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Original poster

What a day - now I have just given dd1's friend a strict telling off about biting and tale telling, shall I tell her mum?

20 replies

Enid · 26/10/2005 16:43

dd1 has a 'friend' round they have bickered all day.

i heard them fighting - dd1's friend said 'I hate you' dd1 said 'I hate you too' (). dd1s friend came in the kitchen in floods complaining that dd1 had said she hates her. I pointed out that she also said it, but it was a sillything to say and they didnt mean it.

Then she went back and bit and hit dd1 who thumped her back.

I stood them in front of me and told the friend that we do not bite in this house and under no circs were they to hit each other. dd1's friend blubbed.

shall I tell her mum?

OP posts:

motherinferior · 26/10/2005 16:47

I'd give her your version, pre-emptively, personally.

jellyjelly · 26/10/2005 16:48

yes you should, i would want to know if my child was a biter.

3PRINCESSES · 26/10/2005 16:48

Make a jolly comment about how the day has been a bit of a rollercoaster and get them out of the door as fast as you can.

Then reach for a corkscrew....

MarsLady · 26/10/2005 16:48

Yes. Cos if she tells her mum it will be a different story altogether.

What I normally do is say to the mum... we had a little problem today, but it's all been sorted, I just thought I'd let you know that our DDs have had a little spat, which involved biting and thumping. I had a word with them both and it's over now.

startingtobehalloweenylover · 26/10/2005 16:49

yes... i would. and say that they were both told off for hitting too... so it doesn't sound like you were just picking on the friend!

you don't want her going home and saying you and your dd were mean to her etc etc!

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 26/10/2005 16:49

how old Enid?
no, I probably wouldn't tell her mum, water under the bridge and all that. If she asks you could say that there was a bit of bickering etc, but I personally wouldn't go into details.

Original poster

Enid · 26/10/2005 16:51

they are 5

silly really they are playing nicely now

but I cant be doing with the tale telling and constant floods of tears

she cried because dd2 had a nicer FORK than her at lunch ffs

OP posts:

Original poster

Enid · 26/10/2005 16:52

good words marslady

will learn and repeat verbatim

OP posts:

ScummyMummy · 26/10/2005 17:00

Yes- marslady's words sound wise. Glad they have recovered and are playing nicely now.

MarsLady · 26/10/2005 17:01

That's what happens when you have millions of kids lol

bosscat · 26/10/2005 17:02

oh definately tell the Mum. The things ds1 comes out with about someone telling him off at nursery, if they hadn't told me first what really happened I'd have thought they'd locked him in a cupboard! She needs to know about the biting too I think.

wallopyCOD · 26/10/2005 17:03

she sounds tired =doenst she
i bin playdates that are liek that
ring the muma dn tell her its not working

Original poster

Enid · 26/10/2005 17:04

I almost did

but she's coming in half an hour

I wont do it again, it was stupid really as I would much rather have had a day off on my own with the girls and dd1 is tired anyway.

OP posts:

wallopyCOD · 26/10/2005 17:05

yes more than 3 hours is too long enid

Original poster

Enid · 26/10/2005 17:06

12.30-5.30 a deffo no no

OP posts:

tamum · 26/10/2005 17:19

The only problem with phrasing it that way is that it sounds as though your dd might have been biting too- the other mother is bound to question her daughter who on past form is likely to lie and say that your dd did it first, or something. I would be wary of saying anything unless you spell it right out in these circumstances (sorry ML, you know I love ya )

Original poster

Enid · 26/10/2005 17:21

i think its a given that the 'friend' will say dd1 bit. she told me that dd1 did but I KNOW that she didnt, she never does and she was genuine when she said she hadnt.

OP posts:

tamum · 26/10/2005 17:23

I guess if the other mother believes her then at least you are unlikely ever to have to suffer the misery of further playdates with this kid

MarsLady · 28/10/2005 00:53

I still think that telling the mum is the best thing.

None of us believe that our kids can and do do the things that others say they do.

It doesn't matter what her DD says... she probably won't believe that her darling Jocasta would do such a thing... but at least you head off any accusations that you were mean to her unjustly.

Tamum... if you truly loved me you would accept everything I say carte blanche lol

Earlybird · 28/10/2005 08:08

Gosh Enid - just read this. Sounds awful. I know you posted on the "disastrous playdate" thread, but I had no idea! What happened when the mum came to collect - did you tell her what happened? Reaction?

And, here's another question - are you putting it all down to a bad day, or are you now hesitant about the other child?

Coddy - interesting to know that you sometimes call playdates to a halt. That's what happened to us on Monday, but it was at the child's request - "I want to go home". I was relieved, but don't think I would have called the mum and said "come get her". There's a lesson learned here for me.....

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