Neglected pet - oh the guilt (Anyone else?)

[AussieSim]

I've had my cat Monte for 15 years. Poor thing has been dragged around every move and has been a trooper and fantastic company. I brought her with me here to Germany even though it cost a motza (is that an Aussie expression?). But since I fell pregant June 2002, the poor thing has hardly had any affection from me (though she certainly gets fed etc), as I wanted to be absolutely sure that ds wasn't affected. Then I brought ds home and didn't want to share my hands between the two of them and be washing them every 5 minutes (they were dry enough after 2 weeks in hospital being washed with alcohol before and after ever feed/change). Monte noticed the difference and went missing for 4 days.

Now she is getting older though her health is starting to go down hill and I have been guilty of delaying trips to the vets for the reluctance to take ds with us. The icing on the cake was that she got badly beaten up by a big nasty Tom cat this week at 3am in the morning (so unfair a it was right in front of our front door) and she went into shock and looked in a pretty bad way, but I still didn't want to get ds out of bed to take her to the vet in the middle of the night (home alone). I called dh - poor bugger - and he managed to talk the vet into coming to the house by exagerrating the extent of injuries, but the next morning I had to take her to the surgery and again on Monday.

The poor thing has gone from 5kg to 3.35kg. Whenever dh complains about her I remind him that I have had a relationship with her longer than him, but ds absolutely comes first with me and the poor old thing is really suffering. She still loves me and follows me about the house sitting down nearby wherever I am. The next big shock for her is going to be when ds starts crawling, which I expect in the next couple of weeks. Has anyone else been through this? Any advice or ideas would be great.

I've been through this Not much help to you but we left our cats behind with a neighbour when we moved house 18 months ago. They weren't happy around the children and in fact the younger cat was simply terrified of them. I don't think DS1 realises there were 2 cats we saw so little of the younger one.

Make time for Monte when DS has gone to bed. Also, once DS is crawling, there is absolutely no need to be washing your hands after handling the cat - DS won't wash his hands having rubbed them all over your carpet and he'll be eating cat food in no time (DS1 did! I stopped sterilising stuff around that time too ) Sit DS next to the cat and hold his hand to stroke Monte, saying "gentle" all the time. This will teach him to be gentle with the cat and get the pair of them used to each other.

And a final cheering tale - if you can't face taking the cat to the vet with DS, imagine taking 2 cats and 2 DSs when you can't park outside the vet! It's a challenge, I can tell you

we have 6 cats,of varying ages,all of whom we got before ds came along.obviously when he was 1st born i didnt leave him alone in a room with any of them,but that was about it.3 of the cats adore him and 3 of the cats stay out of the way of him(we dont have a massive house,2 up 2 down.)although i obviusly put my child 1st,our cats are v important to us all,and my ds has only been affected positively by having the cats.i dont think your baby crawling will be a problem,i cant see why it should,we feed the cats am and pm,no food is left in bowls on the floor,water bowl is up on the side.i have never had any hygeine probs,i can truthfully say my house is cleaner than most people i know,theres no catty smell either.i took on the cats and they deserve to be well looked after.my son first came to the vets at 2 months old,in a taxi as we had no car,and has been many times since,i think people get a bit hung up on "dirty animals".there is such a massive problem with unwanted cats where we live ,all of ours are rescued cats,but if you cant look after your cat as she needs then it would be best to find her a new home,wouldnt it?I would offer but we are full to the brim,i have a friend at battersea and i could ask her if she knows of any rehoming places in germany?i must add that if my ds health was affected by the cats eg allergy ,asthma,or being attacked obviously i would put him first.

im sorry,my tone was harsh,i didnt mean it to be at all,im not v good at these postings!i think soupdragons ideas are great,your baby will love having a pet im sure,and with tlc your cat will enjoy being loved by a littly.i could find some nos to rehome tho if u wanted.

I was going to post something similar to Yoko. We have always had cats - way before the children were born - and I have had no problems introducing children to them The only thing I changed was stopping the cats going into the bedrooms as I didn't want them hopping into the cots/beds when the children were tiny - although as I write, our older cat (5) is curled up with DS1 (5.5) on his bed.

My children have a fabulous relationship with our cats (have 2 - ages 3 and 5 - both rescued). Our previous 2 cats (rescued) both sadly died - one was run over, and the other lived until the age of 17.

Basic stuff I do is stopping them walking over the kitchen work surfaces - although I always wipe over them before preparing food anyway just in case. Food is normally gulped down so was never messed with by the children when they were younger (mine are now 7,5, and 3).

With regards to vets visits, once a year they are vaccinated - before our old cat died, he was very poorly so I was regularly at the vets - and this was with 3 children in tow quite often!

My children do come first obviously, but I decided to offer 2 cats a home, and I owe it to
them to ensure they are well cared for.