Went out for a meal last night with a bunch of good friends. We were that gang of women you always get sitting next to you when you have that long overdue romantic night out for two...cackling about sex, childbirth and Wife Swap! Told them all about my mooncup and have convinced one of them..I should get commission (the rest were to busy pi**ing themselves when I said you can put it in the dishwasher at the end of your cycle).
Anyway, in a moment of madness, three of us decided we felt like a boogie and would go on to a club. The others, far more sensibly, opted for Ovaltine and bed.
It has been YEARS since I went clubbing - and ooh, it all came flooding back to me. We went to a new place that's just opened and it was a cross between a Cattle Market and Crufts (miaow!). At last I know who's buying all those minging 80s clothes that have suddenly appeared in all the shops..loads of neon coloured stilettos and asymmetric printed tops in shocking pink and turquoise...and chunky plastic jewellery, what's that all about?
Anyway, us old folks hit the dance floor to show them how it was done. A young man pulled his pants down and waved his willy about a bit which I took to be a sign of welcome (both my boys do the Willy Dance while I'm running them a bath, never seen it done on a dance floor before). It was 80s night, so I was anticipating a bit of Soft Cell, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Wham...unfortunately we got Tiffany, Whitney, and Take That. Shamed myself by knowing all the words to "I think we're alone now."
And...there was a point to this...I pulled! A young chappie tapped me on the shoulder and said "what would you say if I asked you to dance?" I replied "I'd say no. Sorry. Run along now, dear." He looked quite sad. Couldn't decide whether to be flattered or if he just thought I looked old and desperate enough to say yes.
Oh, but I'm paying for it today. I haven't had a hangover like this for a long time. Dh, bless him, has been a star and taken the kids out for most of it, and I've stayed in bed.
Best bit? As of this weekend, DS1 (6) has to keep a diary of what he's done at the weekend. Now last weekend he could have written "Mummy was busy cooking vegetarian meals for seven people as we had visitors, we went into the countryside for a lovely long walk."
I looked at what he's written for today..
"Mummy was sleeping all day. She only got up in the afternoon and went back to bed straight away. Daddy said she drank too much wine last night. Daddy took us to Mackdornaulds."
Note to self: I am a 34 year old, married mother of two. I am member of PTA, and help out in school every week. I must not attempt to relive my misspent youth and go out boogieing and drink many bottles of Smirnoff Ice and get chatted up by young men.