I sell on ebay when I am trying to raise cash for a special purcase, at the moment I am trying to raise enough for a wedding outfit and have managed just under £200 this week.
I agree with Pixiefish that your picture isn't selling your item, you need a plain background, lots of people seem to photgraph on a laminate floor, i do that or use a white rug or sheet. Just means the viewer can focus on your item. I don;t think you needed all three pictures as you only get the first free. So I would have had one full length and if there were details I wanted to pick out I would have added a photo of that. The picture you have taken on the bed is not a clear view of the dress is 12p wasted, although your bedding looks very nice!
I also never use subtitles although I do use the fancy borders, I particularly like the theme park one. I don't know if it makes a difference to sales but I know when I am buying I tend to sometimes view such listings as more professional, assuming they have taken care with the advert they will have taken care of the clothes and therefore perhaps may bid more if the advert is attractive. Daft maybe but if I think that others may think the same. I also hope it may make my listing stand out.
I do like your chatty style in the listing though and ow you describe the clothes. I try and take a similar approach, and as others have said state if your home is pet/ cigarette free as this will make people feel more confident about bidding on your item.