and not a long term solution. Should I keep trying to socialise her (she is happy at school but a definite loner) or just assume she will make friends when she is ready and just leave it alone. Basically - is all this networking a good idea and will she miss out if I abandon it. Does all of this make sense?

It does. Personally, I rarely initiate playdates, unfortunately my DD1 (also 5) does - and as I have a younger dd, as you say, it doesn't always work out like it should.

Left up to me, I wouldn't push it. Some of the other mums probably only have one child, so it's easier (and convenient, as their child has a playmate and the mum can probably get on with other stuff.)

Can't ever imagine paying a babysitter so my DD could have a playdate tho.

if you worry about your kids you pay for the most ridiculous of things. I don't do if often and obviously it isn't a long term solution as I said. But giving them time one to one with me, or with another child is something that seems worth paying for just occasionally.

My DS1 is just over 4, so not quite the same. He demands playdates. If he didn't, I probably wouldn't bother.

And I wouldn't get a sitter for DS2 for a playdate - I actually expect DS1 and his friend to help entertain DS2! Or, at worst, DS1 and his friend go off and make a mess in DS1's room, on their own.