What do you think I should do...........?!....advice needed urgently..

[mumfor1sttime]

Hi, not sure where to start. I have a friend who has a baby the same age as ds. We met at ante natal classes, so havent known her for long.
I dont agree with most of the ways she treats her dd. She is also very insecure about being a parent (I know we can all be a little insecure or unsure) and it shows - big time, as she is forever comparing between her dd and my ds.
I have done some baby sitting for her a couple of times, but it is becoming a habit and I find it hard to say no.
She asked me today to baby sit next week - well what she actually said was 'I have another date for you to baby sit'!!
I just mumbled that I would check my diary!
What would you do?
Part of me feels like cutting her off, but I feel guilty, Im not a nasty person and dont want to be taken for a mug! AAAGGGH!

can't you trade dates - say oh yes, fine, I have a date for you too...

say 'sorry, no can do'

easy!

I would, but I dont trust her enough to leave him....I feel trapped!

Its not just the baby sitting. She bugs me how she brings up her dd, today she told her off for holding her own bottle!

OK - What's best for you and your DS ?

Big deal if you upset her - blame it on the hormones

I love to baby sit her dd as she is lovely and ds gets on well with her. I just dont feel that I can be best buddies with her.
Today she threw a toy at my ds (not her dd - but her!) My ds was trying to take a toy from her dd and she said 'No, you play with this' rather harshly and threw another toy at him. It didnt hurt him, but it bugged me.

i would be busy any time she suggests meeting up or babysitting. you dont sound like you like her much, will it be a huge loss if she is no longer your friend?

Yep, get busy, go to some groups, make some nicer new friends with babies a similar age to yours and drop this woman like a hot potato, she sounds horrible!

gg - it would probably be no loss to be honest. Guess I feel guilty (god knows why).

caller display is a marvellous invention

gg - we arranged to meet up today at hers for coffee, and she phoned my mobile 3 times asking where I was! I felt like not answering. That is bad!
I just need to get this off my chest. I dont like to 'not like' people and guess I feel bad when it doesnt work out. I think the problem is that we dont have anything in common - except our babies are the same age.

i had a 'friend' like that who i quickly started to class as more of stalker. if you are always too busy for coffee and dont answer the phone she will soon get bored. if you need an excuse you can always tell her ds has started waking up a lot in the night and you are knackered.

gg, thanks for the tip! Will try that next time.

i agree with gigglingoblin, caller display is EXCELLENT! you'll never be happy hanging around with this person,because she's just not your type.wean her off you gently if you feel guilty, make up a few excuses and learn to say NO!! honestly you will feel better in the long run, i know because it has happened to me too.some people are lifes 'takers' and some are lifes 'givers' and you are such a kind and thoughtful person you don't know how to change this situation.believe me , you need to nip it in the bud now before it gets too far down the line to do so.

thanks bubblepop.
I sent her a text saying that I couldnt baby sit and havent heard anything back. Its not that I dont like baby sitting - its the fact that I feel I am expected to! I am weak sometimes, and need to put my own and ds needs first.

be careful because sometimes these people will make you feel guilty or silly for saying no.the truth is that they think the world evolves around their needs and they never sem to put themselves in your shoes. good luck!