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Original poster

opinions on stair gates please

18 replies

compo · 03/10/2005 13:02

My 17 month old ds has just learnt how to climb the stairs. We live in a 3 bedroomed terrace, fully carpeted so the stairs are not extremely high or windy etc. So far we have no stair gates. Ds climbs to the top when he likes really, although we are aware of him doing this and usually watch him, or follow him, but not every time iyswim. So far he hasn't attempted the downward journey. What I want to know is, are we being very irresponsible if occasionally he makes his way up when we're no watchig him, do we have to have stair gates, my aprents never had them and we all survived.... What do people think about this? Or do you all have horror stories of broken limbs, cracked open heads from litle ones falling down stairs?

OP posts:

Zephyrcat · 03/10/2005 13:06

I've been wondering about this too Compo - our ds is 16 months and often will disappear and we'll find him in one of the bedrooms He's never attempted to come down although I'm scared one day soon he's bound to try...and fail! So am thinking of getting a stairgate. Hmmm...... will be interested to see!

nailpolish · 03/10/2005 13:06

we have a stairgate at the top of the stairs, so that i can let dd2 crawl about upstairs freely, while i do things such as put clothes away, run the bath etc

we dont have one at the bottom, i just keep an eye on her (as much as poss) or i just shut the door to the hall (although dd1 opens it)

when dd1 was little she climbed up about 5 steps then tried to sit back and fell down, but she was ok (in the end) so i keep my beady eye on dd2

charliebat · 03/10/2005 13:11

Put one up at the top, at some point they will try to come down and do you REALLY want them falling that far smacking their head on every step?
I still trip down the stairs sometimes and so do my kids, and dp..its not worth the risk.

gigglinggoblin · 03/10/2005 13:13

ds2 fell down the stairs once. then he got up and climbed them again straight away so i dont think the experience upset him too much. however for ds3 i have 2 gates which keep him out of the kitchen and away from the stairs. they are not necessary but useful so i can nip to the loo or put the washing out while keeping him contained. another use for them is bedroom door when he gets a bit bigger, they stop them sleepwalking down the stairs

beetroot · 03/10/2005 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 03/10/2005 13:15

We don't have a stair gate and have an 18 month old - BUT, there is a mini landing half way down our stairs which would break any fall, so the maximum number of stairs he could fall down is 5. If we had the traditional staircase of 11/12 consecutive steps I suspect that we would have a stair gate.

mixed · 03/10/2005 13:22

I wasn't too scared about them falling down whilest trying to go downstairs/upstairs. Howver, dd just happened to stand at the top of the stairs when I walked towards her. She thought it was a nice game and took some steps backwards. Unfortunatley, the stairs were there. She fell all the way downstairs, bouncing and turning. Horrible, allthough she was OK afterwards.
I put up a stairgate after that...

iota · 03/10/2005 13:26

I always had one at the top of the stairs as ours are straight. Just used to keep the doors to the hall shut downstairs though.

IME they are also very useful for keeping children upstairs at bed-time if they keep getting out of bed

auntymandy · 03/10/2005 13:26

I dont have a stairgate, but my stairs are in the hall and I can shut the doors. I have always taught my children how to come down stairs before they learned how to go up, iyswim.
When I lived in a house where the stairs were in the room I had a gate,and also one house had a huge landing where the kids could play so I had one there too.

Donbean · 03/10/2005 13:32

We have a stair gate at the top of the stairs and at the bottom.
We put them on because as new parents you take every bit of advice so seriously dont you, we felt pressured into it really.

However, when ds was just walking, i was in the bedroom putting away ironing chatting to him when he had dissapeared out of the room. When i looked out, he was stood at the top of the stairs, looking down.
I cant tell you how i wanted to vomit when i saw him stood there. In the blink of an eye he could have gone and i think, would not have got up again from such a fall. Even with carpets.
I am now so so glad that we have them. He is 2 now and i dont put them on unless friends are visiting with little ones, then the bottom one goes on.
Its just not worth a fall IMHO. But you are absolutely right in what you say about your parents never having them, you are all ok.
Im sorry but it would be "just my luck" for some thing awful to happen so i take precautions.

dot1 · 03/10/2005 13:55

Hi - we had stairgates in our old house when ds1 was a baby/toddler, but due to lack of competence more than anything, don't have any stairgates in our current house!

ds2 is 18 months and has been making his way up and down our stairs for months. We've let him learn but insisted he comes down backwards. To be honest the only time he ever slips slightly is when he's going up and he loses concentration! Coming down is much easier - he kind of slides!!

I'd do whatever you feel comfortable doing - and I think it depends on the child. Ds2 is an adventurous little thing and will quite happily go up and down without anyone being there - and we're happy with this. Ds1 was much more nervous as a small child and wouldn't have done this - and so I suppose learnt later how to get up and down.

Hope this makes sense!

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 13:59

We have a gate at the bottom of the stairs and one across DS's bedroom door. But we have no hallway and no landing (doors open onto a small patch of carpet at the top and it's laminate, a doormat and a radiator at the bottom).

The stairs are very, very steep and have solid walls both sides, plus there's a tight turn in them where the step goes to a point. I've nearly fallen down them several times, so there's no way I'm chancing 18mo DS on them by himself.

NotQuiteCockney · 03/10/2005 14:01

I read somewhere, that generally, if a small child/toddler falls down a flight of stairs, they generally don't even break a bone. (I guess if you have marble stairs/floors or similar, it might not work that way.)

We have a big flight of stairs, 8 or 9 steps, landing, another 8 or 9 steps. We have stair gates, but I mostly don't use them. DS2 is 1 now, and can go up well, and still hasn't worked out how to go down. But he's sensible and cautious, and seems to be ok. (DH uses the stair gates all the time, though. I'm forever trying to get past them while carrying a baby, laundry, etc etc.)

MaloryTerrorTowers · 03/10/2005 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 14:04

Depends on your flight of stairs though, doesn't it?

If I had shallow steps with a couple of landings, a nice long hallway with soft carpet at the end, etc, I'd think differently. As it is, if DS fell downstairs, he'd bounce off brick walls and into a radiator and the front door. I'm keeping my gates, I think!

Lucyfercat · 03/10/2005 14:05

Just wondered why you would have 'windy' stairs? holes on the landing maybe? ........ just me being illiterate!!

We just had one at the top of the stairs for a while as dd2 is an extreme sports enthusiast and liked to try to fling herself downstairs!!!! they went by the time she was 2, so try to borrow some rather than buy!

ScreamEagle · 03/10/2005 14:07

I also hate them but have one at the bottom of the stairs to prevent ds3 following the older kids up when they want some peace in their rooms. Also as dh works nights it confines him to downstairs but when dh is off I sometimes leave it open.

One also on his bedroom door to keep him in in the mornings!

Original poster

compo · 03/10/2005 15:49

sorry, it's 'windy' as in 'winding' as in wynding' - aarrgghhh, hate words with 2 meanings!!
Glad no one has told me I'm an awful parent. I'm still leaning towards the Beetroot, Dot amd MT school of thought. But I know if he fell I would feel soooo bad. Have been trying to teach him how to climb down backwards but to no avail so far

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