Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
PREGNANCY Q &A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A:Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
- Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
- You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
- The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
- Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
- You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-"
- Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
- Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
- You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
- You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
- The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
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Cat's facial expressions. .
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The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
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Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
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Fat clothes.
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Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
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The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
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Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
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Eyelash curlers.
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The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
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OTHER WOMEN