Dp's ex keeps on dropping his stuff on the doorstep

[Carmenere]

Long and complicated story here. Dp filed for divorce 2 years ago, it hasn't happened yet. Ex is in house with one of the kids and her partner (she says he doesn't live there, kids say he does). Dp pays mortgage and lots of his stuff was in the loft, he felt it was ok to leave it there until divorce comes through, when the house will more than likely be signed over to her. Til then he feels he has a right to store his stuff in the loft as we (dp, me, his 16 yr old and dd 19 months) live in 2 bed flat. For the last 3 weeks she has (or her boyfriend) been dumping his stuff on the doorstep of our flats. Last week she did it when it was torrential rain and it all got ruined (expensive and rare books). Shes just done it again, what do you lot think?

bump

She sounds bitter. Rent a small storage unit and move all his stuff out ASAP then she won't be able to do it. Not taking her side just trying to think of the easiest resolution. Also gives you the moral high ground. Did he leave her for you? sounds like she's bitter about something.

She is really bitter and yes he did leave for me in a round about way but the pettiness is going on for so long (3+ years). I think you are right about moving the stuff out but dp wont 'cause we are smashed broke and he pays the mortgage. I think he should just completely ignore it as I think she is looking for fuel to what is by now a very small fire.

It sounds like she just can't let go. You'd think that if she had met someone else she'd have moved on - perhaps they are having problems.

Have you spoken to CAB re her new partner living in the house - they may know someone that he can reduce his mortgage payments?

If your DP isn't bothered about her doing this then I would just ignore it and rise above it - she'll probably get bored that she is putting in so much effort and getting no rise.

Do you have a friend that could store some of it for you?

got to agree, get his stuff out of there asap.

Presumably the fact that he pays the mortgage is actually his contribution to their children's care, so he needs to stop thinking the house is his because he pays the mortgage. It's not. Where he stores his stuff is his problem, not his ex's.

Sorry to be a bit blunt. Agree she's not exactly being contructive about it, which has got to be a pain.

Dh left stuff behind when his x asked him to move out. He left with his clothes one day and someone else moved in the next day. Before he'd had chance to sort out alternative storage she'd sold what she could. He left his dog there too as the children adored him, but his x kicked the dog out to roam the streets and he was picked up by the RSPCA and rehomed. Dh was heartbroken.

I'd say if things are acrominious then get his stuff out of there pdq. It isn't his home any more, so I can see why she wouldn't want it there, but she could just asking nicely if he'd move it.

Phillipat, they are not yet divorced, it is still 50 percent his house and damaging his property on purpose amounts to criminal damage.

I agree he should get his stuff out 'cause I just don't want her or her boyfriend anywhere near my house. What gets me is the fact that she is dropping it round bit by bit. If she genuinely was trying to get rid of it she could have dumped it all in one go.
I think she is doing it everyweek trying to get a rise, I suspect that her relationship with her boyfriend was fired by hatred of my dp and that they are running out of steam. It's like she defines herself by being the wronged wife (that's in her very warped perception) and that once the divorce goes through she won't have anything to cling on to.

Sirfurmum - what a cow - women really let themselves down sometimes don't they?

sorry, I'd assumed given they separated more than 2 years ago they would have separated assets by now. What's holding it up? Does he pay maintence on top of mortgage?

Yes Phillipat it should be well sorted out by now - she has prolonged it as long as possible. They are in mediation atm and the decree nisi was issued ages ago, so it shouldn't be too much longer. He was paying maintainence for the first 18 months but we just couldn't afford it anymore and she doesn't pay any maintainence for her son who lives with us. the silly thing is that she will be getting a perfectly fair 50/50 split of everything and it will all be sorted soon. Yes there is bad feeling but she seems to want to perpetuate it even though there is no reason to do so.