Feel like Norma no mates - how do you make mummy friends?

[sweetkitty]

I've just moved into a new area and know no one. I have one DD whos 15 months and am due no2 in 10 weeks! The thing is I'm getting a bit fed up during the day, have searched the net for mother and toddler groups but to no avail.

I'm also a bit erm frightened of going to a new group as they can be a bit cliquey and I won't fit in as generally people make friends when their kids are babies and keep the same ones. I'll also be hopeless at the mum and baby groups as I will have a toddler to contend with too. Feel a bit of a Norma no mates, I really miss my Mummy friends from where I used to live and feel quite isolated right now as I used to meet them 2-3 times a week at least.

I'm usually a confident, outgoing person but feel really anxious about going to groups where I don't know anyone (if I could find some actual groups that is)?

Any advice???

no advice.. i am just the same! even had a thread about it a few days ago!

so erm,.. will watch with interest!

I have made some new friends recently just by taking the kids to the park and chatting to people I like the look of who look similar to me!

Picture Dropinthe sneaking up to another Birkenstock wearer and frightening the life out of her by asking if "she comes here often"?!!!!!

The m&T group I go to has a variety of ages and we are really friendly to newcomers. Have you looked at your gp's noticeboard or church notice boards or the local paper for groups?

You'll do better at mum + toddler groups, you're right, as your toddler will run about and cause problems.

What area are you in? Can you talk to your local NCT branch to find groups? Or look on netmums.com, or ask here?

And if you're normally confident and outgoing, you'll make new friends soon enough, once you're out and about.

Your HV should visit you soon as you are new to the area and she should have some contact information for you re toddler groups etc. I have been there and done that too many times (moved to 4 different areas with young children and know the hell it is before you get to know anyone).

are there any NCT postnatal drop-in things in your area?

otherwise music-type sessions and other group activities can be a bit easier than the all-out craziness of M&T groups (maybe a bit late to do that before no.2 arrrives, but deffo afterwards).

if you go to a few, you'll start meeting the same people at diff things which helps a bit I think.

Not everyone makes friends when they have babies! I lived in grotsville when my dd was born so didn't dare go to any groups . WE moved when dd was two and i started going to a mums and tods group and made friends - yes at first its a bit daunting being the 'new' girl, but if you don't give it a go you havn't got much chance of meeting anyone!

Personally i don't see the point of going to the groups when babies are small anyway, i took dd at two because i wanted her to start mixing with other children, the meeting other mums is an added bonus. I don't do sit around admiring and comparing babies bottoms etc. so wouldn't have enjoyed them when she was younger.

The park is quite good as you can get people on their own! Know what you mean about groups though - they can be really cliquey. I went to one which lasted two hours and no-one spoke to me and I ended up deciding I didn't like any of them anyway as they were too rude to speak - which in hindsight was a bit silly, but I felt really hurt. Couldn't you go to an ante-natal group or post-natal, maybe your HV or midwife could send you in the right direction. Good luck.

the point is to get the hell out of the house isn't it?

Hi, I know how you feel. I work mornings (6am to 9.30am) and find it hard to go to baby groups as they all start in the mornings, and dont fit in with my routine.
I have been on netmums.com and found a group in the afternoons near me, but I feel scared to go go too!!! Mainly for the same reasons.
I just go to my local library where Im hoping to meet people, and go out for plenty of walks to keep sane!
I do sometimes make it to my local mum and baby group, but it starts at 10am - a pain to get to.

Have you checked the "Meet up"s on here?

Have you phoned the childrens info service for your area, they can send you alist of toddler groups, or try some groups like "music with mummy" or jo jingles i made areally good friend there.
Try going to you sports centre to see if they do any tumble tots type activities aswell.
I think when your pregnant people are friendlier towards you ,be brave,hold your head high and smile!

Oh I've no idea. I moved area 3 years ago and in that time I have only made one friend whom I have something in common with apart from our children.

I hate everyone else.

SK did a similar post about 1 year ago - go out, go to cliquey groups, chat, smile, make inane conversation (remember peoples names and their childrens), go to the library, swimming, gym, tumble tots - anything, put a posting on netmums, check netmums in your area, arrange a meet up on here. Get to a group early and talk to the next people through the door. You must keep trying

I have done all this and one year on have a very hectic life - i have not made any friends for life but have lots of acquaintances and friends for ds2.

Where do you live? someone else on mumsnet must live near.

Plus fact your due again is a good converation point!

Wow loads of posts thanks, HV just phoned me and had a go about DD not having her MMR yet! Strange time of year for the park as it's Scotland so freezing and raining. We're in a little cul de sac and although theres other kids they're all school age and everyone else works during the day so I'm the only SAHM. Have tried netmums and NCT but they seem to be non existant in this area.

Will phone HV again and chat to her.

thanks