Wedding Advice

[crimbocrazy]

Well DP and I have decided we are going to tie the knot next year after being together 7 years and having two kids we decided to get hitched

Anyway, we are going on holiday for two weeks in Portugal on 18 May, I suggested to get married the weekend before as it will then be sort of like a honeymoon (his Mum and Dad are coming with us and so hopefully they will offer to have the kids a couple of nights so we can have a bit of time on our own).

As the holiday is costing us so much we wanted some ideas as to how to make the day a beautiful one but ideally without the expense, anyone any ideas????

We are going to marry at the Registry Office and I already have my dress and shoes so we are on our way.

Avoid a photographer - get friends/family to do it, but IMO you need to be quite formal about this - maybe fix with one person to take pics of you beforehand, one person to do people arriving at the register office, one person to do 'formal' shots afterwards, etc etc. Slightly risky but if you know anyone who does reasonable pics you can get results that are fine.

If the register office is a bit manky outside, find a nearby pretty spot for the photos

Check with your parents/inlaws if they have any expectations about inviting anyone before you fix anything! you don't have to accept but we found our in-laws had actually promised invites to 10 people without warning us, and we ended up rearranging the whole event to be much bigger - and more expensive. eventually they invited 30 people and still said 'oh x will be so disappointed' when we said there was no more room.

people could do food for the wedding instead of presents?

put the word out about recep venues if any - imo some really nice ones are often a bit obscure/only known to locals. whereabouts are you? one of most amazing wedding receps i have been to was in a room over a pub in dublin. tables decorated with single gerberas in small vases, with multicoloured paper napkins. what made it great was excellent music - could try local music colleges for students.

Presumably after 7 years of being together, you have most of what you need? So, how about instead of traditional wedding gifts, asking guests for money to pay towards the celebration?

I've been to two fab low cost weddings recently.

One of them was in a lovely pub. They had hired the whole thing out (£100?) for the lunchtime and afternoon but we all bought our own food and drinks. They had wine and champagne provided (popped over to France) but we got the rest. They sent a lovely letter with the invitation explaining why they couldnt provide food and including a menu and pricelist from the pub. The mains were only £7-8 each so none of us minded buying our own food. in fact it was lovely because we all got what we wanted and there wasnt any rigmorole (spelling) about set menus and times etc. They got a lovely cheapish wedding cake which a friend decorated. My dh took the photos and they paid for the developing, albums etc. Another friend managed to borrow his managers posh car for the day and another friend did the flowers.

It was such a lovely day, as nice as any expensive weddings and actually really that bit more special cos so many of us had been involved in helping out we all made it extra lovely.

The other great wedding was in a marquee in the couples garden, a tight squeeze but good fun. They got a local indian restuarant to cook 5-6 different curries and deliver them hot and we all dug in. That was great fun and a good way to mingle as we dived for the food table. (we went to one ghastly buffet wedding which was obviously no expense spared, where we had to go up to the buffet table only when our table number was called to help ourselves. By the time we got there it was after the top table had finished eating and already gone for seconds. I was pregnant and sick at the time and very miserable to be waiting so long sat drinking my luke warm tap water)

A wedding will be lovely no matter what budget you have if you have it the way you want it and enjoy every minute.

Thanks everyone, what great ideas!!!!

We live in Leeds and luckily DP's mum works at the local golf club so she is going to see about hiring that for a cheaper price hopefully!!! Although we would have to sort our own food out. We were going to do it before but because of the amount of guests we wanted for the night time it ran into thousands thats why we ended up calling it off!!!! DP would rather have the big wedding but I am not bothered and would like it as quiet and fuss free as possible. He realises though we just can't afford what he would like!!!

We got married after seven years too! We had a late afternoon wedding at the Register Office, the latest appointment they would give - so we just did wedding then an evening do. Saves doing a reception then party type thing.

Don't spend money on things that don't matter: Things that matter (looking back now) are:

Your dress and how you look and feel
Having the people you want there
People having enough drinks and eats so they feel comfortable and happy

Things that don't matter and are a HUGE waste of money in my humble opinion....
Wedding cars - just get driven in an ordinary car or some taxi firms do white taxi's.
bloomin' wedding favours - I really don't need some almonds wrapped in cheap netting
Flowers (other than your bouquet and some for mums or whoever you want to thank)
bands who play too loud for comfort, we just had our own CD player!
DJ's, same as above, use own sound system
Paying a photographer and videographer, video's are so good now just have someone take a home video for you
My brother took the best shots of the day so dispense with a photographer and give a competent friend the job
Think that's about it. Have a fantastic day, hope some of the above applies to you!

If you are doing your own catering and like chinese dishes like spring rolls. prawns in filo etc then a trip to www.wingyip.co.ukwing yip superstore in manchester maybe an idea, they do catering quantities at very reasonable costs.

A way to add decoration and interest in 1 go is to have a theme for tables like sweets, the centre of each table has a bowl full of that tables theme sweet..jelly babies, skittles, pastilles, wine gums and as xmas is approaching many supermarkets sell a helium balloon kit so could add something different to the bride and groom chairs, plain foil balloons and some marker pens for personal messages you can keep.

Have a wonderful time.

oops wing yip here

crimbocrazy - venue sounds nice but do check what they charge for corkage (how much per bottle to bring your own booze) - at my first wedding venues charged anything between £2 a bottle to £8 a bottle.

also if you are going for a formal venue but taking own booze, check on the opening policy - the venue i went to opened every single bottle of wine and put them on the tables - without that we would have had a few left over which would have been nice.

Something that makes a registry wedding veyr special is to write your own vows. There are certain things you must say, but apart from that you can add or modify pretty much whatever you want. Can't have anything remotely religious though, and it must be approved by the registrar ahead of time. We wrote our own vows, and got my mum and dh's dad to do readings, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. It was lovely!

You don't have to get married at your local registry office, so if you want to avoid the expense of hiring a venue for the wedding itself, you could visit several different registries to see whether any one particularly appeals.

can't stop myself now, I love all this! If you want to decorate tables really beautifully but cheaply get cheap plain church style candles - they look lovely, just as nice as elaborate flower decorations. Weave around with cut ivy / greenery and it looks lovely, sort of midsummer nights dreamish, english country style. V Cheap!

Ooooh I wish you lot lived near me, I am just so hopeless at organising things!!!!

These ideas sound fantastic though, I am getting so excited now!!! The plan is to start sorting out after Xmas but I just don't know where to start!!!!

My address was only £80 at Debenhams and its lovely, tried it on the other day, its a bit tight so thats another thing I need to start sorting out my bloody figure!!!!!