My dd has a best friend, N, they're always together and I think that dd has a bit of a crush on N, if the truth be told. Lately I've been a bit concerned because dd believes every word that N tells her, and will do anything if N says she should, even if she knows it's wrong. It's been silly little things so far, like jumping in a blocked-up drain so that she's soaked to the knees, but dd told me something today that made me a bit concerned.
My dd has short, curly hair - she's desperate for long hair but it just doesn't grow long enough or thick enough, and this morning she asked me to put it into a ponytail for her. I managed to scrape it up so that she had a bit of a ponytail, and dd said "Do you think that N will think I'm pretty now?" It turns out that N has been telling dd that she's ugly, stupid, and looks silly in her favourite school sweatshirt (she isn't, she's not and she doesn't!).
I've bolstered dd up a bit, told her she's gorgeous, that her hair looks lovely and that she looks really smart in her uniform (I always do tell her how nice she looks), and that if N says anything again she's to tell her "Stop being silly, I'm gorgeous and I look smart" - I don't really know what else to do. I can't tell her to avoid N because dd adores her, and I don't want to try and influence her choice of friends anyway.
But do I tell N's mother? We get on quite well, and she's a nice woman, but I don't know whether I ought to try and get her to reinforce to N that what she's saying is mean, or if that will just make matters worse. There have been one or two little things that dd has told me that makes me think N says things like this to her quite often, and I'd really like to try and nip it in the bud, if I can.