What would you do? Re Works Christmas Do?

[ChrimboCracker]

Last year, due to me being ill I couldn't go to dh's works do, he went anyway, even though he doesn't HAVE to, he then got totally paralytic and decided it was quicker to walk home (through a v v rough area) on his own as it was easier than getting a taxi, its about 5 miles, I found out a few days later that someone had offered him a lift home but he said no because the bar wasn't shut, there was about half hour left including drinking up time.

When he got in, he was shaking with cold as he also hadn't taken a jacket and he was so drunk he could barely say my name, so goodness knows how he walked home, but it was the longest walk of my life, especially as someone was viciously beaten and spent weeks in hospital near where he walked past and I don't want to do that again, AND when he went to bed he was that drunk didn't make it to the loo and wet the bed

It is getting towards that time again when his works do will be wanting numbers for a who are going and he is hinting at going on his own again so that he can possibly go into town with the lads after, i'm not happy about this as his works do will be the only time I go out this christmas. A few weeks ago he went on a works do and I KNEW he would be steaming because it was a free bar, I paid for him to stop at a travel inn nearby so I wouldn't have to see him in such a state, but instead he walked to her sisters and made her bring him home so not only did I have to put up with being woken up, but I hardly slept because he has a habit of nearly burning kitchens down when drunk and he was in bed all the next day disgustingly hungover AND I lost the money for the travel inn because he was a no show.

Would you let him go on his own, or if we are unable to get a babysitter, should we BOTH stay at home with a bottle or two of wine and watch a DVD?

God he doesn't sound as if he should be allowed out alone tbh! I would veto it I think in the circumstances or agree that either you BOTH go or no-one does.

If I go, I can TRY to cut down on the amount that he is drinking, but, he has a habit of going to talk to his mates and downing a few spirits whilst my back is turned.

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I usually have a big night out with the girls every year, but, because he has cancelled his 'Shopping trip' (he only comes over with a belly full of beer', he is expecting me not to have mine either.

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I had a similar situation last year (well, except for him walking home!) because the company we both worked for has their party "away" in a hotel (room included as well as dinner and drinks, free bar!) A neighbour took ds for the night and we both went.
He stayed up till all hours with the "diehards"; I tried to go to bed at 2 or so but of course couldn't really sleep waiting for him to get back. He came to bed at 4 and I felt we should leave by 11 as it was 2 hours drive back home. Then of course he was sick as a dog the rest of the day and I was exhausted and still had to look after ds, obviously.
So if he will stay in the hotel, you could go with him early, and then go home on your own while he finishes up with the lads. It's the only way to do what you both want and at least you'd get some sleep!
If this sounds overly permissive on my part it's because my dh very rarely goes out drinking so he tends to binge just that once a year, especially with the offer of free drink for the night!

Don't you find Charlie that when you mention it to them they say 'it's not my fault, I have a week bladder', OF COURSE ITS YOUR FAULT YOU PRAT YOU WERE DRUNKL AS A SKUNK.

i apologise in advance my only excuse is i am a lush.

i dont think its unreasonable to get shitfaced on a xmas do.

if you can get a babysiter why not go out with him for most of the evening and then he can go into town with his mates later.

if you can get rid of the kids - you could get shitfaced too.

LOL custy nothing wrong with being a lush

I'd let him go. Surely if he's old enough to have kids he's old enough to go out. I like custy's idea of going for the first bit then him carrying on with his friends.

Yes he is old enough to go out, you're missing my point, when he comes home he is obnoxious, cocky and nasty, and always causes an argument, he wakes the full house up, wets the bed and then spends all the next day in bed and when he does finally get out of his pit, he shouts at the kids if they make any noise because he is feeling so rough, don't see why I should have to put up with it.

I've just asked him if he is staying home with me this year if we can't get a babysitter and he just laughed and said 'no chance' I work for this all year and deserve it, what about me deserving something?

I don't think it's fair that the whole family has to suffer just because he can't drink responsibly. If he's also in the habit of almost burning the kitchen/house down when he gets home then he's downright dangerous IMHO.

That is one of the reasons why I hate it when he gets so drunk, I can't sleep until I come downstairs and make sure that he is asleep and then go and check the kitchen, I used to make him some fresh sandwiches before I went to bed and put them in the fridge but he never ate them, insisted on cooking chips, burgers etc.

Although he is a grown man, he is still of the mind that he has to keep drinking if the bar is open and because the drinks are free he has to go stupid.

Is he this obnoxious all the time or just once a year? Because if he's like this often, I'd ditch him, tbh.

It does sound like there are more issues than him simply going out.

He is quite selfish yes, he seems to think that he is the be ball and end all, he goes out about 3-4 times a month, I very very rarely go out, but when I do he makes a big song and dance because I prefer to go for a meal and have a chat and few drinks, he says that it costs more than standing in front of a bar.

He also seems to think that this is what he 'works' for all year, going to a do with free ale, what do I 'work' for all year being a mainly sahm with a few hours work each week.

I don;t have a problem with him going out, he went out last week and wasn't bothered, curled up in bed early and watched a dvd, he didn't get too drunk, its just that i know with it being a free bar, he will go over the top, possibly throw up all over himself again and wet the bed.

WHo cleans up after him?

I'd arrange for him to stay over somewhere else and bolt your door, tbh.

Good old me cos he is too rough to do it himself, and, with the kids getting up early I don't want them to see that, all he says with regards to wetting himself is that 'it's not his fault' which really gets my back up.

I once arranged for him to stop at his mums and he woke them all up in a drunken rant and made them bring him home, if I hadn't let him in he would of either frozen to death, knocked the door down (his temper is v v volatile when drunk) or knocked on the door so much he would have woken the street,

Do you think he may be an alcoholic?

OMG!!!!!
Are you living with a man or an animal.
No custardo,nothing wrong with getting pissed but pissing all over the place is another matter.
Also sounds like he is likely to burn his family to death in their beds.

I think the man has a serious problem.

Definately not an alcoholic, he doesn't drink during the week, in fact, he can go for a few weeks without drink, until one of his mates rings up or there is a works night out, then he goes mad,

I think he's more a binge drinker.

His temper is always bad, he shouts alot, NEVER hits out otherwise he knows that would be the end, but, when he has had a drink he gets confused etc and if anyone stands up to him or he feels threatened he loses it bigtime.

I'm not saying he is an alcoholic but you dont have to drink every day to be one.