I was coming online to post about my daughter with special needs but have just started panicking about something completely different.
A year ago I received some money in a relative's will. I had been told by the person before their death there would be very little because of debts that had to be paid off. I had always said i didn't want the money as I wanted the person not the money. Anyway i thought he would want me to have it so I will accpet but use it for something really worthwhile, i wouldn't want to waste it so will save it until necessary.
Another problem I had was that the rest of the family were so terrible I had moved to get away fro them, they didn't know where I was, I therefore would not give even the solicitor my whereabouts and asked for the money to be paid to a friend I trusted with my life.
Once I agreed to this, I found out how much it was for and I was on income support but thought the money was legally his, and also I owed this friend lots of money and also my husband whom I was still married to but was now my ex was in debt cos of money he took it for me so I had always said he could have it, and have always been scared of him when money is involved as he was a bit financially controlling. I let him have several grand the rest is still with my friend although is down to less than 16000. Shortly after the money was received the friend had to leave the country, then had problems with his son, then his son died and I am didn't want to bother him for any money anyway.
I have been waiting for bereavement counselling as I am complletely screwed up from the death and am not even starting to move on and most of the time don't even remember the money. However I am now desperate to move house or get this one made bigger and also replace my appliances as all have conked out at once. This got me thinking about my inheritance money and i was thinking of reluctantly using it to make life easier for me and my children , but I didn't declare it as i thought it wasn't mine legally. If I now use it I need to declare it but I think I should have declared it straight away and am worried sick. I chased after a man who dropped some money the other day, handed in a lost mobile phone etc _ I thought I was an honest person and I am in pieces. I want to declare it now but a) I think the friend has spent it and not told me as I know he was struggling financially and b) I will be in trouble for not declaring it before even though I was to traumatised and also believeing I didn't need to.
Sorry this is so long, I am just a mess now and will not sleep at all tonight