Is she a mean mummy?

[TwinSetAndPearls]

We took my dd to a soft play centre after nursery on friday as a treat. When we got there my dd spotted a few friends from nursery so started playing with them.

I joked to my dp that the St *mums get everywhere as there seemed to be a lot of them in the centre. We then realised that there was a party on from one of the girls that was in dd nursery last year - she started primary this september - dd goes up next year.

I said dd could play with them -as she knew most of the kids from either church or pre school last year. I also went to chat to some of the mums I knew as a few of them had been at dd birthday party the previous weekend and I wanted to thank them for presents and helping out.

I realised then that the party was for a girl whose mum for some reason has taken a bit of a dislike to me. Nothing ever been said but she tends to blank me and look down her nose at me. But I said nothing and smiled at her and made a joke about gatecrashing her party. She said nothing.

Obviously when they went into the party room for games and foods I didn't let dd go in.

When the kids came back out to play I heard the birthday girl say to her mum " isn't it great (my dd) is here. To which the mum looked us both up and down and flatly said "that's nice but don't you think you shoud play with the people who are invited" All the kids from the party were then given juice from a big jug provided by the centre and the Mum then said very loudly "Don't give any to that child she is not invited"

DD has just asked me why the birthday girl's mum told her she wasn;t allowed to play with her friends.

have I entered the world of party politics.

I asked dp if he thought the mum was being off with me and he agreed and said he thought it was because dd had such a big party the other week and her daughter wasn't invited - only because they are not at pre school anymore and I couldn't invite every child dd has ever known - we had 35 as it was. However many of the kids at this party were also at dd's party and they were talking about it and dp said she seemed a bit pissed off about it.

I am not staying awake at night over this and it isn't the end of the world but just find it a bit sad as there is such a lovely atmosphere between all the mums at school, I don't want this spoiling.

She could have been a bit friendlier though, the miserable sow!!

Actually, I would have let your dd join in, including the food. What harm does it do? her dd was obviously happy with it.

I didn't let her join in as you pay per head at these places so it wouldn't be fair and I don't know the woman that well.

I think that's very mean. Fair enough that your dd didn't go for the meal etc but if it's an open soft play with other people there anyway, why should the mother be upset if your dd wants to join in?

And how can a grown woman be so spiteful to a small child? Evil cow.

she sounds like a miserable old cow.
who begrudges a child a drink? if a complete strangers child had come up to me i would have offered them a drink.
she sounds like a complete b i t c h. stay well clear of her.

She sounds a nasty cat. It's nothing to do with your dd - she's obviously popular. Like you said, the mum has for some reason taken against you and is being bitchy. Stupid, nasty behaviour. What does it teach her daughter?

I don't see why it should spoil the atmosphere as your dd will be in a different class, and soon enough she will socialise mostly with her class and the other mum will be a distant memory.

Fair enough DSaP, I can fully understand the money side of things, but there was certainly no need to be so mean.

I would have given her a drink, as it was from a large pitcher but that was up to her.

I was just put out that she snubbed us really as everyone came over and said hello and made a joke of the fact we were there.

Maybe it was just as much my fault, as I do struggle to like her and I felt myself tense up as I realised whose party it was. She probably picked up on that and reacted accordingly.

lol dp has just read the thread and said the woman doesn't like you because you come across as smug perfect mum who rules the school

he has now maken a hasty retreat saying that I am not like that really but can give that impression!

Some people seem to go out of their way to be offended don't they .... how anyone can be arsed with holding a grudge and being funny towards other mums beats me - life's too short. She sounds a right nutter - I would take the moral high-ground and be as nice as pie whenever you see her - leave any atmosphere spoiling up to her.

what a cow, especially not giving your dd juice. maybe she jumped to the conclusion that you were there on purpose, to try and make a point about your dd not being invited??
very silly anyway.

Roobie but I am not much better being offended over a glass of free juice. I will just smile sweetly next time I see her and ask if she enjoyed the party.

nightnight I hadn;t thought of that but why would I be offended that a child who we had not invited to our party did not invite dd to hers?

When I sent out dd invites one mum said she would add dd to her party list, a list of all the children who had invited her children to parties so she knew who she had to invite. At the time I thought she was bonkers but i am beginning to see birthday invites need military precision!

there is no telling what conclusions mean people will jump to, if my family is anything to go by. I agree though - keep the moral high ground by being ever so nice!

TSAP - I think any sane/reasonable person would draw breath and register some shock at their child being subject to such rudeness by a grown woman!