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Original poster

Is middle child syndrome a recognised condition?

18 replies

FrostyTheRickman · 08/12/2005 23:02

After a crappy appointment with the School Nurse, I rang my HV today regarding my ds. She immediately said that she thought he had problems with his placement in the family and was suffering from middle child syndrome. I do agree that this could be his main problem, but is it something I can do something about?

OP posts:

elastamum · 08/12/2005 23:22

I thought middle children got less attention but normally turn out well balenced as a result as they have to fit in?

Mimsie · 09/12/2005 00:30

This is from personal experience as in my family... I dont know if it is a recognised condition, but I certainly know it was hard for my brother...

I am one of 3, two older brothers and the girl last.

I know my middle brother has always felt less wanted. Bro1 was the first born child, Bro2 was born then mum tried again and got her little girl. It is something that I know he felt. I dont think my mum did anything to make him feel that way though she has said she was happy to have a girl. and I suppose there is the thing that maybe he got less new clothes and stuff....

But anyhow it is quite tough for them, I dont know what the answer is but I think it's very important for a child to feel that his birth was very much wanted, and maybe it's worth pointing it out even more to a middle child.

I think it's worth trying to do something about it... My bro2 certainly hasnt turned out all that well balanced.

LadyTophamInAChristmasHatt · 09/12/2005 07:06

but rickman, you have 4 don't you?

how can it be middle child syndrome with 4?

I have 3(and I am one of 3) and IME it's aload of poppycock!

NutcrackingXmas · 09/12/2005 19:42

What is middle child syndrome ???

I have one and I am one .

Original poster

FrostyTheRickman · 09/12/2005 22:27

Well I'm not sure what it is, but my ds had his nose put severely out of joint when my dd2 was born and things have never been the same since. My HV seems to think that the fact that I have 4 is irrelevant, as ds2 is the baby and so he obviously has that role to fill.

Sorry the phone rang half way through this post and I can't remember what I wanted to say, so I'm just going to post this.

OP posts:

NutcrackingXmas · 09/12/2005 22:29

My middle child is the more difficult of the 3, definatly.

NutcrackingXmas · 09/12/2005 22:30

But i was an angel obviously

MistleToo · 09/12/2005 22:30

more labels

I do not concur - ds1 is a middle child, he's a well adjusted adult male, different to his siblings, of course he is - they're all different to each other.

OnTheFlossDayOfChristmas · 09/12/2005 22:36

I think it differs in DP's family. He is the eldest, and on his mothers part at least, DP seems to be the least favourite. All her affections went to his brother, I think because the year age gap was tough on her. BIL is a cocky, self assured arse hole. Dp is much more pleasant. All my friends who have met both always tell me I have the much better brother. And I know I do. Sorry that last bit is completely off topic isn't it?

COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP · 09/12/2005 22:53

My brother was/is the middle child in our family and has always been the favourite with the most attention.

QueensSpeechEagle · 09/12/2005 23:04

I think where you are born into the family CAN have an effect on you. Take my lot for example:

dd is in a league of her own as she is the eldest and only girl.

ds1 was always the difficult one after I had ds2 and I always put this down to so-called middle child thingy.

Then I had 12 more and it's ds2 who is the awkward one probably because ds1 is older and more sensible now and a lot of my time goes on physically caring for the younger 2, so therefore ds2 tends to get a bit keft out and I also tend to be a bit short with him.

Original poster

FrostyTheRickman · 09/12/2005 23:15

Sorry I was taking all of that in QE, until you said you had 12 more and then I totally lost the plot and the rest was all a blur!!!

OP posts:

OnTheFlossDayOfChristmas · 09/12/2005 23:28

2 more - surely not twelve? Or do we have a guinness book of records holder in our midst?

QueensSpeechEagle · 11/12/2005 10:05

lol - 12 more!!!

Of course that should be 2 more. If it was 12, I looked damed good for having had 15 kids!!

Enideepmidwinter · 11/12/2005 10:31

someone on here said once that only middle children believe in middle child syndrome

PottyinaPearTree · 11/12/2005 10:34

That's probably true Enid lol.

I'm a middle child, married to a middle child and I have a middle child. I think we all have a few issues

Chandra · 11/12/2005 11:48

It exists, it also known as the sandwich syndrome. However, there are also very accurate personality descriptors for every children (first, second, third, fourth, older, younger, etc.)

I'm sure if you do a search in a library with a good children psychology section you can find loads about it.

puddingandpie · 11/12/2005 14:12

I've heard of 2nd child syndrome always in shadow of older sibling. Plenty of TLC and maybe special time with just you and him for a while and see if this helps. My mil whom is great i am very lucky always says this about my d/h younger brother. He is 38 now!!???

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