kids and adult nudity

[steppemum]

My dh and I always sleep in the nude, and our ds (2yrs 10 months) often comes in to our bedroom and climbs into our bed in the morning when he wakes up. I have never been bothered by this, on the contrary I always thought a relaxed atitude to bodies helps them to be relaxed and is quite healthy. But since dd was born (now 7 months) he has become pretty obsessed with gender differences. He asks lots of questions when I breast feed, and even pretends to feed his teddy. We have had some very funny/embarrassing moments when he asks visitors "do you have a willy?" (ie are you a boy). I know all of that is quite normal, but I am beginning to wonder if the time has come to start wearing a nightie. I am a bit reluctatnt to do this (feels like a sad moment for our marriage)
What do you do? What age do you think is appropriate? Is it just the opposite sex parent that should start to cover up or both?

I think it's whatever you're comfortable with. It's normal at this age for children to start noticing and being obsessed with gender differences - I wouldn't necessarily see it as a trigger to start covering up unless you want to. I certainly wouldn't think it was necessary at your son's age.

My dd is almost 4.5 and both dh and I still sleep, and walk around at times, naked - I don't think I'll worry too much about it until dd feels uncomfortable with it.

Personally I think its perfectly natural for him to be interested especially when he has only recently got a sister.

My dd was a bit younger when ds was born but she was facinated too and did the embarrasing questions bit. She also pretended to breastfeed her dolls.

Not sure if there is an actual age as such when you should start to cover up. I think children generally let you know when the time is right by becoming embarrassed and wanting privacy.

My ds is 6 and sleepwalks into our bed in the night. If he is in there when we go to bed I wear a nighty but it doesn't seem to bother him that I don't usually.

Ds1 is now seven and I feel that he may be a bit embarrassed/shy (although he's never said, but I have noticed a kind of bashfulness) about walking in on us when we're undressed. So now if he comes in before I'm up, I just ask him to pass me my nightshirt or whatever I'm going to wear. Dd is 5 and still takes little notice.
And you're right - all the questions he's asking are perfectly normal, so do what you feel comfortable with.

My children are 7 and 3. We still sleep in the nud. We recently had my friend and her 2 children to stay and did the same. I just kept a dressing gown close and put it on when they were about.

Yes we have had some interesting and embarrassing questions and comments. However they are just asking the questions that come into their head. Its mine and my H recaction thats important.

After getting out of the shower the other day I was told by my 4.1 DS that I looked better with my clothes on.....charming!

Wow, quick responses! Glad to hear we're not the only ones who sleep in the nude. Thanks for your input. Sorry about all the typos, I must learn to preview (too lazy)

His latest is to ask all the women he meets "Do you have boobies?" I think he has seen quite a few breastfeeding mums recently.

When my DD was going through the realising the differences stage she once spent an hour long car journey asking "does xxxx have a willy? what about xxxx? so does xxxx have one?.....etc etc until I think she had listd everyone we knew including neighbours pets

hornbag - that is SOOO like ds. After playing with a little girl at Mums and Toddlers today he asked me all the way home if she had a willy, and of course combined it with his other favourite question Why??

Looking at your first post steppemum itcould have been written by me (except it is dd 3 and ds 9 months). DD went through the phase of breast feeding her dolls etc too. Only last week I wasinthe embarassing position of waiting at a crossing next to a very posh looking woman and her rat of a dog when DD looked down and siad "mummy do boy dogs have a penis?" (a perfectly acceptible question for a child who is growing and learning but still makes you cringe and trip over your words).

ds looked at the calendar today, I've just turned it over to October and the new picture is 2 giraffes. "LOOK" he cried "the giraffes have nipple!"
Mind you, breast feeding the teddy has now progressed to the teddy sitting in his toy buggy next to dd in her bouncy chair at dinner time and teddy was also being fed dinner with one of dd's weaning spoons. Very sweet.

To go back to the original question though, I seem to remember a previous comment on a thread about how opposite sex nudity is inappropriate after 3. It came from a book, and I wondered what you think. Is there a point at which it becomes inappropriate even if the child isn't uneasy? I just don't know and I find myself one day thinking I should start covering up, and the next day thinking it is ridiculous. I can't remember what my parents did, my mum is always freezing so she sleeps in thick pyjamas, bed socks and a hot water bottle! But I think we saw them in the nude a lot at various times.

I think at the end of the day you have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you feel self concious you'll pass that on to the child, and likewise if they are uncomfortable about it you ought to cover up. Obviously it varies with children what age this may occur and is dependant upon your attitude (probably as a result of your upbringing). I wouldn't say there is a magic age at which it becomes inapropriate.

its all a case of what you feel comfortable with.
i personally dont like the idea at all. but the questions you say he is askingare all complely normal, whether you sleep in the nude, or completely covered.
its up to you to teach him the boundaries of whats acceptable socially and whats not. so that when he is five or six he doesnt goround asking people to flash for him.