I'm mortified

[hangingmyheadinshame]

and I need mn wisdom and plenty of piss taking to shake me out of it. went to the loo today in a cafe. did a no2. forgot to have a quick glance at the toilet when all was done to check for erm evidence/make sure it had flushed properly. opened toilet door to find (gasp) one of the mums from school waiting to go in. Not just any mum but a particularly perfect one. Not just pretty but nice too. And it was probably really pongy. Like I said. I'm mortified.

Well, I'm sure you are not the only one in the world who's shit smells like...erm...shit! I know what you mean, and totally sympathise, but try not to worry about it. She probably needed a dump too .

'Whose' even!

Oh well those perfect mums need bringing down a peg or two and exposing to the realities of life.

when you see her next say 'golly gosh werent those toilets a disgrace!'

I share in your mortification! I dread needing to go at work - will only use a particular loo, will only go when I've made sure no-one else is around, and will wait in there if I suspect some-one else is near. I am very weird about my poos - quite anal, in fact

is she so perfect that she doesn't poo?

This may come as a bit of a shock but even perfect, pretty, nice women poo. I know, it's hard to believe but it's true. And guess what? All poo is pongy! It's not worth being mortified over.

If she is so perfect she wont mention bumping into you im sure

But even so - ive never heard people gossip about other peoples sh*t stink before.

Admittedly not so nice for her though to walk into

very funny thread!

On the same subject (not hijacking thread promise!) this week I went to a "parent focus group meeting" at Ds's seconday school where various subjects were brought up for discussion on how the school could be improved. One of the subjects was to have air fresheners in toilets and regular inspections as they weren't nice places for pupils/students to "go".

When I got home I asked ds what he thought of the school toilets (he's in yr 8, being going there since Sep 2004) and he said he'd never been in one because he'd heard they weren't very nice - always waits til he comes home! I could't believe it! He's nearly 13 and for over a year he's never even had a wee at school! Is this weird or normal I wonder?

it could be worse...there's been a story on radio1 this week (so my trendt hairdesser told me) about a woman who went out and pulled a bloke she really liked. She went back to his place for the night and had a great time.

Next day she had to go to work, so she got up without waking him. She was desparate for a poo and went for one, only to find his loo is knackered and won't flush.

So, she removes the poo in some tissue thinking she will discard on her way to work. Then she writes him a note with her phone number as she really wants to see him again. Then she quietly closes the front door.

Only to realise that she's left the poo parcel inside, beside the note.....

We were chatting about poo at work this week for some strange reason. Apparantly healthy poo shouldn't smell and it should be 18 inches long!

I've read a lot about school loos (what with me having no life whatsoever..)Apparently lots of kids don't use them as they are so vile so no wiarw,he isn't unusual.

Thanks for that info northerner! Am I right in thinking that "healthy" ones should float??

Mine don't and it's always secretly worried me!

Thanks for your info too moondog... sure I'll sleep better at night now knowing there's nowt strange about my otherwise perfect lad!!

If they are too floaty that means that you have too much fat in your diet or windyness - I was told!

I understood that floaty meant that you had enough fibre in your diet.

OMG, so laughing at Reindiors first posts! and the story about the poo parcel! OMG!!

My hv told me that floating meant too much fat - but was talking about DD1 not me, so don?t know if different for kiddies?
What a pleasant topic
Love the poo parcel story, coffee now all spluttered over screen (again!)

According to Gillian McKeith, who knows her poos, they shouldn't smell, they should be sausage shaped, and they definitely SHOULD NOT float! They've got too much fat in them if they do [barf emoticon]

Ewww.

OMG! Laughed so much nearly lost control of everything and ended up with my own parcel!!!