Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What do you think about this?

32 replies

anorak · 05/10/2005 15:46

Yesterday when another mum and I were walking along the footpath in front of our school with three under 5s walking along in front of us, a mum parked her 4 x 4 two foot onto the grass verge inches from them. I asked her if she thought it was a good idea to bump up on the kerb right next to the children. She replied that it was just fine, that we mustn't upset her daughter whom she was unloading from the car and that anyway she'd waited at the zebra crossing for us to cross. We said well that's what you have to do, doesn't mean you can endanger our childrens' lives. We argued a bit, she just wouldn't agree there was anything wrong with what she'd done, so I invited her to discuss it with the headteacher with me, obviously she declined. Five minutes later I saw her complaining loudly about us to another parent with whom I'd previously been on nodding terms. Next time I saw her she didn't return my smile.

I thought well I'll let it lie, but just now as I walked towards school to collect my son the 4 x 4 woman was standing at the gate with two others and accosted me saying, 'are you going to have a go at all the other people who've parked on the verge then, or is it just me?' (there were 3 cars btw). I reminded her that three small children had been right next to her car when she'd carelessly performed her manouevre, but she tossed her head and flounced off while I was still speaking. She walked up to the mums of my class (her kid isn't in the same class as mine) and stood right in front of me gossipping with 3 of the mums it's taken me over a year to get friendly with.

I'm wondering if she's going to bad mouth me all over the school, she's doing a great hard done by act and I feel quite upset about it. I don't know whether to ask the head to put out a letter regarding the issue of careless parking outside the school - a child was knocked down at the end of last term. But I don't want to descend into a petty squabble as I think sticking to the facts is always best. I just don't want to dread the school run every day.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 15:51

I would DEFFO ask the headmaster to put out a letter! Someone's child could be injured or killed by this cow's behaviour, which is also illegal. I'd also contact the council and ask if a traffic warden might be available to monitor the area for parking violations.

As for those other mums she gossipped to, if they're the type who think it's all right to behave like a total bitch and have no regard for other peoples' kids, do you really want to be friendly w/them?

Mum2girls · 05/10/2005 15:52

I think you were perfectly reasonable - she sounds like a very arrogant with a big mouth.

Whilst I was coming to the end of the 2nd para, I was thinking that you should ask the school to put out a letter about the parking - so there you are.....2 minds and all that.

I would just continue to smile/nod/say hi to all the parents as you would've before.

edam · 05/10/2005 15:54

Agree with Expat. This woman is a selfish bully who obviously realises how wrong she is - you've caught her on the raw by taking her up on her behaviour and she doesn't like it one bit.

overdraft · 05/10/2005 16:04

that is really bad what the other parent is doing she sounds like a bully.With bullies though people often nod and agree even when they don't for some reason.That might be the case here.They won't think anything less of you and perhaps agree with you

As for asking head for a letter i think it depends on what is more important to you.Getting on with other parents or getting your own back on the woman.Personally i would drop it for now otherwise all the other parents will know that it is down to you and this could make you feel uncomfatable I.Y.N.W.I.M .
.Maybe ask the head in a couple of months to write a letter.I am suprised the head hasn't already anyway.Are your children o.k now

Lizzylou · 05/10/2005 16:14

I agree with Expat, she sounds like an extremely arrogant and self centred bully who when caught out in the wrong got all defensive...honestly, sounds like she should be in school herself.

I think waiting a few weeks and then speaking to the Head is a good idea, that way it won't look like you're being vindictive.
Hold your head up high, you've done nothing wrong, keep nodding/smiling to those you always have done and the awkwardness will disappear...

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 16:24

Sorry but if another child has already been knocked over by people driving up on the verger I think it's something the head needs to hear about NOW, bullies or 'friends' be damned!

Next time may result in a child being seriously injured or killed.

Safety is more important than being nice and letting things lie.

It's illegal for a reason, b/c it endangers peoples' health and safety.

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 16:24

I certainly don't want to get my own back on her. I don't know who she is so if I went to the head I wouldn't be able to identify her anyway. I just thought a general letter might help her to understand that it's dangerous to park that way.

He does put out such letters occasionally anyway, but even a child being knocked down hasn't seemed to get through to some people

I guess it might be construed as vindictive if I did ask him to though - sad isn't it, that I can't stand up for my child's safety without looking like a bitch, whereas this woman can do what she's doing and seemingly anyone who argues about it is going to be victimised.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 16:25

It also sounds like, since the child was knocked down at the end of last term and we're only weeks into this new term, the head REALLY needs to get a grip on this before someone is harmed.

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 16:36

Things are further complicated at the moment because there are massive road works right outside the school, width restrictions, diggers everywhere, temporary traffic lights etc, and it's mental to even try and park there.

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 05/10/2005 16:41

I certainly wouldn't be worried by other mums being taken in by her gossiping, if they are, you're better off without them! I always like to make my own mind up about people, not listen to tittle tattle and even if I thought you'd been OTT (which I certainly don't!) I wouldn't be snubbing you.

It sounds like you hit a nerve actually.

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 16:43

Then this cow should try walking. Otherwise, it's HER bloody problem if there's no place to park her land yacht, not some poor innocent kid she runs over w/her vehicle.

HemlockLGJ · 05/10/2005 16:46

ROFL @ Land Yacht

Got to be worth a letter.

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 16:47

I totally agree with you expat. That line about not upsetting her daughter by asking her not to knock our sons down really gave her personality away, don't you think?

It's very tempting to tell her what I think of her but not really constructive. It's always better to sound calm and reasonable and stick to the facts isn't it? Even though that is hard sometimes. But I don't want her to think she can intimidate me.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 16:53

Look at it this way, anorak: What if you hadn't been there, standing high enough for her to see over the bridge and realise people were on the pavement? She'd have hit YOUR CHILD. So the hell w/being worried about her bullying!

I wouldn't bother confronting her, go straight to the head w/your 'concerns' - calmly and rationally, of course .

How about a small letter to the local paper? Or a quick email to the council about showing their concern for the welfare of the town's children by posting an extra traffic warden during this 'chaotic' time?

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 17:01

She isn't intimidating me one bit, don't worry about that. I'll do whatever I think fit whether she carries on or not. In fact the way she acted today made me feel more inclined to do something - I was thinking of letting it lie before that because I thought she might have taken what I'd said on board but had argued with me out of embarrassment, but what she said today knocks that theory out.

I have to speak with the head anyway this week because of being in charge of the walking bus next week. I guess that puts me in a position of responsibility regarding road safety that should help get me listened to so I'll mention it then.

Thanks expat and everyone for reassuring me that I wasn't overreacting.

OP posts:

overdraft · 05/10/2005 17:13

sorry anorak i didn't mean that you wanted to get her back .I meant that is what she will perceive it as

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 17:15

No problem overdraft

OP posts:

overdraft · 05/10/2005 17:16

Good luck

tallulah · 05/10/2005 17:19

What happened to the other mum you were walking with? Did she join in the argument or scurry off?

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 17:21

She joined in. Well two of the kids were hers.

OP posts:

skinnycow · 05/10/2005 17:26

where does everyone park normally? was she parked illegally?

Original poster

anorak · 05/10/2005 17:30

No, she wasn't parked illegally. My main concern was the bouncing up onto the grass verge because it's part of the footpath.

Ordinarily a few people park outside where there are no lines and it's fine, but the roadworks make the road much narrower than usual and more congested and complicted. That was her excuse for going up onto the pavement.

There isn't much parking right next to the school so most of us walk if we can, and when we don't we try to park in a nearby street where it's safer and walk part of the way. When I told her that she just sneered and said 'Good for you'.

OP posts:

skinnycow · 05/10/2005 17:32

edgetop · 05/10/2005 19:33

something simler happened to me before summer hols,i was walking on pavement with ds holding his hand,he was on the inside, when a 4x4 mounted the pavement so fast i pushed us both into a garden ,igave her a dirty look & carried on walking. as we got to school she was behind me so i quiteley told her she scared me to death.she just looked at me as if i was crazy, she told me she was in control all the time,& just walked off. now i see her she looks away & makes me feel guilty.

skinnycow · 06/10/2005 06:46

surely any car would have the same effect edgetop?

Flip

1 2