am i being stupid

[starshaker]

i have felt really crap for a few weeks now and i know its cos my birthday is coming up. it feels like i have never had a day for just me. i have always had to share it with some1 or just have it ignored totally.

a few days befor i turned 16 my s-dad kicked me out and i couldnt see my mum or do anything.

my 18 i had to babysit cos my parents were going out but my sis got to go to her friends for a sleepover

my 19th was kicked out again

my 21st i aranged and paid for a party but my mum made me let my sis invite a "few" people. i had to miss out some people cos she had invited every1 she knew.

my 23 we went out for a meal and no1 really acknowlaged i was even there

and last year i was 5 monhs pg and just wanted a quiet meal but dp arranged for us to go out in glasgow we had to walk about for 2 hours to find somewhere to eat cos they had forgotten to book somewhere. that night turned out to be for dps best friend dont even think they even knew it was my birthday. it was all night in pubs and clubs i couldnt even drink how did they think it would be a nice nnight for me

sorry for rambling just needed to put it down and find out if you think im being stupid or if i have the right to feel hurt upset and generally crap

.

I think you obviously have had a sad time with your bullying parents and that is horrible for you. But this year you can make it different. Tell your dp that you would like a special birthday this year and plan it & book it yourself. What would YOU like to do, ideally?

So, what do you want to do for your birthday?

I think that you are simply remembering the things that have upset and hurt you most about your birthday.

Time to talk to DP and tell him EXACTLY what you want.

too late there is a meal aranged for the 12th nov there will be 18 people there as its my wee sisters 21st and i said to my mum could i invite a few of my friends and she said it was sis b-day thing and i told her it was mine too but she says a 21st holds more weight than a 25th

youneed to let your DP what you want to do and not expecting him to make his own judgment of what u want. cos you may end up with a blender or soemthing.

seems like your sister is favourite. have your own birthday do later on. with your friends.

doesnt work talking to him i said i really didnt want to go to glasgow but it was either that or be stuck on my own. i really dont remember having a nice birthday

You need to take charge, tell him that what u want to do, cos if youwind up in pubs/clubs again, if you havent told him t isnt what uwant, then u cant blame him, that may be his ideal birthday IYSWIM.

why not book something yourself, tell him where you are going and that he needs to bring his credit card?

Failing that... for his birthday book your favourite restaurant/place and take him there... using his credit card. Buy him some nice flowers and whatever else you would like to receive.

oh yes, buy him a dress, that you like, in your size........ then tell him you are wearing it for him as a birthday treat.

I wouldn't even tell him it was for him. Just buy it, wrap it and when he unwraps it.... wear it!

yeah thats the other bit thats pissing me off he said today i hope i dont have to pay for everything all night

do u kow his pin?

yeah

take his card then lol.

I think you should have a girls night out and sod him personally!

might just do that my bday is the 7th night out is the 12th might have to do something on the friday aswell

definitely take charge of the situation, stand up for yourself and tell your dp what you want to do for your birthday. Tell your mum and sister that that is what you are doing !!

Send your sister a birthday present, arrange for a girls night out with your friends, leave dp to babysit. Oh and tell your dp what he is getting you for your birthday, what's more pull it up on the internet and make him buy it for you. Above all have a fab birthday......

No more advice but sympathies. I'm a big kid about my birthday and have often missed out on big celebrations too. My dh actually knows how important my bday is to me. This year we had nothing big planned because I was about 27 weeks pg. We were still up at midnight the day before. I observed to dh 'it's 3 minutes past midnight' and he said 'so it is... the news is on in a minute' he hadn't got me a present either. grrrr.

You are not being stupid at all. Some people just don't think. The unfortunate thing with men is unless it has football, beer and nights out with mates stamped on it they won't acknowledge it at all!!

Put a banner up in your house saying 'Happy Birthday to me on (and the date) leave it up all all week. Leave notes in his diary, mobile phone, lunch box etc! Stick pictures of what you want on his pillow! Make it obvious or if that fails go away for the weekend with your girlfriends and enjoy YOURSELF!!!! Have a good one anyway. Let us know how it goes.

Message withdrawn

hes actually bought me something already its a facial, massage and manicure for the night out. just need to get something nice from dd