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Original poster

Changing your surname after marriage/divorce

18 replies

Earlybird · 20/09/2005 23:26

I'm curious to know if people still usually change their surnames to that of their husband once they've married? Some of my friends keep their maiden names for work - especially if that's how they're known professionally. Others opt to go by their married surnames for social/legal purposes, but retain their maiden names for work only, perhaps to avoid professional confusion. Have any of you done that? Or have you done a hyphenated combination of your/your husband's surnames?

Conversely - if you've taken your husband's surname upon marriage, would you keep it after a divorce? Or would you consider reverting back to your family surname?

I vaguely know a woman who had a bland name. She married a man with a very prestigious surname. They were married for about 2 years, and had no children. They divorced acrimoniously as a result of an affair he had - which was very public, and even made the newspapers. I'm always a bit surprised that she has kept his surname, and wonder why she'd want to given his high profile betrayal.

It's a slow night.....

OP posts:

janeybops · 20/09/2005 23:29

Interesting points but I have noticed that of my friends who did not chnage their names they are all now divorced from their DH. Some who did chnage their names are also divorced but the rest are still together. I have often pondered whether this was linked????? or not????

Anyone?

hunkermunker · 20/09/2005 23:31

I changed my name. Wanted to be Mrs Munker, and for any children to be DS/DD Munker. Would feel strange to me to have a different surname from DS. And our names hyphenated sounded ludicrous.

It was a conscious decision though, something I wanted to do.

pillowcasesarecool · 20/09/2005 23:33

I don't like my married surname (can I say that? - anyway I just did) but was happy to take it

lockets · 20/09/2005 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

steffee · 20/09/2005 23:41

I hated dh's surname but took it anyway, mainly for the whole family to have the same name. Two years later I couldn't stand the name anymore (and had found out dh hated it too) so we all changed our names back to my family name. Strange, I know, but we still all have the same name.

TwinSetAndPearls · 20/09/2005 23:46

I changed mine and dd name after my divorce, just because I wasn't that person anymore, my ex had a well known family in the town I was living and I wanted to distance myself from them.

Flum · 20/09/2005 23:49

I've just got married, have changed my name..... in theory. Just haven't actually got around to informing the powers that be: passport, DVLA, banks blah blah.

knowing me will just never get round to it.

New name can be pronounced two ways, I find that somewhat irritating. Never had that with my 'real' name. DP still calls me Miss Flum. I like that, and told him I will be Mrs HisWife to everyone else but Miss Flum to him til I die.

eidsvold · 20/09/2005 23:55

when first married and then divorced - I kept the name simply because I had everything changed over legally into his name and it would have cost money ( in terms of the mortgage etc) to change it back and after a horrid divorce that cost me a fortune I did not have the money to change it.

2nd time - changed to dh's name as I loved his surname but would have changed it anyway.

janeybops · 20/09/2005 23:57

In the end I did change my name but it was a difficult decision for me. That was the hardest part of getting married and I think it took at least 18 months to get used to it. Still sign my old name occasionally though

My name was much better than his is but liek others I wanted all of the family to be the same.

Tortington · 21/09/2005 00:40

i have a bank account in my maiden name so i dont have to fck about if he shags a tart and i chuck him out and screw him for everything he has and force him into a sefl loathing depression.

y'know just incase

BadgerBadger · 21/09/2005 00:58

I used H's name since we married. Now that we're divorcing I want my name back!
Can I have DDs' names changed to my maiden name too? Not that I'm intending too, necessarialy, but I'm certainly interested.

jabberwocky · 21/09/2005 01:29

Let's see, with dh1 I hyphenated. It sounded pretty cool, unlike some but was still a pain getting it right in doctor's offices computers, etc.

Took my maiden name back after divorce.

Now with dh2 (who has a really great last name btw) I use his name socially, practice under my maiden name and haven't gotten around to changing it legally on anything but my driver's license.

bobbybob · 21/09/2005 05:05

I changed mine to Dh's surname - because I was only 24 and intend to be married to him for longer than 24 years and so I will have his name for longer in the long run.

Bouj · 21/09/2005 05:18

I took DH's primarily because we wanted to easily moved between Australia and UK, and it made the whole process easier if we had the same names. Think I would have anyway, as am a bit old fashioned.... Plus his surname was cooler than mine. Still found it weird, when a few days after the wedding I changed everything to my new name, to facilitate my UK visa - mourned the old me a bit, the name I had always known was gone. But hey ho, happy with it now. And BadgerBadger - my mum changed mine and hers by deed poll when she divorced my natural father. We both took my 'Dad's' name before she actually married him!! Twas the 70's..

auntymandy · 21/09/2005 05:54

I changed mine..both times. Now my children have different surnames!

Hazellnut · 21/09/2005 08:41

Changed mine ! Its easier to spell than my maiden name !! Seriously though, to me it was all part of it and I love having the same name and dd having it too. Annoys me when people don't when addressing envelopes cos you can't put mr and mrs blah....

My aunt divorced my uncle when she had young children and kept his name till the children were grown up and then changed back to her maiden name.

zippitippitoes · 21/09/2005 09:15

Well, I was married for 20 years and didn't really think about changing back to my maiden name when i got divorced..though i think exh wrote me couple of letters with my maiden name on..

I just thought he was being weird and pointed but perhaps I'm the odd one!

My reasons for keeping it were that I wanted the same name as my children, I identified myself with my married name as much as exh so it would have been like losing my identity to give it up, too much hassle and hardly anybody I knew knew my maiden name anyway.

Onbe annoying thing about being divorced is that if expils send any thing to the children they address them as child name C/O our address and this really p's me off as it is intended to imply that they are somehow not really my family despite the fact that they live with me ..but then the expils are the most petty of people.

tallulah · 21/09/2005 18:16

Didn't change my name when we got married 22 years ago. DH had planned to take my name instead but told ILs and they went berserk. No idea why as he is the youngest of 3 boys and the other 2 were married with 2 boys each but there you go. Should have taken that as an omen and called the whole thing off but young and stupid hey ho.

Hyphenated by deed poll a month before first baby arrived. Several years later I hear him on the phone saying "This is Mr Wifesname". His work only know him with my name, and I only use my name at work. DD won't use his name, DS1 mainly uses his name and we can never remember which authority we have given which name to. Every time I struggle with the long double-barrelled name I curse my ILs.

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