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Original poster

dirty child alert

49 replies

lucykatie · 25/10/2005 11:49

we are collecting a friend of dd today, so they can have a play etc.
i have decided to take them to a fun house for the afternoon....but...the kittle girl is always filthy dirty, when i say that i mean snot dried up at nostrils, which is so big its obvious to see by human eye, dirty face and neck and hands.

hair not brushed and clothes which are way too small for her.

i am not a snob and i know kids get into a mess at times but you would think that the mum would give her face a wipe at the very least.

my problem is this, i am embarresed to take her out and could not possilbly wipe her myself and dont know how to handle situation....help.

go on you can beat me up now.

OP posts:
Original poster
lucykatie · 25/10/2005 12:19

no the abuse has been dealt with, it wasnt her oarents, they are decent people, just an event which happened some time ago.

i am not concerned for her welfare, just her cleanliness.

OP posts:
RottenRhubarbWitch · 25/10/2005 12:22

Ok, then close your eyes, breathe deeply, pretend that she is your child and just give her hands and face a good scrubbing. If you do it once, it will be easier to do it again.

Seems a shame that this little girl might miss out on a good time because of your phobia and her parents' indifference. Sounds like she really deserves a break too.

Enid · 25/10/2005 12:24

phobia

i'd be embarrassed too hence the cleaning of bruno

Original poster
lucykatie · 25/10/2005 12:24

think thats the only optio0n....she will not miss out.

OP posts:
RottenRhubarbWitch · 25/10/2005 12:26

Yes but she says that she cannot bring herself to clean this child, "its my own personal demons why i cannot do her face myself, i cant even use other peoples toilets, clean or not....my issue."

Sounds like a phobia to me.

Roobie · 25/10/2005 12:26

... or stick a label on her back "This is not my child!"

Tortington · 25/10/2005 12:31

why can't the kid clean her own snot?

i was face painting at a thing for work on saturday and this manky manky manky - got manky kid came up - hair crawling, snot bulging dried up crusty

and i said to her - go and wash your face.

she came back - i said now go and wash your face properly.

i dont want to touch snot full stop. my own kids - ok i may not puke - but other kids snot - no thank you - and i am not a clean freak in fact i am on good terms with the local rats.

Enid · 25/10/2005 12:32

missed that ruby

Enid · 25/10/2005 12:33

how old custy

Original poster
lucykatie · 25/10/2005 12:37

hey i am the first to admitt i have an issue with cleaning, dont know if you could call it a phobia as yet, but what ever rocks your boat.

just could not clean snot, crusty dried on snot which has been there for ever......

OP posts:
spidermama · 25/10/2005 12:44

Awww, some kids are just really snotty and they're not so uptight as to care like we do. I would just bring loads of tissues, (wipes if it's crusty)bite the bullet and wipe. Don't hold it against the kids fgs!

My ds used to be really snotty before I changed his diet and I wiped it but it came back.

Also, my kids start the day clean and fresh but if they've been outside they always come home minging. Mud on their knees and faces, manky hair, grass and beetles in their pockets, sand in their shoes.

I feel so sorry for kids when I see thier parents or carers fretting about 'dirt' and stopping them from playing freely. Ironically, these are the same parents who use nasty chemicals to clean up aforementioned 'dirt'.

And as for being embarrassed about taking out peoples' children - who cares what other people think?

Enid · 25/10/2005 12:46

I dont think anyone on here cares about 'dirt' - the dirt you get from playing in the garden (otherwise my children would be wholly unacceptable). I do think its horrible to let a 5 year old boy go to school in a filthy sweatshirt with a filthy face and snotty nose and crawling hair.

spidermama · 25/10/2005 12:49

If a child is snotty the snot will soon return after being wiped. Dirt has a nasty habit of sticking to snot.
If by hair 'crawling' (rather an alarmist term) you mean unbrushed, all it takes is for my kids to put up their hoods and their previously brushed hair looks like a birds nest again.

I think kids are beautiful and these grown up hang ups about cleanliness are inappropriate in their world.

There's plenty of time to adopt the social rules later in life when they matter. Little kids must be allowed to be little kids.

teeavee · 25/10/2005 12:51

I'm inclined to agree with spidermama on this one.
This is becoming too much of an issue - I would just wipe off the snot and not worry about the rest.

Tortington · 25/10/2005 12:51

no i meant crawling.

this kid was older - but my premise remains if the kid is over 3 years old it can wash its own face - if not at a sink with wipes.

puddle · 25/10/2005 12:51

I think there's a difference between 'fresh' day to day dirt that is, to me at least, the sign of a child having a good time and ingrained dirt that you know hasn't been washed off for days tho. And agree that snot is unhygenic - that's how colds are spread.

My friend's son used to have really sore chapped cheeks because she wouldn't gird herself to wipe his nose often enough(he hated it) and he smeared it everywhere.

spidermama · 25/10/2005 12:56

Of course he/she can wash its own face custy, but should he/she be required or expected to take the initiative while he/she's busy in the world of fairies or clouds or, well, you get the picture.

Three years olds don't and shouldn't care. We care, so we should wipe.

spidermama · 25/10/2005 12:56

Tip: Warm wet flannels are best for dried on snot removal.

zippitippitoes · 25/10/2005 13:00

What's wrong with getting to the time for getting ready to go out, fill the sink with warm water and bubbles and give them both flannels to take turns to wash use the mirror to show them before and after.

Blu · 25/10/2005 13:05

I don't think you should bath her, because it isn't your place to do that just to go out - but I'm intrigued that people would allow their child to go to the house of someone they didn't trust to bath them!
If DS was on a playdate and they both got soaked to the skin in muddy water (say) or he was sick (heaven forbid, what a nightmare for a host Mum), I would absolutely be happy for the Mum to pop them in the bath!

Enid · 25/10/2005 13:07

dried on snot is grim and as all it takes is a warm flannel I dont see the big deal.

OrribleOliveoil · 25/10/2005 13:09

my personal bug bear is the snot that goes in and out when they breath urrghhhhhhhhhhh, lots of those at my mum and baby group. I try to slyly move dd2 away and fail miserably and come across all Howard Hughes.

Tortington · 25/10/2005 13:13

spidermama you misconstrude my post - i am not suggesting this girls dirty appearence is down to her. of course tis the parents

however when taking about cleaning the face of someone elses kid who has ever growing snot - i would ask the kid to clean its own face.

Original poster
lucykatie · 25/10/2005 16:38

hi, i collected th little one and to be honest she looked fine....no snot!!!

so no problems with it all, they have had a real good time at fun house and they ate there and all was well.

its just when i have seen her at parties, on the way to school etc she has looked bad.

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