Neighbourly argument

[HondaDream]

I live in a samll village in Luxembourg but there are other English people, we don't socialise as we have nothing in common but we are polite and say hello etc. Our kids go to the same school.

So what would you do /say /react if above mentined neighbout (father) said "I would appreciate it if your children called or asked in advance to see if they could play" (My kids had been riding their bikes around and saw the kids in the garden so played. I see nothing wrong with this he continues "it wasn't convienient on Sunday for them to play" So I said you should have sent them home and he said " BUt we didn't want to disappoint our girls and we couldn't supervise them so they messed up the playroom and bedrooms and it was mainly your girls...

Me being the twit I am got mad and said fine then my girls will not come around again an he said yes just cut all ties why don't you

I am not argumentative but why did it come to this. Come on you lot give me some wise words.
Is he wrong for not sending my girls home or should I have called inadvance considering they live 30 seconds around the corner

um i dont see why he couldnt just say to your daughters that it was inconvinient and could they come round another time. You maybe over reacted a little but that sometimes happens when someone says something hurtful to you about your kids. Maybe try and have a chat about it to clear the air for your kids sakes

Considering that you live in a small village with a small population of English people, I would apologise for losing your temper and invite his kids around to play. The reason being that although he is undoubtably a twat, if your girls enjoy playing with his kids there is no need for them to lose out. And you get the moral high ground for being the bigger person.

He was wrong for not sending the girls home if he felt that he couldn't supervise them.

I have no problem telling the kids across the road the same thing if we've got something on or just want a family day, and I would expect others to say it to my kids too.

'Didn't want to disappoint his girls...'! What a prat! I am always saying to mine, when they appear at the gate with a neighbourhood entourage, that they can't have such-a-body round to play at the moment because.. whatever.. (rooms needs tidying.. we are going out in twenty minutes.. early night tonight.. you have homework etc etc) What an odd thing to say!

I would have lost my temper too, sadly. I rarely engage my brain befoire mouthing off, sadly! However, agree with what the others are saying.. I would now make myself go round there and say 'look sorry I over reacted the other day.. of course I don't want to cut any ties.. but you really should know that my children are quite able to handle being sent home when it's not ok for them to play.. and I expect yours would have cope with it too.. children should understand that it's not always convenient to play at other peoples' houses. But in future I will of course check with you first..'

How can he then be stroppy? Weird man..

um .. sorry to be a pain on this one but really I think you should teach your children to ask if its ok first to play (I don't know how old they are).. knock on the door and say is it ok if we play with xx .. its common courtesy

there are few communities where children become community property and it works really well when they're just in and out of everyone's houses but if any of the parents don't like it it can be intrusive and fairly irritating

personally, as you live in a small village, I'd suck it up and go and apologise for losing your temper and then say you will try to teach them to ask first but in future he should have no qualms in future in sending the girls home (acting in loco parentis)...take him a bottle of wine or something

you need to get beyond this

he sounds like a control freak

But I thought Honda's kids just joined the other children who were 'playing out'?

Actually I can't see how the children (any of them) got the opportuity to mess up any rooms in the house.. if it wasn't convenient, the parents should have shooed them all back out again.. and said 'just a few minutes on your bikes girls.. remember we have to do (such and such)..'

kids dont ask though do they, if they saw them playing out they would just join them if the mood took them. it was up to him to tell them they were doing x,y and z

iremember my friends getting sent home, regular siometimes if we were being naughty. i even used to get my boyfriends sent home

maybe the kids should merge their PDAs to prevent any clashes? or get an agent.

don't get this 'kids don't ask' thing personally .. they do if you teach them to and it is expected of them

You in Luxembourg, surrounded by folks from Luxembourg. I wouldn't let one English twit get to me. I wouldn't apologise for anything - there are plenty of other people for your girls to play with.

He sounds like someone I wouldn't want my kids associating with anyway - too uptight.

kids will be kids - if he can't/won't handle it, then frankly thats his problem - no point in having a go at you after the event.

intresting thoughts folks, my kids were passing and they were all in garden so would have said can we play so I have decided he should have been big enough to say no and if he cannnot handle disapppointing his girls then he obviously has issues there. I have decided to apologise for my outburst and tell him his children are welcome at my house but I shall tell my kids they canaot play at thiers as they obviously made too much mess

BTW you have all mademe feel better. Thanks

I am sure that your kids would have asked to play. If he couldn't say no sorry not today girls rather than upset his children well more fool him. If on the other hand your children did make a mess well he should ask them nicely to tidy up the mess they had made. Come on who is the adult here! What a prat being ruled by his kids!