How can I comfort my mum?

[Angiel]

My mum rang me this morning in tears because she had accidentally killed one of her new kittens. She is absolutely devastated and I don't know what to say to make her feel better. She keeps calling herself a murderer and is totally blaming herself.

I'm very upset myself, I can't stop thinking about it. But I didn't get too upset in front of her because I didn't want her to feel worse. I've just had to take my mum to the hospital for a barium enema as well, so that isn't helping.

I don't know what to say to the kids either. Do we tell them the truth or make something up?

Your mum is having a rotten day, isn't she? You can tell the kids that much, at least. Perhaps you could go and see her and give her some moral support. Lots of love.

Oh blimey. If I were in your position I would just make sympathetic 'noises' when she is talking about it, not sure actual words would make a huge difference. I suspect that your mum is worked up about this barium investigation too and so is a little more emotional than she might normally be. She is bound to still be very upset if it only happened this morning, so allow her a few days to calm down. Give her a call every evening and ask how she is etc.

I don't know how old your kids but I'd tell them that the kitten has gone to heaven (or wherever) but I wouldn't tell them that 'Granny did it' IYSWIM. If they persisted in knowing how the kitten went to heaven I would just say that it was an accident and nothing more.

hmm.. i killed my pet rabbit few years ago. all i needed was to cry it out and hug. i don't know about kids- didn't come to difficult questions yet. hugs

A friend of mine ran over her DD's kitten - it was crouching under the car when she set off down the drive. She told her DD (she was about 5) that the kitten had gone into the road and been run over there...your kids don't need to know the whole truth - just that the kitten had an accident.

Hope your mum feels better about it soon.

Oh your poor mum. My mum killed our pet hamster once, we've definitely forgiven her. Me and a friend (well she was driving) drove over, and almost certainly killed, a cat once. My friend is vegan, which makes it slightly more ironic.

I'd just tell the kids there had been an accident, or that the kitten wasn't very well and died (maybe not, they'll think everything dies when it's not well)

Sorry about the kitten, but tell your mum not to feel too bad, my mum ran me over when I was 9.

Thanks for your messages. Things were calmer this afternoon, after I collected my mum from hospital. Since she's gone home though I have become a blubbering wreck, it really has upset me.

We told the kids that the kitten had died but unfortunately my ds overheard me telling my dp what had happened. He seems to have taken it in his stride though and doesn't seem at all bothered.