Dd wetting herself in ballet - advice needed

[Jaybee]

My dd who is 6 has started occasionally wetting herself in her ballet class. I have spoken with her and she seems to have a real issue with the teacher. Apparently, the teacher gets quite cross with them if they need to go to the loo during the class. Dd goes to the loo numerous times before her lesson but I feel that she is worrying herself into needing to go again (if that makes sense) and then is too frightened to go.
In some ways, I can understand where the teacher is coming from, it must be annoying if they all trip off to the loo - it is only 40 minutes after all BUT it is obviously her attitude that has created this problem. Dd can control her bladder, if she needed to go during an hour long journey she would be able to hold it without problem so I cannot understand why she can't during the lesson.
On the whole, she enjoys her ballet and doesn't want to stop but I am really considering taking her out of the class if this continues - what do you think?

I can't believe that the teacher wouldn't want to help. You could ask her to stop being so dragonish about it and then your dd might stop wetting herself if she's not under so much pressure. It's a ballet class for 6 year olds for goodness sake, not a performance at the Royal Ballet!!! The teacher should just tell them that if they have to go they should slip off and then wait until an appropriate moment or until she tells them to join in again.

My friend used to wet herself in every ballet exam and now she's a professional ballerina I think you need to talk to the teacher, as you say this has obviously become an issue.

Good advice from everyone. I think that your dd has been wonderful not to wet on top of the teacher! I would absolutely speak with the teacher and if it can't be resolved, I would change teachers or classes, certainly not take your dd out of ballet altogether as dinosaur mentioned, so that she won't feel punished. I am sure she just feels so nervous....good luck and give your dd a hug for me! You could put a little panty liner in her panties for security and tell her something like Mommy wears these sometimes too..

Thanks all for the suggestions - the teacher is a bit of a dragon - dd is having an extra lesson each week this term as preparation for an exam at the end of November - maybe this is part of the issue - she had the exam class last night - dh collected her and she had wet herself. The teacher had a word with him and he told her that she only did it because she was petrified to ask. She has another lesson tonight. I think I will make sure I am home to take her (I work full time). We live in quite a small town and this is the only ballet school there although there are a couple of others in the nearby towns. I may enquire if there are any lessons on Saturday mornings. It is a shame as this one is two minutes walk away and so convenient. Well I had better get on with my work so I can get away. Let's hope she is ok tonight.

Jaybee, i'm sorry about your dd, I have a 6 yr old who goes to ballet too. They are "allowed" to go to the loo whenever they want and consequently it is not an issue. I would tell your dd's ballet teacher that your dd must be able to go to the loo whenever she wants to as it is a basic human right. Fear should not be a part of your dd's ballet lessons. Otherwise you may have to find alternative lessons.

Cam - thanks, that's my opinion too. Well she was fine last night - she did say that she had a tummy ache before though. While we were walking over I told her not to worry about yesterday and that I would stay outside the class door so if she needed to go she should just walk out of the lesson and if the teacher had an issue then I would deal with her - dd seemed happy with this. I did speak briefly with the teacher. I told her that while I understood that she would prefer the class not to need to go to the loo, her attitude has caused dd to have an issue with needing to go, I explained that she did go to the loo immediately prior to the lesson but as it was preying on her mind she is needing to go again and that I would prefer if the teacher would not make an issue out of anyone needing the loo. I told the teacher that I would happily stay during the lesson to escort any child to the loo - the lessons are in a leisure centre and the toilets are open to all. She assured me that would not be necessary as she always has a helper who is happy to do this.
Hopefully, me raising this will change her attitude. If it doesn't, I will seriously be looking for an alternate ballet class for after Christmas and I will have pleasure in telling her teacher so.

Glad you did that, JB. Hope it will be alright now. I think adults in charge sometimes forget how frightened children can get of them and how fears grow in their minds. A 6 year old can seem on the surface to be capable of sorting things out for themselves but really they are still such little children.

Not sure if any of you remember this but dd has been fine since this episode - passed her ballet exam (did exceptionally well) and was fine all last term. However, ballet restarted on Tuesday after Easter break and dd wet herself again - she had to come out of the class and be changed (fortunately she had track bottoms that she could change into). Apparently she was quite upset but she did return to her class. I had a chat with her afterwards and she kept saying that it was a 'silent wee' when I asked her to explain what that was she said it was one that she didn't know was coming. Can girls of 7 have problematic pelvic floors? - I am a bit concerned that she has a medical issue here. She doesn't wet herself anywhere else, she does dance and PE at school without any problem but this issue of the ballet continues. I have asked her whether she wants to do ballet with a different teacher but she says she wants to stay where she is - any ideas??