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Original poster

Frustrated meeting up with friends

17 replies

Beabea · 31/10/2005 10:03

I am due to meet with a two friends on different days place etc.

How do I make arrangements when sleeps and meals are at different times for our kids. Sometimes my dd has 2 sleeps a day and sometimes just one. I dont want to be awkard so how do I deal with this.

I often feel that if I sort out arrangements around our timetable then we are left sitting around waiting for friends to sort out theirs when we want to play etc. Sorry if this sounds unreasonable.

Cheers

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 31/10/2005 10:10

Can she not sleep in her buggy if she is tired?

cod · 31/10/2005 10:18

Message withdrawn

compo · 31/10/2005 10:23

I thnk if you don't make babies fit around you then you don't get out and about. I made sure ds had one sleep in the cot (say in the morning) and then in the afternoon he had to sleep in the pushchair as i was usually out in the afternoon. If you have more than one you'lll have to do school runs etc and people manage that okay!!

Original poster
Beabea · 31/10/2005 12:34

Sleeps in buggy for all day times sleeping. Indoors where quiet only. Will not sleep if out and about as too nosey. Needs her sleep or else doesnt sleep well at night.

These are day trips out not ones where I can get her to sleep in the morning. She can sleep for 1-2.5 hours in the morning. So its difficult to make arrangements if she is asleep.

So do you all wake your kids when you need to go out? Do you feed them when you are ready?

I find I am frustrated by us all being on different routines and therefore not spending time playing or talking together. So what was to point driving for over an hour to get there? Or trying to find somewhere we can meet that meets all our needs.

Maybe its just me!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 31/10/2005 12:36

put a blanket over the top of her buggy so she can't see out .. so she can't be nosey

face buggy to wall in a corner

how old is she anyway?

Happylocketsthesmiler · 31/10/2005 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stripey · 31/10/2005 12:45

how old is she beabea? The napping stage doesn't last that long I am sure you will soon be able to syncronise schedules with your friends.

Original poster
Beabea · 31/10/2005 13:09

13months.

Yes will sleep in the car but them I get there and friends kids might be sleeping.

Different friends with different situations and live in different places etc.

Im just whinging about a problem that I just have to live with.

thanks all

OP posts:
compo · 31/10/2005 13:17

how about going to local groups and making new friends? What time does your dd nap?

DissLocated · 31/10/2005 13:27

I have similar problems when I meet up with friends who live in Norwich. It's a 45 min journey for me and their children have a slightly different routine to my dd. They always want to meet up when dd usually has her afternoon nap.

I just wing it. I take her out in the morning and let her run around the park for ages to wear herself out and then, hopefully, she has an early sleep. If not, she can sleep in the car. If she doesn't sleep in the car I just cross my fingers and hope she either sleeps in the buggy or at least doesn't become a stroppy madam.

If she does become a stroppy madam, I end the session and bring her home. If I can't face the hassle, I don't go to the meet up. (Like today when the clocks going back have put her out of whack anyway)

8 times out of 10 it's fine and we muddle through somehow. I've never had dd in a strict routine though, personally I'd rather have a bit of flexibility and it's important for you to get out and see people as well.

Original poster
Beabea · 31/10/2005 14:35

I dont want to ditch long term old friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beabea · 31/10/2005 16:29

Dislocated - Thanks its nice to know Im not the only one who feels this way. I guess for the odd occasions that I meet with friends like this I will just have to wing it like you say.

OP posts:
Harrizeb · 31/10/2005 17:00

I know how you feel, had the same problem when I was trying to sort out meeting up with anti natal friends. We all had different routines and when they are that little still you want to stick to what works. DS doesn't always sleep in the car even if he's tired, and I didn't want to be keeping him awake to do things so he'd miss a sleep.

He's 2.5yrs and still has a 2 hr afternoon nap so it doesn't always resolve itself that quickly.

No suggestions sorry just empathising.

H x

fireflyfairy2 · 31/10/2005 17:09

It sounds to me like you are looking for problems BeaBea. I have a friend who has a 2yr old DS and a 8month old dd. When we are going to visit we wait til the 2yr old has had his sleep and the 8 month old sleeps anywhere. However, when we are making plans to go anywhere..she has a phrase. "It won't work!" She says it about everything... to everyone (Incase you thought it was just me she was avoiding ) Like one day we were all going to the swimmingpool (4 of us) all with 2 children each.. mine are 4 and 10months. The other lady's children are 2 and 11 months. We all had arrangements to make for that day.. my friend didnt want to mess up her daily routine for the sake of one day... but I said to her that 1 day wasn't going to make any difference to his usual routine... she moaned the whole time we were away that her son wasnt getting his nap... it would have been better if she'd stayed at home

Not that I'm saying you are like that!!! I'm just saying that some days we have to take it and run with it.. do whatever is happening... go with the flow.. ya know????

Twiglett · 31/10/2005 18:36

Gina ford mum perchance fairyfly??

Original poster
Beabea · 31/10/2005 22:44

firefly I am very much not a Gina ford. I have no set routine. Only that DD has a sleep in the morning for 1-2.5hours and depending on this may or may not have a sleep mid afternoon. I can be quite adaptable within reason. The problem for example occurs when my DD has had her sleep or feed only to find that friends kids sleep after lunch which is when my DD is at her most active.

Like I said earlier, it isnt really a problem that can be fixed I just wanted to know how others deal with it. I am due to meet soon with such friends and I wonder if its worth the journey if my DD doesnt get to play with them?

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 31/10/2005 23:03

Yes Twiglett... does it all by the book

Bea, I wouldn't worry... I'd go and meet the friend... at least you can have a good natter if one of the kids are sleeping

Last week my best mate came to visit me, her 2 kids fell asleep in the car on the way over... she came in and parked at my back door so we could see the kids out my kitchen window.. she had time for a coffee and to hold my son, and even eat a sandwich before one of hers woke up, by that time my 10month old was down for a nap.. so we had 4 kids between us and only 2 met each other that visit!! But we had a really good chat without having to break up arguements between our DD's!!!!!!! LOL

Go and have a good day, play it by ear... and I'm positive you aren't a 'gina ford'.... possibly a stepford?? Aww... I'm joking!

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