Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

Original poster

Playdates and MEN!! What do you think?

17 replies

crunchie · 02/12/2005 09:55

My dh asked me to post this as he is really interested in your opinions.

At the mo he is a househusband, and picking the kids up from school everynight, he is also trying to 'payback' some of the playdates we have taken advantage of over the last 6 months (some friends have had my two kids for whole days!) so he is arranging loads of playdates. All the people who know him have no problem with this, however he is thinking he may have an problem if dd's want kids over where he doesn't really know the parents well.

So question 1, would you allow your kids to go to a playdate where it was the dad looking after the kids? and would it be different if you didn't know the parents well (ie would you be happier if a strange mummy was there, rather than strange daddy?)

Secondly at teh last playdate they were all playing dress up and one little girl asked dh to help her take off her T-Shirt. He suggested that my dd help, but she wanted him to do it, so he did. What would be your thoughts on this one?

Thanks as dh will be following this thread with MUCH interest

OP posts:

Mog · 02/12/2005 10:04

In all honesty, if I didn't know the Dad I would want to be around for the first few playdates. It would be different for me that it was a dad and not a Mum. It's grossly unfair of me but ultimately I would be responsible if anything untoward happened (not suggesting this in your case). However, if your children are older it might be different (mine are under 5) and if the other mums know your dh from school pickups.

MARINAtivityPlay · 02/12/2005 10:11

Crunchie, I'll be honest and say that unless I knew the dad well I'd prefer it to be the mum. Having said that, the dads I do know well are the ones who are very involved in the school/nursery pick-up, like your dh from the sound of things, so he might be better known than he thinks he is IYSWIM.
Having agreed to send my children to a playdate supervised by a dad, I would accept that he might have to help with loo trips or dressing-up stuff, and not make his life hell by issuing a series of mistrustful terms and conditions.
How old are the children btw, as I think this is highly significant. I would feel very happy about sending ds to a dad-supervised playdate I was comfortable with - he's six and a half and could and would readily tell me about anything untoward. This has only really been true this year.

jennifersofia · 02/12/2005 10:16

With someone I didn't know very well, a dad or a mum, I would want to be there for the first playdate or so. As long as I felt that the person was fine with the children and my children were fine with them, I don't see a problem with it. Do think it depends on age of child. I am mainly referring to my dd, who is 4.5.

Original poster

crunchie · 02/12/2005 10:21

Kids are 6 and 4 (nearly 7 and 5) and guests are of this age.

Obviously he is 'known' at the gates, but he is imagining a time if dd wants a child home and the parents aren't 'freinds' of ours. So far all the playdates have been friends too

OP posts:

titchy · 02/12/2005 12:07

To be honest I'd be fine - anyone who wants my kids for a couple of hours is always fine

If your dh is picking up the other mum's probably would be fine as although they may not kow him personally he's not exactly a stranger as he's in the playground every day. I think people tend to make judgements about parents based on the children too - so if your kids are in proper clean (in the mornings anyway!) uniform, don't 'f' and blind in the playground or belt the living daylights out of their classmates most parents would consider that you're decent people for the their kids to be around.

HTH

beejay · 02/12/2005 13:38

I wouldn't have any problems with it at all as long as I had met him before and he seemed fairly sensible eg not a hells angel ( apologies to any mumsnetters who are hellangels )

snowydelight · 02/12/2005 13:56

The fact that it's a dad rather than a mum wouldn't bother me - I would expect the usual "etiquette" of having a chat, exchanging contact details, info on any health issues/allergies etc. and as long as that was done it would be fine. I do have to say though that DS2 is 7 and is quite capable of asking for me to come and collect him if he wasn't happy (politely I hope!). At four I wouldn't have sent him off with anyone I didn't know well without accompanying him the first couple of times, but that would be the same whether it was mum or dad.

zebratwizzler · 02/12/2005 13:59

Wouldn't matter if it was a dad or mum; if I didn't kow them, I would prefer to come into their house for at least a few minutes when playdate started, if not stay the whole time, first time the playdate happened. It astounds me that people have dropped their 4-6 yo kids off at my house & not even come in or talked to me, barely knowing who I am or what the atmosphere in my house might be like.

But if I KNOW them then I don't think I'd care if it was the dad in charge rather than the mom; I wouldn't feel the need to observe.

Dad helping take shirts off... if the girl doesn't mind then she's probably of an age where it doesn't matter.

Glitterygook · 02/12/2005 13:59

If I didn't know the dad I suppose I'd be edgy - but I'd be just the same if I didn't know the Mum.

There is one boy at school who is nearly always dropped off and picked up by his Dad and I chat to him a lot, he seems nice and respectable (he's a fireman) and I'd be quite happy for ds to go and play there.

I think I'd feel more comfortable if I knew the parent - dad or mum is irrelevant.

doormat · 02/12/2005 14:11

wouldnt bother me what gender

hub2dee · 02/12/2005 14:13

Don't tell Tamba, gg... she'll be outside your school gates in a shot, LOL.

Stargazer · 02/12/2005 14:22

Hi Crunchie

If I don't the the parents (mum or dad) then I make a point of meeting them. I can't see the problem once I've met them.

Stargazer · 02/12/2005 14:23

Hi Crunchie

If I don't the the parents (mum or dad) then I make a point of meeting them. I can't see the problem once I've met them.

GoodKingWestCountryLass · 02/12/2005 20:11

I wouldn't be that happy with the kids going on playdates where I didn't know the parents, be that the Mum or the Dad. If I knew the Dad I would be happy for him to help my kids a needed, included heloing with the loo and the like

foxinsocks · 02/12/2005 20:16

we have quite a few dads at home round here and the kids seem quite happy to go there and play (and I haven't even thought twice about it).

If I hadn't met the parents/carer before, I would want to go in and say hi but that would be the same whether they were male or female.

Tamba · 02/12/2005 20:19

Hub2dee

damm right!!!!

christie1 · 02/12/2005 22:15

It would not matter to me if it was a mom or dad. I don't send my kids to others homes until I met the parents. I know lots of stay at home dads and would have no problem sending my kids on a play date with them.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread