What do you think is the best age gap between children?

[maddysonsmomm]

How many years do you think is the best to have between children? i did was 4 years so maddyson could understand the situation more and be more grown, up then again i dont want to go back to work, and have to give it all up again, but i dont want to not work for years,theres no good way! so im stuck between 2 years(which i think is too soon for me, but seems the best choice) upto 6 years! How did you decide?

8 years here. Not exactly planned, just way it worked out. But it's great. Can send eldest on errands now - to shop, to fetch stuff in house. Plus, she adores her longed for sister. Of course, it's about personalities in the end but just wanted to dispel any doom about big gaps. Brothers have 18 month gap - not at all close.

That nice to hear tinker! I am a single parent and I doubt my dd will be getting a sibling for at least 5 years...

I was a single parent too ws, for 5 years, hence the gap.

Going to have 18 month gap between my DDs, under no illusions am sure it will be horrendous to start with but hopefully they will be really close in years to come.

Am going to wait a bit longer after DD2 before thinking about no 3 though.

So far I am finding a 22 month age gap is going all right (although I am only a month into it )

like you mojo I was going for 2 years but mc ended up with a 3 year gap. There are so many other things to consider, personalities of the children, your own situation ... ds has an older brother (dss) with a 12 year gap and they love each other dearly

i have 3 year gaps between mine (3rd not born yet) and it is working very well, dd1 and 2 (6 and 3) play really well together, like similar things but the 3 year old has plenty of time to just be a baby with mum at home while dd1 is at school and dd1 has lots of grown up time with mum.

oh that's good to hear

I don't think there is a 'best' age gap...you go with what suits you for whatever reason.There is 5 and a half years between ds (8) and dd (2).
It works beautifully for us right now...although i am kinda dreading a 12 year old girl and a 17 and a half year old boy

Message withdrawn

I have done the big gap and the small gap. There is a 9 year gap between ds1 (11) and ds2 (2) and exactly 2 years between ds2 and ds3 (10 months) as ds 3 was born on his brothers birthday last year!

There are good and bad things about both. Ds 1 was an only child for 9 years and we could have potentially had major jealousy issues, but thankfully he just adores his baby brothers and we have never had a problem. It was nice to be able to spend time alone with ds2 while his brother was at school, but at the same time, it was difficult to get him into a good routine as I had to take ds1 to afterschool clubs etc, which sometimes didn't finish until 8.30. But we managed. My 2 youngest ds's idolise their big brother and I can see this carrying on into adulthood.

The 2 year gap is also great. I am starting to experience the squabbling, which is a downside I never had with the first 2, but I can also see tha in a few months they are going to love playing together. Ds2 is just desperate for his brother to play!

Not doing a 2 year gap again though (if I ever do it again) as I am tired!! I just tell myself this tired bit isn't forever.

I like three years. Would absolutely love to do another but will be too old (no, really too old not like you whippersnappers who say, oh, i'm too old and you find out that you are 33 or something juvenile like that). Also dh would absolutely not like it. Oh no. As Enid says it lets your baby be a baby. I think 3 6 and 9 are just all lovely ages too.

It'd totally up to you - what you want.

I prefer small gaps so I've got 19 month and 21 month gaps. Bloody hard work in the short term but at least they are all entertained by pretty much the same things AND they are all of to school sooner

I've got a gap of 9 yrs and it is great!

My first 2 are 9 years apart and they don't fight, that has to be a bonus!

The eldest is very helpful at times (Though I try not to put upon him too much) and he plays with his brother really well.

The eldest is very good at making train tracks (I'm not!!)

13 months apart. very glad i had them close to gether.they are now the best of friends.

1.5 - 2

Gdg - I've always admired you for having 3 with such close age gaps. I've found 2 with close age gaps quite taxing sometimes, if I had 3 so close together I am sure I would be in therapy!!!!

13 and a half months between mine and its really hard but I am asingle mum. I do sometimes thinkI can't cope and its hard when they both want a breastfeed at the same time but I'm really enjoying it and they think the world of each other. If you do have a small age gap just don't try to be supermum, I expectthe house to look perfect all the time, but it rarely looks even half tidy! If I get tired and K cries, her big sister cuddles and strokes her and makes her laugh, she also sweeps the floor for me!

no really 13 minutes. its a piece o piss

Aww, thanks hmc - you'd be fine honestly, the hard work is worth it when you see them all interacting together in a little 'gang'! They are so cute together.

Everyone does think I'm mad though!

ok my age gap of 9 yrs was not planned BUT
I had ds unexpectedly at age 22 and dd in new stable relationship 9 yrs later.
The benefits
When I had hyperemesis ds was old enough to walk himself to school/to microwave a meal and to make tea
When dd was born he helped bring wipes/nappies/push prams/find his own socks and knickers/bath himself
Basically another mostly independent little person, dd adores him - he adores her.
My only sadness is that by having no more kids ds could leave home for gap yr/uni in 6-7 yrs time, that means dd will be 9-10 and be an only child. That will be tough....I did actually try to have another close to dd but sadly this has been thwarted.
But aside from that day to day my life is very very happy and calm - ds makes an excellent carer if I'm doing dinner, he can operate the dvd player and pop on the Fimbles for dd while my hands are doing more worthy domestic tasks etc