Opinions on health visitors please!

[weesaidie]

Hello

My mum works in management in NHS and used to be a (fantastic!) health visitor... she wanted me to ask for mumsnets views and experiences, good and bad, of health visitors. So they can work on the system...

So. EVERYONE, please... Tell me what they do right, what they do wrong, personal experiences and so forth. What could be changed/improved?

Thanks very much.

Hi mummytosteven,

Seven HVs in two years sounds horrendous. Why are they leaving? It's unusual in my part of the country to have such a turnaround and it must be horribly unsettling. I would be interested to know what your health trust are like to work for.

HV one I suspect went off with stress - she went part time, and seemed to be having difficulties from something another HV let drop. HV two changed over due to swapping around in the area -apparently when the newly qualifieds started work, they were to be given the easiest caseloads, so all the over HVs had to swap around to deal with this! HV four left to work for the PCT.

when I landed back in the UK, I registered DS with the GP and the HV phoned the next day demanding she make a home visit. Within 5 minutes of her arrival it was blatently obvious she knew nothing about BF or the basics of baby and toddler develoment. I haven't seen her since

It would be nice to have one. My HV left just after dd was born 10mths ago and they have only just replaced her. She was very good/

Previous HV was dreadful when she saw dp taking baby to changing unit to change his nappy. She couldn't stop herself from questioning his ability in that Dept.

They vary!

Have had several, we never stay put very long.

First was fab, really nice old lady they had brought back from retirement for cover. The next was absolutely mad. Everyone in the area knows her as mad anne, from behind she looks like a film star and from the front like a seventy year old ghoul. Calls everyone 'my love' and talked rot. Next one was lovely, good fat smily type that I actually knew vaguely from St John as a kid. She went on the same BF course as me too, and was extremely supportive, I even gave her a plug in an article I wrote for the NCT magazine. Then..... I got mad cow back again. Grrrr. But she's not allowed to talk to me any more, coz when i refused to panic when ds3 failed his hearing test (as had the others so I know the score) she sat me down in front of a full baby clinic and asked me if I actually loved ds3. yes thanks, very much. So I complained to fat smily one and got her back again (mad anne went on to alienate both my Sister's and my Mother too not knowing we were related, with her bitchy comments). I haven't met the ones here properly, they came and did a check but Dh was home not me (I feel like a BAD mummy!). She must be OK though, keeps her nose out anyway.

My HV is really nice but I wish she'd leave me alone. She came to visit once when I just had dd1 who was about 18 months cos I'd just moved into the area and I only saw her a couple of times with dd2 when she could see I knew what I was doing so signed me off. But then I had real problems getting dd2 off breast and on to bottle at about 6 months and called her in desperation for advice as I was due to return to work. Big mistake! She couldn't really offer any advice (cos I'd already tried everything) but got out the dreaded scales. Since dd2 was below average weight (hardly a surprise since she was breastfed from birth and 4 weeks early) she has been visiting me every month or 2 months since. It's completely bizarre cos dd2 is now 18 months, walking, talking, drinking milk from a beaker and obviously healthy and happy. Am starting to find her visits intrusive and just really unnecessary. dd2 isn't happy about getting naked and weighed and I'm not happy about having to wait around while HV and whichever student she brings with her weigh her, confirm (for the millionth time)that she's below average but perfectly healthy then leave.

As I've said on another thread these charts just cause unnecessary anxiety and a waste of resources. As she was breastfed for a year in the end the charts just didn't apply to dd2 and if she'd never been weighed I and HV would never have worried. It's so obvious she's fine.

spiderfan I agree about charts, we had intrusion +++ from HV due to DS3's weight, weekly () visits, trips to baby clinic every fortnight with all 3 in tow (one has AS too so not easy in a cramped room), he was bf until he was 15 months with some lactofree formula, but low weight and small like his brotherws, father, etc etc... evntually got referred to Paeds, lots on ters etc and worry, totally OK not a thing wrong, happiest chap you've ever seen.

Useless, totally useless I am afraid. For first child she gave no help or diagnosis with PND and extreme difficulty with breastfeeding, for second child we were told to come and have child weighed after birth, and then didn't see hide nor hair until child was 3 yrs when they needed to boost their funds by proving that they looking after the children in their area. This was by being told I must go to a mandatory meeting - which they then gave a chat to myself and other parents about how it was important to brush teeth and have a reasonable bedtime. I mean, yes, this is good advice, but I really don't need to go to a special meeting to be told that. I do realise that there are those that do, but it did seem a waste of time.
I have to say though, that we have never been hassled about our decisions about immunization, which I am grateful for.
Sorry to be so negative, I am sure that there are really good health visitors out there, but I have never met one. Even my friend who was a HV said that she thought that HV's were basically crap.

I think if you're finding parenthood a struggle and are completely mystified by it but lack the education/support/resources or whatever to come to terms with those difficulties HVs are quite useful but if you are, as I imagine most MNetters are, fairly clued up and avidly read everything about children they're often not helpful and sometimes the opposite and less knowledgeable than mums are as illustrated on this thread. I think part of the problem is HVs or the system doesn't bother to make a distinction between the 2 sorts of parents so I got a HV telling me that it's a good idea to read to your children when I'm an English teacher and read to my dds in the womb and ever since. And Jennifersofia got told to brush her children's teeth which I would like to think is pretty common sense for the vast majority of parents. And, like I said earlier, HVs will go off their precious charts over the evidence of their own eyes and what mums tell them. They need to do a lot more listening and find out more about the children and parents they're dealing with before giving advice. It also annoys me how little advice given by the NHS on pregnancy and childcare is actually based on evidence rather than on old wives' tales or personal experience e.g I got asked by my midwife what my shoe size was (there's a myth that there is a link between this and size of pelvis which can help predict how a mother will cope in childbirth - what a load of rubbish!) and another one told me that while breastfeeding dd2 in the early days I should stay up all night with a cup of coffee and watch the tv cos there was no point going to bed - rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. When NHS professionals are allowed to give this kind of stupid advice it really destroys your trust in the whole system. I'm sure you wouldn't get bad advice from a heart specialist so why is it ok to give it to mums?

I would say tho that 1- admittedly just 1- of my HV's did the Unicef BF training course, and she was great about the weight gain. Why can't they all do those courses? I had to for homeStart after all, and I barely used it.

I've just written a letter to my local health authority asking to be allocated a different HV as ours is pants. (are they the right peeps to write to?)

I've given up on the entire health system, not just health visiters (Why call them "visiters" when the government can't afford to send them out on visits?!). PeachyPlumFairy - Is homestart the same as surestart? My friends just started going to them, but in both my last 2 pregnancies (kids aged 1 and 2) I was told surestart didnt accept anyone from my area. My friend questioned surestart over this and it apparently was a load of cobblers! I sure could have done with them at the time as I was getting no-where getting a house.I was living with my mom, step-dad, 2 brothers and son, with 1 month off giving birth to my daughter when I got a house and even then I only got the place through an ex-councillor friend. Midwives said government had changed the rules and they couldn't help anymore. When I was in labour with my daughter they didnt bother giving me the drip I needed for strep B. They refused to give me entonox until the last 1/2 hour, they didnt phone my partner until 5 min before she was born, even though I'd been asking them for him for 1 hour and 1/2 and then they took her off me and left me on my own for 20 min. At the start when her head was coming, they didn't believe I was in labour because I wasn't due to be checked for 30 min! I had to scream the place down in order to get anyone to look, where they admitted I was right, but I got no apology. I think I would have known with it being my 2nd! It happened to a woman on the same ward as me too, only she was told they didnt bother phoning her partner because if youre not married in your 2nd pregnancy, they dont bother. All health visiter could say was "well, you could complain, but you won't get anywhere and if you go in again they may refuse to treat you at all!" Health visiters will only refer you to the doctor if you have concerns and as my doctors useless, thats not a lot of help. My kids milk costs £5 a tin and its for lactose intolerance. My doctor thinks intolerences are made up conditions and refuses to put the milk on prescription, despite the fact most of my family are treated for the same condition by other doctors and get it on prescription. Health visiters think lactose intolerences only run in black families, which we're not.I can't change doctors as they are not taking on or swapping patients. My son reacted badly to the whooping cough jab and would have ended up in hospital had I not known what to do. They took it out of his jabs after that, but despite the fact he reacted and my brother reacted, they refuse to take it out of my daughters, so she hasnt had any jabs even though shes 1 and the health visiter even tried to force me to sign a waiver so they would be in the clear if she caught anything. All this being new government guidelines, which means their hands are tied. Needless to say, I told them where they could stick their waiver! Trouble is I cant find anywhere private that does these jabs seperate. Only ones I could find were chicken pox and MMR.Its the tetanus I'm worried about. If you ask me its this labour government putting our kids at risk, but of course its easier to blame the parents isnt it? If it wasn't for parents and their research, I dare say there would be a lot less kids about, because in this day and age we cant rely on the health service, even if we plead for help.

During my first pregnancy I was in a wheelchair for six months in agony with symphysis pubis dysfunction, then got diabetes and had to inject insulin daily for the first time in my life, then got pre-eclampsia, spent six weeks in hospital terrified, had the baby induced 5 weeks early, had a 24 hour labour with two unsuccessful epidurals and major tears, followed by being rushed to theatre with a retained placenta, major post-partum haemorrhage and a blood transfusion. My baby didn't breathe for five minutes (I know many of you have experienced much worse, but I was petrified!) and was in intensive care for a week...the midwives were frankly brutal, they virtually refused to let me see him unless I walked to the neonatal unit - I hadn't walked for six months and was coming round from a general anaesthetic as well as a bad birth. I can't express how badly treated I felt by most of the health professionals I encountered. When I did get my baby home we had breastfeeding problems because of the fact that he had been fed through a tube and the neonatal staff had given him a dummy without consulting me. The health visitor's visits consisted entirely of hectoring about breastfeeding - she seemed so afraid that I might give up that it clouded her judgement on anything else. She barked intrusive questions about lochia and bowel movements at me and juast asked me directly whetehr I thought I was depressed. I said no, just to get rid of her, but it was pretty obvious to amy family and friends that I was overwhelmed. I received no offers of counselling or even a friendly ear to talk about the horror I had been through. I still feel like crying whenever I think about Kerry's birth and its aftermath, and he is three now! I know I could sound bitter and out to blame someone - but objectively I think someone with more maturity and compassion could have helped me.

When I had my second son (!!yes, I'm an idiot!!) he got stuck (shoulder dystocia) and I ended up with another haemorrhage and almost bleeding to death...another blood transfusion etc. I managed to breastfeed him for four months and was very proud of myself, because I was coping with my two gorgeous boys and "doing it right" for them, even though I felt like sticking my head in the oven most of the time. Again, the health visitor could have been a friend. Instead, as ds2's weight started to drop, she became judgemental and basically frightened me - I thought he was going to be taken away from me. He became dangerously underweight, was projectile vomiting and coughing all the time. I eventually rushed him to the surgery one evening to catch the HV before she left. She said "he's underfed" and wouldn't listen to my pleas about his other symtoms. She called upstairs and I was shoved in to see a locum who I had never met before. He interrogated me and accused me of starving the baby. Whe I came dowstairs in tears the HV blanked me.

Anyway to cut a very long story short DS2 turned out to have respiratory synctial virus, contracted in the hospital (!) which had caused temporary milk intolerance. I switched him onto "hungry baby" formula for a couple of months and then weaned him. He now looks like a little pudding! But during the awful period of being summoned to see paediatricians, having him weighed every two days and having tests for cystic fibrosis and leukaemia, while being treated like Myra Hindley, the HV could not have been less helpful.

I still have nightmares about the whole experience and can't help feeling that if I had steered clear of the HV/medics and followed my instincts we would all have been better off. For all the testing and accusations, the treatment for ds2 was "keep him warm, stop breastfeeding, wean him a bit earlier than usual and don't panic"...I would have done all of that had it not been for the breastfeeding mafia and the fear of them taking him away if I didn't do as I was told.

Sorry for the diatribe!! I'm not really used to talking about it )

Some health visitors are wonderful

1st child - assigned hv pretty useless. Ones at Health Centre were lifesavers. Me: gibbering crying wreck. Them: v nice.
2nd child - the loveliest woman ever. Didn't want to let her out of my house. Would have kept her locked up as 'my new best friend' if I could. Contemplated creating issues to get her to come over.

My (ex)HV as I never intend to see her again was worse than useless and her interference made my life pure hell. Even though it was baby No4 and all babies had been slow gainers (enormous at birth but all below average later on)she was weighing weekly. (Bf baby of course- and she's not a mother, also of course.)

She decided my baby was failing to thrive, and I was depressed, neither of which were true. She forced me to go to the GP, and I collected the prescriptions for antidepressants for 3 months, without ever taking them. It was apparantly the only way to convince them that I was not 'denying my problems.'

She orchestrated (with a previously unknown GP) a really nasty run-in with social services over my insistence to breast-feed and my 'high standards' and life was horrendous. I really thought they were going to take my baby away and it was a very very scary time. It was a year ago, but I am sobbing as I write this.

Ironic that I'm now studying for a medical profession. Social services really did enjoy sticking their noses in to a 'non-typical' family, and were fond of pointing out that child abuse takes place in even the nicest looking homes, and middle-class families. (Really excellent advice from social worker was to give him solids - he was barely 16 weeks)

My other children's schools were also contacted without my consent.

When I later got myself together enough to complain and saw my notes, she had written loads of personal comments about how well-dressed I was, or judgements about my relationship with other half, and financial issues which I found offensive and unnecessary.

Then, at 8 month check, when I declined to have DS4 weighed because of all the stress, (and he was quite podgy by then) she and the Dr decided to gang up and threatened me with another social services referral if I didn't have him weighed. (We had finally shaken them off by that stage) The reason? The Dr had never come across a mother who wasn't 'interested' in her child's weight, so it constituted a 'neglect issue.' Direct bullying I'd call it.

Overall, I felt (and still feel come to think of it ) very let down by her, as she had first seemed keen to be friendly. I feel she betrayed my trust and honesty.

I can't imagine I'm her favourite 'Mum' either.

Gosh, it feels good to let it out in cyber space.

People are much more likely to feel passionately about really bad experiences, and take the trouble to write about them though.

I should think most health visitors are fine,as long as they work within their competences. And given the amount of statutory b/f training, most should be referring to the b/f organisations instead of giving crap advice.

And as for the shining angelic ones....almost as rare as rocking horse dung or cosy coupe exhaust fumes.

I live in central London. What's a HV? Is that the inundated couple of people whose tops of heads I see across the baby clinic which was recently reduced from 2 days a week to 1 day?

Oh (((meanoldmummy))), i hope you're feeling OK having had all that come back.

When I used to take my ds to the hv for his routine check-ups she kept going on that he was underweight.She irratated me because he seemed fine to me & luckily I trusted my own instincts. I really needed help with my ds sleep probs but she just seemed obsessed with his growth & didn't listen to me.That hv had left to work abroad-thank God! 1 day the new hv called me aside & showed me that the other hv had plotted my son's growth wrongly from the start.He wasn't underweight at all, it was her error.Also when I took my ds for his preschool check that 1st hv wrote his dob down wrongly making him more than a yr. older than he was & then told me he was 'small for his age' after doing the checkworrying esp as she made these mistakes over a 3 yr.period!

thank you merrybelly, I am feeling much better having written everything down!! It's not only cathartic to see the whole mess from a distance, it's great to hear other people, obviously loving and competent parents, having similar experiences. I feel much less ashamed then I did. Thanks!

My HV is really wooley - my daughter is an 'under average baby who was meant to be born bigger (she was 6lb 9oz born at two weeks overdue), is now 10lb 13.5oz at 8.5 weeks old but when she only put on 5.5 ozs in a week, the HV 'would have expected more from an average baby!' After two weeks of visiting, I was considered ready to take my daughter to be weighed at the clinic - really good timing as winter is about to start.......

Pollybee - have we got the same health visitor? Yours sounds so like mine. Crap.

DS1 woke every hour for 13 months and I was tired, after being convinced to go to the Dr I was prescribed antidepressents - which like you I didn't take.
He didn't gain weight well (none of the babies in my family have & they are all fine) even though he was a good weight when born (8lb12oz). She moaned about that all the time.
She constantly poked her nose into everything.
Suggested DH beat me & that he's got a vicious temper - neither of which are true by the way.
I've got 'issues' as I saw a hypno guy for a phobia - since when did being scared of spiders constitute and 'issue'?
DS1 is deaf - or so she says. The local hospital say not however, but she still says he must be as my mum has partial hearing in one ear which must be heireditary even though her hearing loss is due to measles as a child.
He's got a lazy eye which def. needs treatment, dragged to hospital held him down and had painful drops put in his eyes while he screamed only to be told that no he hasn't and the opthalmist who has seen him since as a precaution say he's got excellent sight with both eyes working together.
He's mentally slow as he ignores her. Odd how he doesn't ignore anyone else and gets on fine at playschool and is at the same level as the other kids.
Oh and last week she said that he was "a certain type of child that just won't fit in with alpha males". WTF does that mean? Stupid B. If she'd been in front of me rather than on the phone I think my pacifistic nature would have been tested to the full.
I've now contacted my GP with a list of probs I have with her and asked to be allocated a diff. HV and that under no circumstances do I want "that woman" near me or my family again and that I want to see a copy of her notes.

My HV is great. Quite happy to come over for a cup of tea when things are a bit rough, but always leaves in time for her next appointment without being too obvious about it. Doesn't criticise, but offers excellent advice, and DOES NOT brow-beat me about my decision to wind up breast-feeding before 6 months. She also isn't afraid to say when she doesn't know something, which gives much more confidence when she does give me advice. Finally, she treats me like an intelligent human being.

I wish I could share her with some other mumsnetters!