Anyone tried family mediation, and how can I arrange it?

[ninah]

Splitting with p but in stalemate cos he won't talk to me at all. He nows says he will in front of someone so I am hoping to find a way forward through mediation. We have 3 year old ds and another on the way soon. Any practical advice greatly appreciated.

Oh Ninah, I'm assuming that this means that yesterday didn't go well. I'm so sorry.

You may have already looked into this but here is the link to the relate website which may help as they offer mediation.

Hope you are doing OK. {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

we didn't even have the blooming talk george, he just won't. Thanks, I just found that, I'm going to send him the link here goes for another rejection but I feel I owe it to ds to try to avert some of the acrimony.

I'm so sorry Ninah, is that because he is assuming things are over already or is he just being cowardly?

Hopefully someone will be along who has some experience of this and how to make the best of the situation for your DS.

I'm really sorry to read this, ninah. .

My ex and I did an entire divorce through a mediator. MUCH cheaper than going through solicitors.

Our split, however, was quite amicable and although it involved property it did not involve children.

Mediators can handle splits involving children, though.

Please see the Relate website. Also, try your local CAB to discuss legal representation.

Ninah DH and I used a mediator a first it didn't go well (if I'm honest at first it was my fault) But about a year on it worked really well my DS was the same age as yours and he came with us sometimes. We both realised that that small boy was going to grow up and when it came to getting married etc that he would want us both there IYSWIM. We both agreed to be friends and eventually for back together but the whold process took 2 years to sort. It should be alot quicker should your DP be more cooperative than I was.

god thanks expat. I thought you were going to tell me to pull myself together or something. Thanks so much. I didn't realise relate did mediation originally but found their wsite this morning and I've send him the link. He wants things over AND he's being cowardly george. He just can't face up to his behaviour and is blaming me for everything to the extent he is taking revenge by cutting off his son.
I don't want to end up with such hate. I know I can bring up our children but I don't want to tell them their dad disowned them

Give it a try! If he doesn't want to go, then go yourself. At least it will help YOU deal w/what feelings you have, and that in turn will help your child no matter what.

If he goes along, hopefully he'll soon realise that even being civil to each other is SO much better than being hateful.

You can't control his behaviour, but you can control yours and be proactive about seeking resources to deal with the feelings YOU have. That's why places like Relate are there.

Hope you get through to them soon!

I will ring them at lunchtime
manic in our (open plan) office. Makes sense - thanks! when you most need your head to be clear your emotions are being ripped to pieces. I'll go whatever.

ugh ninah, I'm so sorry. whata berk you p is being, and how grown up and sensible you are being, good for you. massive cyber hug to you and sending a cuddle for bump and ds too,. like you need this on your plate now. I'm sorry.
think expat is dead right, you should go on your own if he decides not too, then, not only will you get some counseling and help when you need it, but later should he try and say you never did anything to help him see his son, you can have 'proof', an outsider who says actually you did. hope your family are helping you thro this and being supportive?
anything I can do ever just say so.