Work : playing with the big boys (and girls) - SCARED!

[spacemonkey]

I am starting a new job soon and it is the opportunity of a lifetime ... but i'm scared s**tless!

This is the first job i've had where i'll have to play with the big boys ... the clients we'll be dealing with are HUGE and as we are starting a new department up from scratch we won't have a buffer in the form of a guru manager to help us.

Up until now I've tended to be a backroom girl, and any client liaison has been with small fry companies on the whole ... but in the new job i'll be doing lots of meetings and business development. I guess being chucked in at the deep end is going to sort me out one way or the other, but any tips/advice on overcoming the fear would be MUCH appreciated!

Hmmm, how to feel the fear but do it anyway........ dunno!! Just go for it girl - you know you're capable really. It's only fear of the unknown you're scared of not you own abilities. Puff up that chest and take a deep breath and say to yourself 'I can do this'. If something comes up that you don't know the answer to just bluff it until you do. Always works for me.
Good luck hon' - you'll be just fine.
Lots of love TC xx

awwwww thanks TC!

when in a meeting with the likes of BP i could always try imagining them on the toilet as I'm sure someone else suggested on another thread

Hey Spacemonkey, don't worry about it. I went from a small company with piddly clients (on the whole) who had no proper Proj Mgt methodologies and I just muddled through to be honest to a really big company with scary huuuuuge clients, had to PM stuff that was way over my head dealing with people who KNEW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT!

OMG it was scary for a bit, but I find that I learn best when chucked in at the deep end and left to get on with it. Just had my first proper review and got lots of gold stars and a big tick, so am feeling v positive and happy.

Just think of how much you will learn and what pride you will get from it.

My top tips,

No 1 by a long way, don't be afraid to say that you don't understand something or don't know what someone is talking about. People are always happy to explain themselves and rarely expect you to know it all. Also, this is how you LEARN! Look at toddlers, how many qs do they ask a day and how fast do they learn?

2. Don't be scared to say that you don't know the answer to something but that you will find out and get back to them (but make sure you do!)

3. Gently remind people that this is new to you from time to time so they don't forget

4. Get a great haircut and some sharp clothes. Looking the part is some of the battle certainly.

5. Try and appear relaxed and confident even if you are a jelly inside, that is the other 90% IMO. If people think you are confident of your abilities they will feel safe in your hands and relax and the whole process becomes a pleasure not an exercise in tooth extraction with no lignocaine!

HTH and good luck! When do you start?

(this is SamboM with new name btw)

Hi Spacemonkey - probably not on the same scale as you but i deal with the like of major blue chip/property management/project management/Construction companies on the phone every day.

I speak to the likes of BP, Nelson Bakewell, Johnsons Controls, Balfour Beatty, Bovis Lend Lease etc - I obviously do not have to deal with these people face to face but i have to speak to them when they are in their best frame of minds sometimes.

I know this isn't much help but i just wanted to say that the fear isn't of being able to do a good job it is the fear of not knowing - I'm sure the first few meetings will be hard work and nervewracking (sp) but just think, once you've done 3-4 it will just become a way of life!

Sorry if not much help

great advice CountessSamboDrac - job starts 1 October GIBBER!

Good luck matey! What is the role (if you want to say.)

thanks jemma7 - it's weird, but i am absolutely fine on the phone and can talk confidently to anyone, but it's when i have to walk into their swanky offices and talk to them that it gets difficult. I've heard other people say this and I'm the same ... i feel like a fraud who is gonna be found out at any moment!

(and then all the nasty men will point and laugh at me)

we (there's 2 of us starting together, so that will help) are starting a web development department for an information management co.

Spacemonkey, everyone who has ever had a job that is vaguely interesting has gone through that feeling. I still feel it frequently. I think "my god I'm telling the Chairman of British Gas how to run his company and I've only got 1 'O' Level and a RSA1 in recorder and I got thrown out of school, flunked out of university and smoked loads of strange substances" etc

(ok not quite that underqualified but YKWIM)

DH is forever thinking that someone will find him out and take away his praciticing certificate!

spacemonkey, countessdracula - what do you two do? just being nosey

Project Manager/Business Analyst for big software house.

What do u do Katierocket?

used to be a project manager for smallish new media agency which I enjoyed. Before that worked in PR which is what I've returned to now as it's easy to do freelance and is therefore more flexible.
bet you wished you'd never asked now!!

Hi spacemonkey, I know that thinking-the-job-police-will-come-along feeling too. They never did come for me and I finally accepted that I was good at my job and they weren't going to get me even if there were an identity parade one day. I used to work for a blue chip so here are my tips FWIW:

• Remember that all the people in these big companies are just like you and me really. They had to apply for their jobs and prove themselves in the same way you did. They were new people once too and presumably they want your advice/help? Pretend to yourself that you're very confident. Keep telling yourself that you are and you know you're going to do a good job. It won't be long before you actually are* and realise that you're not having to put on an act any more because you've somehow just relaxed and become more confident.
• Re meetings: Prepare, make sure attendees know the agenda and come prepared to discuss it, make sure everyone knows who is chairing the meeting and what the objectives are, choose someone to take minutes and to be responsible for distributing them (but make sure you get to see them first), take lots of deep breaths, smile, be friendly.
• Completely agree with SamoboM's advice too - but especially the bit about being honest if you don't understand something, especially at the beginning when you're not expected to know much. People will be happy to explain.

Sorry, I don't know if some of that is very basic or patronising, please do tell me to bog off if it is, just that you said you were nervous about meetings but sorry if it's all obvious. I do remember the first time I chaired a meeting and everyone looked at me to get started and it was scary but you do get used to it and the minute you explain the first agenda item very often the person/department responsible will pick it up and start talking about it. You can always ask them to to get things going. Good luck and congratulations on your new job!

See Spacemonkey - we're all bluffers!
I go to every meeting thinking I'm going to found out!!!! I deal with Entertainment in Video biggest co. in their field, Universal Pictures, Warner Music and huge companies (or they seem so to me) and so far I've blagged it well as I'm sure you will when you need to. When I don't know what the hell they have just said to me I either say 'absolutely' or 'yep, yep' or say 'not sure actually but let me get back to you on that'. I feel stupid at first but on those occasions other people have said to me 'what the hell did he mean by.......'!!!! No-one out there really knows what they're doing (well not all the time)!!!!!

good advice www

Here, Here! I agree with all on this one. I worked for AT&T for 20 years (started when I was 10) and now I work for Avaya as a Voice Network Engineer (one of those IT folks). All the advice below is great..I wish I had heard all of that when I started out! Don't be afraid to be vulnerable as others have said, ask lots of questions, your people skills will get you through it all. People are always attracted to good, positive energy and love to work with others that are willing to get the job done and respond quickly and with high integrity. Meaning, always keep your word and do you best to be on time in case others have issues around time and find it "disrespectful" if you are late. You know, the keep your commitments stuff that Mum's are great at naturally. The best of luck to you!

Do you have toastmasters over there? It is a group of folks that get together to deliver speeches and get over the fear of speaking in front of a crowd. I, of course, never went to a toastmasers tmeeting myself (too scared). One of my former assignments at AT&T I had to teach folks how to use a voice mail systemevery time I would begin the class and they would all look up at me, I just couldn't breatheit would take my breath away. I still get nervous, but the repetition and my familiarity with the material got me through the situation. When you are on the phone, you can project that you are composed because they can't see you, I guess that is what feels safer about it. If you have time in the next month, maybe check to see if they have something like Toastmastersit might take the edge off of being in front of people and projecting composurewho knows?

WOW - thank you EVERYONE for all the advice! I don't know if there's a toastmasters thing here, but I've seen public speaking courses which I think might be a brilliant idea because it does make me very nervous to have to speak to a group of people.

It's so reassuring to be reminded that I'm not the only one to have felt like this - thank you

just enrolled on a 6 week public speaking course at my local adult education college - thanks for that suggestion sunchowder! i think it'll really help me because i have to reluctantly admit - i'm a little phobic about the whole speaking to a group thing i reckon if i can crack that i'll be fine

hi spacemonkey

haha! i'm stalking you this evening!

just wanted to say that there is some excellent advice here, particularly from cd and www - completely agree with you two on this!

also, think thomcat's comment "feel the fear and do it anyway" is very appropriate!

i've just started a new job with lots more responsibility and i feel quite scared too. i did go out and buy some smarter clothes - you need to "arm" yourself psychologically, imo!

if you don't mind me saying so, imo, you sound very switched on and conscientious - you'll do just fine!

good luck!

cackle @ stalking BK

thanks for the good luck ... i am taking all this advice on board (what would i do without mumsnet?)

Never worked in big corporate world as I am merely a primary school teacher ... who used to be responsible for all the drama in my last school ... but I LOL at the 'Job Police' and being found out. I remember being told once that I was the best teacher in the school and I nearly laughed out loud! I was convinced that one day someone would work out that I drank/danced/sh**d my way through uni and can't remember one thing about any of my courses and that really I didn't get that degree ... it was all an illusion! I was also good at talking the talk and walking the walk if I had to be!!
BTW ... I have always produced my best efforts when under pressure and terrified so SpaceMonkey you will be FINE!!
Good luck schweetie!

I worked in Management Consulting for 7 years, last job as a HR Director for Asia Pacific. Dealing with the big boys (the internal perspective) I always found the biggest risk was not playing the politics right. The way I found not to put my foot in my mouth (which is my natural posture) was to listen listen listen till I figured out where everyone was at - who hated who, who was out to impress, who was a straight-talker, who had control of the bucks, who made the decisions, who would make good allies etc etc.

I also completely agree with all the other posts about looking the part - the whole first impressions count - dress like you've already got your bosses job etc (handbag and shoes in particular as well as pen and gadgets, mobile phone, palm-pilot).

And take heaps of notes in a respectabe looking dark hardcover A4 notepad with dates and names - comes in very handy for possible ar* covering required later. If u don't feel confident taking notes during meeting than make them directly after.

Find out what your bosses expectations are right away, in a detailed way so that it is perfectly clear later that u did a great job.

It sounds to me like you will do really well. All the best!