I have this friend. We were at University together - graduated in 1991 and haven't met up since. We did keep in touch, though somewhat sporadically, and then we found ourselves both expecting our first baby in 1997. We both had boys (5 weeks apart), and both went on to have second boys. We also both had PND (twice) and she was such a great support and friend to me (I hope I was to her too). I am exceedingly fond of her and at one stage we emailed every day - though in the last few years that has petered out and we often go for months with no contact.
Anyway..as we had babies at the same time, we sent presents, then birthday presents, then Christmas presents...and this has continued. But now I'm in the position of never having met her children (who are nearly 9, and 7) and having to think of birthday and Christmas presents every year - and it's hard. I don't know what they've got, or what they're into. And as her birthday is in December too it gets rather expensive - birthday and Christmas presents for her, Christmas presents for the boys - plus postage (can be around £50-£60)
Anyway, she emailed the other day and said she'd forgotten ds2's 4th birthday (which is fine) and how she was so disorganised this year, she hadn't even started Christmas shopping.
So I took this as my cue...and just sent an email saying "shall we not bother?" I explained not in a nasty, I don't want to be your friend anymore type way, but in a "we've got enough to do and they get too much already type" way. But now I'm cr@pping myself that she'll be offended or upset, which is really not my intention. I have already got her a birthday present which I will still send (cos it's lovely) but oooh have I done the right thing?