sorry, need to vent!

[myermay]

Message withdrawn

I suspect it was a shock for her - but I am not good around people who are over-precious (thinking of someone in particular who sounds quite similar). I avoid them.

Good friend had a 3lb baby in Feb and it was a shock to her . it did make her overprotective thugh babe was in unit for 8 weeks. Perhaps just see her as a adult friend for a while, probalbly better than losing her totally. Different for me cos i work full time so only see friend socially but she is calming down more anyway. just give it space and time.

Maybe as her child gets older, you could gently and jokingly point out that yes, he was prem, but he can trash a toy box just as effectively as a full term, more robust child, and should therefore be expected to be just as clever at picking up?

That kind of thing. Gently put the emphasis on how similar your children are, and how they are both special, and not just hers.

But to be honest she sounds like a total princess about her life anyway, can you get her in an environment with other mums with even more horrendous stories/competative streaks?

its about good listening skills isn't it. sometimes i find i cant get a word in about my family - and of course i want to tell others about my children and my family becuase they are mine and i love them, i want to recount an anecdote or a memory and i want someone to hear it as i hear theirs. recently i found when trying to relay some accounts i got loudly interrupted before the natural break /conclusion / point of retort - this left me not wanting to bother quite frankly and i got a li8ttle upset that no one was hearing how great my family is becuase someone else was louder and a little inconsiderate. shame becuase like you - i like this person too.

While I can so feel for her having a prem baby it sounds like she was a little too precious anyway. I had a friend like this I no longer see - everything was a crisis, including what pre-dinner nibbles to eat. Felt like care in the community, then she'd have the cheek to say how much better than me she looked - dh home by 5 and totally downtrodden such as having to leave his v important job as a nuclear physicist if she had a sore throat to pick up kids! I feel much better now. it's harsh, but people like her can be really negative. If I were you I'd work out how much the friendship really means. If it's not so important, spend more time with less negative people. Good luck.

what was she like before she got pregnant myermay? is she like this about everything? i have to say, give her a chance and dont be too hard on her. its VERY easy to be overprotective when you had a prem baby and its a big shock to the system. maybe keep talking about the birth is her way of dealing with it? i know it certainly bugged me for a long time (im talking years). it can be a terrifying experience having a baby in SCBU especially when its your first and youre lying in hospital with all the new mothers who have their babies gurgling by their side when yours is in another ward. not being able to hold your own newborn. its heartbreaking in fact. i dont think youre being harsh nesessarily but i think you may have to give her a little time with it. good luck!

while having a prem baby in SCBU is a shock to the system - you could point out to her that there are far worse things to have happen.

I find people like that hard to deal with and so like Jimjams - I try to avoid them - simply for my own sanity. If you want to maintain the friendship then childless times might be the go and then you are not so stressed about her being stressed about your children upsetting hers.