Down in the dumps

[Angiel]

I'm feeling really fed up at the moment. It just seems that lots of little things have built up and have left me feeling low.

My washing machine is broken.

The central heating isn't working properly so the house is freezing.

The cat flap has fallen off, so I've got a big whole in my back door and a freezing cold wind whistling through it.

My house is just a mess of half finished jobs and nothing ever seems to get sorted, because dp is always at work at the moment.

The kids are grouchy because they have hardly seen their dad recently.

My mil was diagnosed with breast cancer a month or so ago and we haven't seen her since then. I have spoken to her on the phone but she says she is worried one of the kids will bash her boob so she can't see us at the moment. I know she has seen the other grandchildren though so I'm feeling a bit hurt.

I haven't heard from one of my sil's since the beginning of June. I have rung her and suggested we go out but she seems totally wrapped up with her friend at the moment. I suspect that she might be having a fling with her friends brother, who happens to be her ex boyfriend.

I keep forgetting to take my prozac, in fact I haven't taken it for about 3 weeks now since I went into hospital. In fact I can't remember to take any of the tablets I'm supposed to take, any tips?

If it is the lack of prozac that has made me feel down, how long before it starts working again if I can remember to take it?

Sorry for this long and rambling post, just getting it all out of my system.

Hey Angiel, this is just to say 'listening', and make sure you get a quick response. I don't know your story, or anything about real depression, prozac, etc, so will stay off anything that sounds like advice! BUT I would be feeling very fed up with that mixture of big upsets and minor irritations. There are some things you can't do very much about (like other people's bad behaviour...but if you can't do anything about it, you don't have to feel responsible, either), but get the washing machine fixed! You'll have to do it at some stage, so even if you have to go into debt now, make that call, get washing machine man round and then give yourself a BIG pat on the back for having solved one of your problems and achieved something positive.
But mainly....just listening.
Hug.

Angiel, do you have a friend that you can go and visit for the day? A mother and toddler group that you can go to anything just to get out of the house? That's what I'd do, just go out for a while (most of the day in my case) and face everything later when things won't seem so bad.

Put a piece of card or plastic (ie bin bag) over the cat flap and hold in place with tape until it can be fixed, the cat will let you know when it want's to come in and until then that's one less draft.

I too don't know much about depression but even for me some days seem impossible and others (even with the same problems) are dealable with.

I'm here too, can't do much to help either but agree with Blu, find a washing machine repairer now. Then could you improvise for the cat flap ? Maybe sellotape (or duct tape if you have it) the top edge of a plastic box lid over the hole to reduce the draft.

Do you have a service contract for the heating ? if yes, take a big deep breath, pick up the phone and make an appointment.

If you've got a mobile phone maybe you could set its clock to ring to remind you to take your prozac, then reset it for the next day as soon as you've had it.

I know it's hard but try to tackle a little at a time.

Hugs, it's horrid when everything seems too overwhelming.

Oh Angiel, what a sh*tty time you seem to be having I'm sure (as sure as a layman can be) that your probs seem a thousand times worse as a result of skipping your Prozac, so perhaps that is a priority issue here.

If you have a Nokia mobile phone you can set 'reminders', these allow you to type in a phrase, say 'Take Prozac', and you can program an alarm to go off at a certain time and date. When the alarm goes off (just a beeping generally) it will display your reminder phrase. I'm sure there are loads of other ways to remind but this always helps me as it is loud (rather than being a note I can ignore/forget again!).

Re Your washing machine - Have you called someone out to look at it and got a quote ? Is there a launderette nearby or a friend you can ask ?

Re The central heating - Again have you called in a pro to quote for the prob ? The only other thing is to dress warmly and try to eat hot food and drink hot drink as far as poss.

Re The cat flap - Cut a square off a cardboard box (cereal box will do) and sellotape it over the cat flap entry. I know that will mean that your feline friend will have less freedom of movement but he/she will just have to get used to being let in/out via the doors/windows for the time being until you can buy and fit a replacement.

Re The half finished jobs - Do your best to try to accept that they will not get done until DP is able to do them, sounds obvious I know !

Re Kids - You are doing your best, and I'm sure that your patience is wearing thin. I have no real solution to this other than try to distract them from DP's absence. Perhaps you and the family can go on a family day out (zoo or wherever) once DP's schedule normalizes a little ?

Re Your MIL - All I can offer here is sympathy, I'm sure that your MIL is still coming to terms with her diagnosis and so it sounds to me like a few allowances have to be made for that.

Re SIL - You have enough on your plate without worrying about what SIL does with her sex life.

I'm sorry if most of this is stuff you already know/have done. As I've said before I think that getting back on the Prozac will be the key to you finding your way out of the gloom. Speak to your GP about it, I'm sure that forgetting to take medication is common in people with depression. I suspect that he/she will have some constructive advice (you never know, they might even know a good plumber ). Once you are thinking a little clearer you will be better equipped to deal with the other areas.

You appear to be bearing the load of your DP's absence, it's likely to be harder than normal but have faith in your abilities. You can do it.

Very, very best of luck. xx

Oh Angiel sorry you are having a bad time lately.
As for the prozac I found it kicked in after a week or so.I always took it with my first cuppa in the morning so I didnt forget.
Everybodys advice is brilliantre catflap and washing machine.
Hope things will get better for you soon.

AngieL - You have had rather a lot on your plate lately, so no wonder you are feeling down! You'd have to be superwoman not to feel a bit down. Feel free to email me again, and we can arrange a date for that meet up.

Tackle each thing individually. When you look at them together, it seems an insurmountable lot of problems, but each can be sorted. Try not to worry about your MIL, I'm sure she is not being horrible. Things always seem worse when you are down. I got all upset about something a friend said to me yesterday, and I'm sure that she was just joking in a tactless way. It seemed much worse until I discussed it with my sister!

Contact me if you would like to.

Sue

Sorry you are feeling so down Angiel All the advice you have been given is great. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Regarding the medication - I always forget my vitamins if I don't get into a routine with them. I keep them in the kitchen so I keep seeing them all day and it reminds me.

Sounds like you have lost all your enthusiasm to deal with the deluge of problems facing you. I do sympathise and hope you get a bit of va va voom back soon. Lovely caring advice from WSM.

Good caring advice from WSM. Generally, I think everyone would say to try to attack one small thing, if you can, and it will make a big difference. Don't know about how early you must take Prozac, but sounds as though you should start taking it immediately - just take it at the same time every day. I remember to take my vitamins every morning, as I put them right next to the coffee machine, and it's become a habit. I hope you feel better soon, and know you have a lot of support here.

How are you doing today Angiel ?

Thanks very much for all your advice yesterday. I am on more of an even keel today. Here's an update for you if you're interested.

The washing machine is mended, dp fixed it last night.

The central heating is sort of working but making hideously loud banging noises at regular intervals.

I've put something in front of the cat flap until we can get a new one. Apologies for the bad spelling of 'hole' yesterday.

My house is still full of half finished jobs and I'm feeling really irritable with dh. Trying not to be too horrible as I think its probably pmt, just feel like shouting at him though.

Spoke to mil today and I'm probably going to see her next week. She seems to be coping ok and at the moment is preparing herself for surgery at the beginning of November.

Mil and I also spoke about sil. Apparently she is keeping quite a low profile at the moment and it seems pretty likely that the ex boyfriend is something to do with this. Think I'll take your advice and just let her get on with it and will try not to feel too offended that I never hear from her anymore.

Thanks for the idea about setting the timer on my phone to remind me to take my tablets. I had no idea my phone did that. Just need to remember to get a repeat prescription as I've nearly ran out.

Thanks again for helping me sort a few things out. I'm normally pretty practical but things just seemed to be piling up yesterday, you've helped me get back on track.