but have you ever wondered how much you mean to your friends??
warning very long waffle coming up - please feel free to answer the question without reading the rest of the post.
I've just been sat here thinking about it. Got a really close friend - haven't even known her 1yr yet, but we get on really, really well. Both got African DH's, and our DS's are similar ages (so DS1's were at nursery together last year, and DS2's will go together in a couple of years).
We met up several times over the summer holidays and I've really valued her friendship when things have been so blooming tight moneywise, and stresseful.
Last wednesday I called her and invited her DS's to DS1's birthday party on Saturday. However, before I invited them I asked how she was and she told me her little brother (34yrs old) was in a critical condition in hospital and not expected to make it. She thought her Ds's may make it to my party - I told her not worry if they couldn't come and she had to come up to Scotland to see her brother - and not to bother calling me.
Friday afternoon I decided to call and ask how her brother was, no answer, so left a message on her answer phone - when she didn't call back at all on Friday I had a horrible sinking feeling. Which was sadly confirmed on the Saturday morning. When she called to tell me her DS's couldn't come to the party (and therefore my DS wouldn't get his present )as her little brother had died on the Friday . He was 34 and had an 11yr old son too.
In between me telling her not to worry about it and giving my condolences, and her fighting back tears on the phone she told the funeral was going to be on Wednesday (yesterday) and she'd be back on Thursday (today). Stressed again to her not to worry, and to take care of herself and we left it there.
Sorry I know I'm going on, just need to get this off my chest.
Anyhow, today 6pm she called me to say she was back. Told me how the week, and funeral, had gone and how it still hadn't really sunk in (he'd only been taken ill last Monday). I told her she was welcome to come over for a coffee and a chat any time she wanted (I've always got an 'open door' policy in my house anyhow) and she said she may pop over tomorrow. At which point she had to go and put her boys to bed, and I had to bath mine.
This got me thinking, although I've viewed her as a close friend for quite some time, I've never been sure how she viewed me (close friend, friend, accquaintance etc etc). Always thought I was "just a friend" (but that could be my self confidence thing as I don't think I've ever thought that anyone else saw me as their close friend ).
She got back at 4.30pm this afternoon, after a long drive back down with her boys on her own (they're 15months and 4yrs) and knowing her routine with them they'd have eaten as they both crash at around 6.30pm. It dawned on me I was probably one of the first people she called after getting back and (as silly and stupid as this sounds) have been quite shocked/stunned/suprised (don't know what the word is I'm looking for really) that she presumably considers me a close friend too...
She's almost certainly going to come over tomorrow afternoon for coffee, which will be exactly one week since her DB died. I'm so worried I'm going to say something stupid and upset her, I think I can honestly say this is the first time in my life that I've ever felt that I "mean" something to one of my close friends, and that perhaps I am actually someone elses close friend.
Gosh I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore, probably read like a pile of poo. But it does feel better getting it off my chest, whatever it was.