I have a phobia about going to the dentist - help

[emily05]

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment and it will be my 3 year olds first dentist appointment.
The dentist insist that I have a check up and then my ds.

I am terrified. I have no idea why I am so scared of dentists, when I think logically it is silly. How the hell am I going to get through a check up with my 3 year old watching and be calm?

has anybody got any tips to hide stress?! What happens in a check up (havent had one is so long I have forgotten)?

help!

also - how often should a toddler vist the dentist? thanks

I have a phobia about this and have only been able to have my first checks in a lot of years by being prescribed a small amount of diazepam first. Basically a check up is that the dentist will check all your teeth and condition of your gums and call out various things for the assistant to note down. S/he might give you some tips on flossing or something or let you know what treatment you might need in the future.
In your situation (as it's tomorrow) I would advise you to call ahead in the morning and explain your nervousness and that you do not wish your child to see you stressed as obviously you want him/her to feel ok about going for check-ups. They might say you don't have to have the check up (long shot?!!) or at least they will know how you feel and they might do what they do with me, which is go very gently and not poke around with bits of instruments unless they really have to. They also give me an appointment first thing so I'm not hanging around waiting too long. Maybe an idea for the future?
There are some herbal calming tablets etc but I don't know if you have time for these. Maybe you will have to adopt an 'overly cheerful' mood in order to mask your nerves. Also you could get into a really interesting conversation with your child or someone in the waiting room, or concentrate on a magazine article or something to take your mind off it?
I know this is easier said than done - it took me years to pluck up the courage and part of the reason why I did it was so that I wasn't in a hell of a state for pregnancy/raising a child. Remember why you are doing it and it might give you the strenth you need.
Good luck, I'll be thinking of you.

Oo another thought - is there something you can give him to keep him occupied JUST BEFORE you go in, so it keeps his attention? Or will he be fascinated with what's going on? Might be worth a try also.

I'm sure the dentist will advise on frequency. It's a long way off for me as my DD is only a few months old. I may ask DH to take her to dentist as I really struggle (am supposed to be making an appointment now for a filling but haven't summoned the courage yet - and that's just for phoning to make an appointment!!)

I've always hated the dentist, due to my bad teeth needing lots of visits and the fact that the anasthetic doesn't work on me.
I find that if you tell the dentist of your fears they are very sympathetic.

I once had two rows of crowns fitted without pain relief. What fun that was!

I had hypnotherapy for this

Very expensive

But I had a major filling last week without any sedation

I have a fear too, but took dd 4 a while ago and found how amazingly brave i was just for her, dentist was very good too though tell them your fear. good luck xxx

Children generally start to be seen around 2-3 years & going in with the parents is the best way to get them used to us (I'm a dental nurse). Then they should be seen every 6 months, unless advised otherwise.

Tell the dentist/nurse how you feel & agree a signal (raised hand type thing) for them to stop when you fell uncomfortable. If your ds is nervous then suggest he just stands in front of the dentist rather than lay on the chair. Please do not say that it will not hurt, children don't asssociate things with hurting until it gives them pain, or until we introduce the idea that it might.

The dentist & nurses are fully experienced with nervous people so do let them know & they will help you through it. I strongly advise AGAINST having a child in the room when having a filling/other work done unless you are a confident dental patient. Any adverse reactions from a nervous parent could put them off for life & this is what is usually the cause of phobias in the first place.

Just realised that you may not have seen this before your appointment, (thought you posted today).

I hope you got through it ok & feel confident for the next visit!

Thats great advice Melissasmummy - I did that when I took my DD and it was fine.

Thankfully, I believe the days of the "butcher dentist" types are long gone !

MamaG...don't believe it! I have worked & heard of some real terrors!

I used to work with dentists that have just qualified & honestly some of the things I saw! One woman managed to cut a patients lip, burn another patient, leave a patient with a drilled hole in a tooth (planned to fill too many, was running out of time & "forgot" one tooth) refused to remove an impression tray (for making crowns) from a patient who we suspected was having a heart attack! I was in the room & I had to take over, usually the nurse runs for the oxygen, first aid kit, other help, but I had to tell HER to do it & I had to remove the impression because she refused as it would ruin it!

Thankfully, I have heard that this woman now teaches, doesn't practice. She had a great mind & absolute clear knowledge, but put into theory, she just couldn't do it (I could have done better) & they say "those who can't, teach" best place for her!

Thankfully, this was just 1 woman, but the butchers are still out there!

P.s I am sorry if I have upset any nervous people! These type are few & far between & you will know instantly if it doesn't feel right!

eek!

Right, I'll just let my teeth rot from now on.....only kidding, my dentist is great and I'm a total wuss, he's lovely!

I'm a dental nurse as well and have worked for some wonderful dentists and unfortunately some not so nice ones. I think they forget that they need a good bedside manner as well as doctors, its usually us nurses that provide all of the customer service to patients.
I've been taken my dd ever since her 1st teeth came thru and she gets quite excited now...I still have to be dragged in tho!
If worried about your lil one getting scared one of the nurses or receptionists usually can distract them with stickers! works for some adult as well!!

thanks so much for all of your replies. They really helped me.

Update. the dentist was really nice. she saw ds first and he took it all very well and seemed to like the chair. He was extra pleased with the nemo sticker she gave him for being a good boy!
Then it was my turn and my mum took ds out, so luckily he wasnt there when the dentist saw me.

I had dodgy gums (with ulcers on apparently! and gingervitis (sp?) so the dentist gave me all these injections in the bottom of my mouth to numb the area and used this silver thing to clean uder the gums. it was horrid.
My gums havent stopped bleeding and it was yesterday morning, she also gave me some antibotics. I have to go back next month for a filling - god help me! and I paid £55 for the privilage.

still - at least it is being sorted and ds was fine and then I wont need to do it for another year!!

Racers - I totally understand where you are coming from! make the appointment and get it over and done with. I wish I had sooner. The things we have to go through!!

Thanks for everybodies advice. might try hypnosis next time!

emily05, well done. Hopefully your ds won't have sensed that you were tence & he will be fine.

Hope the dentist recommended a good mouthwash & floss for those gums! (sorry, can't help it with the dentsl thing!)