Help with DD

[katzguk]

DD (3) won't tell us if she ill or hurt, were not allowed to look at let alone treat grazed knees. She's never poorly, even if she glowing red, with snot pouring out of her nose and coughing her boots up.

A bit of back ground i think might be relevent. Her grandma died last year after a short period of being ill and recently her dog died again preceeded by illness.

Now do we just wait and see or do we look into seeing someone about this?

So far shes not been ill with out it being obvious but i'm just concerned if this continues and she has something like an apendicitus she won't tell us.

My DD (4) became obsessed with me dying after my gran died recently. It took me a few weeks of explaining to her that they were VERY OLD and that you only died when you were very old before she finally let the subject drop. If someone had a cold she would panic that they were going to die. It took me some time and a few white lies (i.e we kno its not just old people who die but she didnt need to know that). Try explaining to her about being old, try going to the library for books and if that doesnt work I would get her checked out at the GP. Hope this helps.

thanks - not sure how to do it because her grandma wasn't old 54. She didn't look old either.

There's a lovely section in Claire Rayner's The Body Book about death, it's very gentle and beautifully explained in terms that a young child can follow. It might be worth reading something like that to her just to emphasise that death usually only happens when people or animals are too old and tired to carry on.

thanks for that, might go a hunting.

I'm not sure she understands what death is, but then what 3 year old would. i think she's just scared that if she gets poorly she'll have to go away and not see her mummy an daddy anymore, she's nto said this. We've tried to get her to open up to no avail.

Where did you tell her Gran had gone? We told our DD's that nana was in the stars along with the garndad who died a year ago. They can look at the stars then and the person is still near. Did she have an illness? Maybe that needs to be explained too. Poor you, hope it gets better and DD starts to be herself again. Keep

we've told her that nanny has gone to heaven to be with the angels, and that she is looking after our doggy and her daddy's doggy from when he was a little boy. She seems to like this explanation and comes out with ' i've not got a dog anymore but Nanny's looking after her for me'

She is understanding then. Do you think that this is definately related to nanny and the dog passing away? You dont think it could just be some mad secretive phase do you. They all go through mad phases dont they.

don't know if it will help but there is also a book called Goodbye Mog by judith kerr