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Original poster

If people are having a conversation nears kids and they keep swearng would you say anything?

26 replies

misdee · 08/12/2005 12:51

the people not the kdis btw. so many times over the last week when i have been out and heard people f-ing and blinding when my kids are next to them in queues or anything, i have been tempted to ask them to mind their language but i lose my nerve. has anyone said anything?

OP posts:
SnowmAngeliz · 08/12/2005 12:52

I have on a few occasions. (depends how'ard they look )

Epiffany · 08/12/2005 12:53

I have sometimes depending on the place and time.
Most times its teens and they are really apologetic when you ask nicely.

Witchycat · 08/12/2005 12:55

Depends on the situation and who's kids & what age.

I take my 4 yr old to football matches and must admit I haven't dared ask anyone to stop swearing. I sort of think it's 'allowed' at a football match.

Not sure I'd address the issue if it wassn't my kids or my friends kids either.

BUT, if someone was swearing in front of my 4 yr old ds (say in a queue), then, yes, I probably would say something. (Assuming it wasn't some massive scary looking person

Pixiefish · 08/12/2005 12:55

If I knew them then yes I would politely ask them not to swear giving the reason that the kids may pick it up. I'm afraid though that if I didn't know them then I wouldn't say anything for fear of aggravating the situation

dingdongmeggymooonhigh · 08/12/2005 12:55

Agree with Epifanny, I have been really surprised when asking teens to talk more quitely or try not to swear in front of little ones, most times they've been apologetic. Wouldn't dream of asking if the people swearing looked wellard either

Mercy · 08/12/2005 13:17

Like the new name - Epifanny!!

lanismum · 08/12/2005 13:19

i was on bus the other day, and this old woman started going mental at the bus driver, she was swearing, and she then started shouting at my brother, called the bus driver a c**t, my dd was there, but there was no way id have asked her to stop, as she was clearly crazy, and i was trying too hard not to laugh at my brothers face

Mincepiedermama · 08/12/2005 13:25

I think it's fine to say, 'Oi! Language please', with a smile on your face and point to your kids. Some people just forget they're doing it.

COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP · 08/12/2005 13:25

I'm too much of a coward.

The Head recently had to send out a letter asking parents to stop swearing at school. No-one had dared to confront the culprits directly but apparently a lot of people had complained to the Head.

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 08/12/2005 13:49

I wouldn't bother. You can't protect your children from everything and they are going to hear swearing soon enough. They are going to try it out on you, too, eventually.

There are plenty of ways, I'm sure, in which you live your lives differently to others, and children have to learn and accept differences. One of which is that 'we do not talk that way'.

LilacBump · 08/12/2005 13:51

i give filthy looks and people tend to stop and actually apologise then. my glares are very effective

6beetrootsAmilking · 08/12/2005 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tamba · 08/12/2005 13:55

I always do, i usually just say 'can you do me a favour and not swear in front of the kids please' and they usually laugh and stop swearing.

Was in a shop the other week and there was a group of teenage lads pretending to fight and swearing, i was with my boys and the bloke behind the counter (big tough looking man) was saying nothing so i just said 'excuse me, I know your only messing about but my little boys dont and your scaring them, can you do me a favour and stop please' for a sec they looked like they were going to say something but then they just said 'ok sorry'

I think if you ask some one instead of telling them, and asked respectfully they usually dont mind shutting there mouths for a bit

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 08/12/2005 14:05

That's true, Tamba. I have spoken up in situations where the children were bothered by it, and generally politeness wins the day.

But unless the children are bothered I really wouldn't bother.

ParrupupumScum · 08/12/2005 14:25

Would def consider it if the c word was being used. Am terrified of my kids learning that word too early. They have shown all too clearly that they cannot be trusted with forbidden words.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 08/12/2005 14:34

yes, depending on the circs
I have in the swimming pool for example
I do it in a jokey way
I am less inclined to do it if dh is there, for fear of getting him into aggro
happy to get myself into aggro

Original poster
misdee · 08/12/2005 14:35

what do you dowhen one of the kids piupes up with 'muuuuum that person said a naughty word.'

OP posts:
Caligyulea · 08/12/2005 14:39

No. Some people swear all the time and it's just their natural conversation, they're not trying to be offensive.

DS knows he's not allowed to say those words, just as he knows he has to pronounce the t in water. I wouldn't dream of telling someone to aspirate their aitches or pronounce their T's, and I sort of feel the same about swearing, depending on context. Aggressive abusive swearing is a different matter, but conversational swearing isn't something I'd get het up about.

Witchycat · 08/12/2005 14:39

Good question Misdee. Ds has only just started school and doesn't even know any really naughty words yet so he tends to say (loudly) "that person said a naughty word" when all they've said is 'stupid' or 'idiot'.

Bless him - wonder how long he'll be that innocent ! (Probably not long if I carry on taking him to watch football matches)

Mirage · 08/12/2005 22:51

My cousins FIL came out of the pub drunk one evening & was swearing & carrying on whilst a group of children were nearby.A bystander asked him to stop & pointed out that there were kids within earshot,but he wouldn't & threatened the bystander.

Bad move,the bystander was an off duty policeman & our foul mouthed friend ended up in court & got community service.

It hasn't stopped him though-he can't seem to help himself & neither of his DIL's want him around their children.

HaveaMerryChristmas · 08/12/2005 22:53

No - swearing doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact I love a good expletive.

moondog · 08/12/2005 22:55

Can't get that worked up about swearing,especially as I have a mouth like a sewer myself.

BadHair · 08/12/2005 23:58

Yes, but only because dses can spot a swear word from 20 yards and will use it at every opportunity.
My mum is still reeling from the time she was in a traffic jame with ds1, then 2.5, when he piped up with "bloody traffic". Don't know where he got that from (ahem!).

morocco · 09/12/2005 00:09

nope, as caligula said, for some people (ie me) it's just part of their conversational 'style' and part and parcel of real life. They are only words.

Mimsie · 09/12/2005 00:09

Heh heh I dont need to, DS(5) walks to them and tell them off! though last time we were having a pub lunch and he went to that lad who was twice my size and said in the most offended voice "YOU have said the F word 4 times and the SH word 3 times" and just stood there waiting for the lad to apologise! which he did (felt obliged to)lol

I did have a word with DS since and we agreed not to do that to strangers!