Christmas - should we stay or should we go?

[DinoScareUs]

Seeing as we're on the subject of families, Christmas etc, I wanted to ask for the views of the Court of Mumsnet.

Last year, we were planning to go to my parents' house in Yorkshire. Then my brother, who was then in Afghanistan, announced that he was coming back, but that he didn't want to come to Yorkshire, he wanted to go to my parents' house in Ireland. My parents immediately decided that they would therefore go to Ireland. I persuaded DH that we should therefore go too, which we did.

The previous year, we stayed in London - I invited my parents to come and visit but they turned us down, without seemingly giving it very much thought. I was rather hurt at the time, but didn't say anything.

The year before that, we went to Yorkshire, and the year before that, we went to Ireland.

This year DH is very very keen indeed that we should stay at home in London for Christmas. I would quite like to, but my mum has asked if we are going to Yorkshire and I feel a bit bad about saying no.

Do you think I should put loads of pressure on DH to go up to Yorkshire, or should we just stay at home in London - bearing in mind that most years recently we have gone to my parents?

I'm with your dh on this one - stay in London, it seems like it might be his turn to get to do what he wants this year.

Stay at home. Particularly as they have previously declined an invitation to yours...so why should you feel awkward in declining an invite to theirs?

It is tricky isn't it?

We lacked the backbone to simply stay at home so we booked Disneyland Paris for Christmas to give us a reasonable alibi for not having parents to stay or vice versa. We've had them for as long as I can remember, and it's not easy since I detest my father.

My much older (51 year old) brother does not appear to have stepped in to offer them a Christmas invitation instead despite the fact that he has never once had them over during his married life (he has 4 childred aged between 15 and 25, so they haven't spent Christmas with those grandchildren either). Dare say despite him not filling the void he will still walk on water in their eyes...

Stay at home! Speaking as someone who feels obliged to travel this year having spent the last three years at home. there's nothing quite like being in your own house and doing things your way - not to mention missing the holiday traffic...

Stay at home.

I'm refusing to travel over Xmas for anyone. My outlaws live in London (we are in Manchester) and I know they'd love us to go down there for Xmas. I don't know if they realise but the answer will always be 'no'. I'm not trekking down the M6/M1 over Xmas with 3 children and there's no room for anyone to sleep anyway.

I want my children to go to sleep on Xmas Eve in their own beds - we go to Crib and Christingle as a family too which I love. I want them to run down to their own hallway on Xmas morning....

There is no place like home at Christmas for me and if I were you I'd do the same!

I'd also join in on the stay at home idea.

hmc - my Mum has that with her sister. Mum and Dad have had my grandparents for Christmas (Mum's parens) for as long as I can remember (and now we have the bigger house it's my turn for the next umpteen years!!). Her sister never has them over at Christmas - she is on her own with 2 grown up daughters so there's no excuse. It's pure selfishness imo.

I don't mind having them over mind you - I think they like to see their great grandchildren anyway.

Stay at home.
I've even told my (lovely) family that it's just us four this year.
I'm thoroughly fed up with travelling, packing,entertaining,shoppnig and cooking.

Your dh deserves a say this year.

oh god the whole christmas thing. I have just got off the phone with dh about what we are going to do about my outlaws. they live in south wales and are the most indecisive that god ever created. the mil is also one of the most passive aggressive creatures you've ever met. lots of sighing and on occasion out and out crying about her lot in life (loaded, besotted with dh, huge house, always travelling, 5 horses - aint life bad). we've asked them to come to us. no don't want to. so we have to sort out when we are going to them so they can see their grandkids. why is this my problem????????

Oh god, you're all making me want to stay home this year too. I'd almost decided to go North but am wobbling now.......

bosscat - please tell me you aren't going to go there instead?! If they want to see their grandchildren let them damn well travel!! Grrrr..

we have had xmas at home every year since the kids were born - I remember my brother saying it was too much hassle to drag the kids out -- and he was right