Not sure about continuing to sponsor a child in Kenya...

[Whippet]

For the last 6 years we have sponsored a little girl in Kenya through World Vision.
We give £18 a month. She is now about 10.

I'm beginning to feel in two minds about whether to continue with this, as it hasn't really turned out to be the experience I thought it would be .

Basically we did it to obviously help someone less fortunate than ourselves, but also because we thought it would be a good way of getting the DSs (now 10 & 8) to understand about poverty in less developed countries etc.

I guess we fully 'bought into' all the marketing - the stories about regular letters from your sponsored child, the photos, the chance to send little gifts, and the developing relationship etc. We read the exciting 'case studies' of families who eventually went to meet their sponsored child/family.

The reality for us has been very different. Our money goes out every month, but we get very little feedback. I have sent letters and photos and little gifts, but rarely hear anything back.

Once a year we get a hastily completed 'checklist' which details her age, height and a comment on health ("satisactory") and her interests ("playing" and "chores").
The last page is blank, with the header "A special message or picture from your child" Mostly this has been left blank, although the last one had two squiggly lines about one inch long in the middle of the page?

We get an annual report about the work in the general community sometimes too.

Needless to say, the DSs lost interest long ago , and now I think I am too .

DH thinks we should call it a day and perhaps look to make a charitable donation elsewhere.

I'm going backwards and forwards in my mind.

• I feel so guilty about pulling out, BUT I feel disappointed that there doesn't seem to be any 'relationship'

But then I think "this isn't about US - it's about her/her family" But every month when I see the £18 go out I feel annoyed - as if we've been conned, by being promised something that hasn't happened...

It's really difficult

Contact World Vision and ask for more constructive feedback rather than pulling the donation.

Charitable donations shouldn't be made to make you feel good, or as a way of providing an education for your children, although an awareness of the wider world is a good thing. But you can legitimately ask questions to ensure the money is being properly allocated.

I appreciate that it's not designed to make us feel good, but I think it's wrong to set up an expectation of how the arrangement will work, only then for it to be something very different in reality?

In a way I'd rather have been told "You will get an annual report from the project" and then I wouldn't have had any different expectation.

I think many of these sponsorship projects are heavily promoted on an educational basis. I just feel disappointed when my children ask why we haven't heard anything about our sponsored child.

I have sponsored about 5 children through worldvision over the last 15 years. Generally I usually get a reply to any letters I send but it usually takes about 1-2 months for them to receive my letters and often longer to get a reply so a real relationship type thing is very difficult.

I almost always get a thank you for any small gifts but it is often months after I sent them so I now keep a record of the date I sent a letter and what was in it so that I don't forget what I sent/wrote.

Also the language issue doesn't help. The letters are dictated by written by children (or their parents of they are v young) and translated by local staff so can feel very stilted. However I still get a lot of pleasure sending little gifts (baloons, pens, stickers etc) that I know these children will appreciate these small things so much more than ds ever would that I keep on doing it.

I know what you mean re the relationship, it was a bit disappointing but I started it way before ds wa born do ds's view of it is irrelevant to me. He does like to be involved in the letters and choosing the luttle gifts to send but it isn't that big a thing for him really.

I think the advertising does sell it as more than it is but I don't think my expectations were as high as yours were anyway. I sort of knew it was a marketing message.

You can always visit if you want to you know, but the reality is most people haven't got the time,money or inclination to do that and that is OK.

That's interesting BB - but you see I've NEVER even had a single reply or letter!

I suppose it does make me wonder if any of my letters/gifts ever get there!?

Whippet

I would definitely ask WV why you are not getting replies. My experience is I generally do and 6 years of no letters at all if you have written does seem very odd.

The letter writing does vary though, I've sponsored children in Pakistan, Kenya, Ethiopia and India and in some areas you get more consistent replies than others.

The little girl I sponsored in Pakistan (from age 6 to 11 years old) sent a reply to every letter I sent so I have about 10-14 letters from her (I have kept all the replies). Howevever in Kenya it was more variable I think, I sponsored a toddler whose family left so I was allocated a little girl of about 6 years old. The replies from there weren't so consistent.

I usually write 2-3 times a year over and above the Christmas and Birthday cards and send little gifts each time. I have loads of reply letters in my WV file.

Alphabetty, for similar reasons to you we are planning to actually take our children to a project in a developing country. We'd like them to see first hand that life is far more varied than in the UK, to help out and play and learn with the other children, and to make friends who they will hopefully stay in touch with for a long time.

This, of course, depends on finances/ how well we can save up! Ideally we'd like to take a trip every 3-4 years or so (Uganda, so similar air fares to Kenya, I'm sure).

Would you consider getting your family involved in a project - doesn't even have to be abroad, really. It would be much more of a learning experience for everyone.

Sorry, meant to address that to Whippet.

Examine why you did it in the first place. Did you do it to feel good about yourself, or did you do it because every child deserves an education and a decent standard of health?