Is it alright to swear in front of young children?

[novadandypowder]

I've just come back from lunch with DH and a couple of his male friends, and the restaurant is quite family oriented. On the table next to us was a family with 3 children under the age of 6. DH and his friends were having an animated discussion which involved swear words. I asked them to watch their language as a couple of the children were literally sat at their elbows (very tightly packed restaurant).

They thought I was wrong. Their reasons being that children are exposed to this kind of language all the time when out, and that swear words should just be treated as 'normal' words, so that the kids won't think of them as being rude or naughty.

I like to think that if you don't have to use swear words, especially in front of children, then don't use them.

Am I being naive? Would you ask people not to swear in front of your children? Do I have to accept that my future children are going to have a more colourful vocabulary than mine?

I don't use swear words and don't expect anyone else to in front of my child either (or any other children). I hate to hear it. All our friends were reminded when DD was around to watch their language and all respect that.

Your children may well her that language out and about but they don't have to believe it to be acceptable or the norm. So long as you and your DH don't let them think it is, they won't.

No. I know they'll pick it up at school, and I use it when they're not around, but I won't have them speaking like that in the house.

Good job, you were not sitting next to me.

Bad language is the last refuge of the inarticulate.

Everyone or most everyone uses the odd swear word, but I am horrified that an adult would see fit to justify the use of it, in front of children.

Did they do a line of coke in front of them as well,?? just in case they are ever exposed to that as well.

Totally shocked and angry.

I don't like it. They copy everything. Dh said 'bugger' the other day - I think because ds3 poked him in the eye or something - and ds2 promptly copied it.

I think you are right and adults should think about what they are saying around children.

No, it's not acceptable. I do swear sometimes in front of ds but it's always totally accidental. I wouldn't have a conversation like that in a 'tightly-packed' restuarant anyway - kids or no kids.

If you allow people to use swear words around your children or use them yourself then you are sending messages to your children that it is OK to swear, I personally think that the use of swear words shows a lack of good vocabulary and very bad manners so I would not allow anyone to swear around my child, however if you use swear words as part of your everyday life then your take on the matter may be different.
BUT..... I think your friends were totally wrong to swear in front of children that are nothing to do with them, what they teach there children is up to them and if I was the parent on the other table I would have been asking them to try using other ways to express themselves or at least keep there voices down.

I dont really swear anyway (and when i do its usually "oh pants") and i discourage friends and family from doing it round dd. I dont think there is any need for ever swearing anyway...

No unacceptable. I am surprised the Mum did not turn round and ask you to be quiet.
I do still remember my Mum's advice on swearing when I first heard it (I was 7). She said, you will hear these wordS from ignorant people with small vocabularies. You are not ignorant so I don't expect you to repeat them. Worked til I was about 14!

Ooops - I don't mean you, I meant the men!

I'm glad it's not just me that thinks swearing is still wrong. I was incrediably embarrassed by their language and disappointed that they felt that way about it.

I will certainly be asking people to watch their language around my children (first one is due in 7wks) and hope that they respect my wishes.

We say 'booger' instead of 'bugger'. 'Sow' instead of 'sod'. Yeah, we've gotten pretty creative.

I can understand that DH and one of his friends don't have any experience of being around children, which means that they're probably not used to having to watch what they say. But the other friend who disagreed with me the most has a 12yr old daughter and a new baby .

DH did apologise and was careful about what he said after that, but he agreed with his friends POV.