Sorry - rather morbid quesiton for this time of night - but.....

[HRHQoQ]

it's been playing on my mind since DH and I were discussing it the other night.

Basically - how would you feel if you DH wanted to buried next to his mum......back home 1000's of miles away from where you're currently living - and where you'd be extremely unlikely ever to visit again if your DH died???

HQQ cant he be buried with his mum
as the plots next to her may have already been taken

Can't you cremate him here, split him in half and bury half the ashes with his mother and keep half on your mantlepiece?

No, seriously I think you should agree to go with what he wants. Maybe you can choose a place here between you that is special which you could use as a surrogate graveside so to speak.

Oh how cheerful this is!

doormat - it's unlikely that all of the plots near here have been taken - I believe she was buried out in one of the village graves - where generally only people from that village (even if they've never lived there LOL) are buried.

Custardo - it'd probably be cheaper to have him buried out here than to have him buried here. For a start with the exchange rate it'd probably only be a couple of £100's of (if that!) for the entire thing out there, and he's got a very large family - most of who couldn't afford to fly over here (and some even if they could afford it don't have passports.......and they're incredibly difficult and expensive to get these days).

Once my family had forked out for the airfares for them, and the massive funeral costs here, it'd be much cheaper for the small number of us to fly out there (even with the cost of flying a body out there )

Hi all,
This is not a morbid conversation, I just think that most of us are afraid of the subject and its one we will all have to face one day. When my darling Matthew died suddenly we were obviously so unprepared. We didnt have the money for his funeral, and I couldnt bring myself to ask the family, though they would have given it gladly. Instead I went to the bank and asked them if they would loan it me, naturally they did, but it was so awful. None of us know when we may have to face this. I think QoQ I would check on the grave situation first, then you know your options. But a thought is that you could have a cremation here, then fly with the ashes out there and have them buried actually in with his Mum, that happens alot at our local cemetery. Also I don`t know how old he is now, but if he lived say another 30 years he may well have changed his mind by then.

guess the emotional pull back to your homeland is a hard one to lose -- my auntie lived in Oz for over 50 years, had a DH who was buried there and 4 kids and 10 grandkids she loved who still lived there but she asked to be buried back in wales where she was born (and only lived in for 16 years before leaving for Oz) .. inher will she said that she always felt Wales was her home... thought it was quite sad that she felt that strongly about it after such a long time and it was powerful for her not to want to be buried with her husband.. but the family did as she asked and I think they felt happy that they knew they had done right by her for her final wish...